I do understand what plan A is. I have been trying my hardest to do the best plan A I can. The problem I am having is during the plan A I believe the WS recognizes the effort and they take advantage of the BS in a lot of ways.
For example my wife (WS) has noticed that I am putting forth a real strong effort in making myself a better person. I believe at this point she knows I won't get upset or yell or anything like that. I feel as if she is pushing things to an extreme because she knows that I am in plan A.
For example my wife never smoked pot in our house before. This weekend she came home and said I bought some pot. So last night she did say you mind if I fire it up and smoke some. If I say "NO" it will just take more LB's out of her bank. So I said I don't care. When she was smoking up and I did speak to her, I told her how uncomfortable I was with her smoking up with other men. I told her from a husband aspect I am very uncomfortable with it. Then she said what about me smoking up with other girls. I told her I was a little more comfortable with her smoking up with girls over the guys. But what I prefer most is that whenever she does smoke up that I am around to know what she is doing. Then she started into this b.s. about saying what I can never smoke up without you around. This is why I think the WS begins to just push things further and further. I tell her what I am and am not comfortable with. However sometimes she takes it as if I am making demands which withdraws major LB's.
My wife knows about MB but at this time doesn't care to follow it. My wife is spinning out of control with the partying and smoking of pot. The people she works with and hangs out with all like to party and smoke pot. Her friends that she hangs with like to smoke pot. My wife went seven years without smoking it out of respect for me. Now she doesn't give a s@@t about me or the marriage.
The only thing we do lately together is go out with her friends and drink. Of course I am just a ghost because my wife doesn't acknowledge me at all when we are out. Normally they all go smoke pot before going out and these are the people she works with. I know what you are thinking and yes the company must be so stupid that all of them do this and get away with it.
In a big way my wife has turned to pot and drinking to ease her pain of her own depression. I have suggested she go see a doctor for help. However she just doesn't want to go because she thinks she isn't depressed.
The question I have is how do I handle her smoking the pot? Do I tell her if she does give me respect in the matter of what I am comfortable with she can do it? Or do I just let her use me like a door mate like she has been doing? Also she likes going out a lot. I am fine with it once or twice a week. But I want to tell her what I am comfortable with but she doesn't give a crap. So how do I tell her what I am comfortable with? I don't want to be used like a door mat..
Help...