Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
My H had an A 3 years ago that led me to find out that I was married to a total stranger. He had done so many disgusting things that I was unaware of that I still can't trust him, even though he says he's changed. Anyway, I wanted to send his little friend a ho ho ho Christmas card just to vent a little and I don't know whether or not to mail it. I have never confronted her about the A and I know I have a lot of resentment built up in me, both towards her and my H. Any suggestions?
PS. We were married for over 30 years at the time and she is 20 years younger than him.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1 |
I wouldn't it, it isn't worth it. Focus on yourself and your M. Nothing to be gained except a momentary personal satisfaction that later on you might regret.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815 |
Truedy, I think that ragjax is probably right, but I would get a very large dose of personal satisfaction by sending a polite dignified Christmas greeting. I would let her know what you know and wish her a Happy New Year. Maybe this would give her something to think about if she is spending the holiday fooling around with someone else's H. HoHoHo, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 197
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 197 |
Hey Truedy. Someone once posted here.."Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die".
Too true. Vent your resentment here on friendly ears. We've all been there or are still there. And if you must do something do as Ladysing58 says and send an honorable card. You'd be suprised at how much better it makes you feel than venting on her. I did than to my W's OM 8 years ago and it helped me. And he left town!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236 |
Truedy,<p>Welcome seeing as no one has done that yet!!!<p>There is some awesome information for you to read at this sight and I encourage you to do so ASAP.<p>If you go to "Just found out" there is a welcome post there that will tell you about posting and what some of the abbreviations mean.<p>Again welcome!! Go read, read, read and read some more!!!!<p>Dawn
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 980
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 980 |
Hello Truedy,<p>Welcome. Is the A over but the former OW is still around at work or something? Do you suspect that she is still interested in your H?<p>If the affair was over three years ago, I don't think you would gain anything by contacting her. After all, he's with you now. <p>If you feel comfortable doing so, let us know more about your background. There are lots of books that people can recommend to help you understand what has happened and to help you deal with your feelings about your H, the OW, and the A.<p>Estes
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
362
guests, and
18
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
