And I don't mean listening to "everybody hurts" or "it's the end of the world" until you can't take it anymore and run back to your spouse, screaming [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Our MC suggested it for me, to get the images worked out of my head. Mind you, this is the ONLY suggestion this guy has ever made. He seems supportive enough, but he rarely speaks, just sits there and listens. This must be Freudian analysis? Anyhow, it sounds possitively miserable. But it would be a last effort to stay in this M. I can't deal with the images, the triggers. They are devestating and they still haunt me, 24/7. I just jump from one woman to the next and the next and the next... like he did. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Is it worth it? Does it work? It sounds even more painful than what I'm going through now, at my brains own plodding, incomprehending pace. But at least it's MY pace... <p>Snow

Hi Snow,
Is your counselor a Christian counselor? If they are, ask about Theophostic Ministry. It is going through the memories, feeling the feelings, remebering exactly what those feelings were, defining the lie, and letting God heal you. I have just started with a Christian counselor and I am hopeful, it is new to me and a little scary. The lie is for example, a victim of child abuse may feel helpless, or guilty in the memory, and carry those same feelings into the present about different situations. The lie is the child was helpless then, not guilty, the abuser was guilty, and the child is no longer helpless as an adult. But the different triggers brings back those emotions and the person may still feel helpless, once the lie is exposed, then the healing can occur. I have just started this and will let you know how it progresses. I did see a traditional counselor about a year ago, and never felt like I got anywhere, after paying the copay I felt like it was money wasted because I still kept the same feelings I walked in there with. I don't want things to haunt me for the rest of my life, I want release from it and hope in the future. If you have any information on Theophostic Ministry, please pass it along.
Thank you, and I hope things are improving.

SFMC, no my counselor is not a Christian counselor, but he IS a practicing Christian. His method is Freudian, in that he sits and listens and rarely gives advice or feedback. The expectation is that you will come to your own conclusion since you already (in theory) have the answers you need. If there are any professionals out there with a better/different definition, please feel free to elaborate.<p>The REM therapy sounds similar to Theophosic. The counselor gets your eyes to mimic REM sleep, deep and active dream phase sleep and then asks you to relive whatever it is that is causing your flashbacks. The idea is that you relive it so frequently and with such intensity that you become numb to it. He's the second to diagnose me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and REM therapy is a common treatment for this. <p>I thought I remembered reading a post somewhere here on MB by someone who had gone through it a few months back. I'd love to hear how well that worked out, if anyone knows. <p>Snow

Good morning Snow,
Theophostic doesn't put you in a dream state or trance. It wants you to access the memory and then allow God to direct you. I was very skeptical at first, it says you will be completely healed once the lie is exposed. Of course I want to be completely healed, but after harboring these feelings for so long and not having any relief, it was difficult for me to believe that it could finally be over. I do a lot of praying, and am giving this my best shot, and trying to say focused on God. I prayed that God would give me a way to heal completely right before finding this counselor, she was recommended by my general pract. So I am moving forward on faith. My previous counselor sounded a lot like yours, and I liked her and did learn many things, but these issues were never resolved. Coping mechanisms are fine, and in some cases neccessary, but we are actively working on our marriage and I am hindering our progress by having strong holds that are triggered and put us two steps back. I have my second appointment at the end of this coming week, let you know how it goes. Hope you have a good day. p.s. the thread with SOW is so wierd, and I too do not understand why she is posting here. Some members think it is fake, what do you think?

Never heard of "REM" therapy, but HAVE heard of "EMDR" --where eye movement is used as part of the technique. It is most often used for post-traumatic stress disorder. I wonder if that is what your therapist is referring to?<p>My sister tried this for some PTSD type problems she had, and found it very, very effective. I was rather skeptical, but asked two other therapists I know, and both said that so far the work that has been done on it indicate that it is very successful in relieving flashbacks, triggers, anxiety and depression following traumatic events. I would just be sure that the therapist has training in it and is not using you as a guinea pig.<p>Kathi

I may have the name wrong... sounds like the same thing. REM is how the MC explained it to me. Used that analogy several times. He's been practicing for a long, long time. Older man, lots of patients. He's recently used the therapy on other patients suffering PTSD, so I'm sure it's what your sister has tried, KAM. <p>But I will look into Theophostic, also. ANYTHING to just heal already. I'm so stuck in the same groove, so imcapable of escape. I thought counseling would help. But it seems to have just given me a different way to express the same feelings, same fears, no way to really cope with them. <p>I told my H tonight that if we did get back together, I doubt myfeelings of Love would return. The thought of giving myself (AGAIN!) to a man who could be so selfish, so hurtful, really makes me feel awful. Maybe this is the only way I feel I can regain control of my life. It would be the only decision I've ever made in this relationship. And I would love to be able to see him, accept him for who is today, but with the pain of the nightmares, the flashbacks, the triggers, it's all but impossible. <p>Thanks for your replies.<p>Snow<p>PS as for SOW thread... I know I ran across it somewhere. Refresh my memory.<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Snowwhite ]</p>

Hi Snow,
The Theophostic is working!! Today we went through the process and got to the route of one of my underlying issues. I feel great!! How is the REM therapy going? Hope you are doing fine and progressing. Check in soon, God is so good!!

Snow,
Girl havent seen you in a while - missed you.
Dont know anything about eye movements, hope it helps. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

I have just one thing to say which should explain why I haven't started the therapy yet.... HMO. I'm working on them. These are the same people who told me that my oral surgeon should submit a medical claim for an extraction and they would deny, it but that then he could submit a dental claim and that's when they would pay for the surgery [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] Why not just send in a dental claim to begin with? " Oh he has, and it's been denied. This is the next step. " She sounded SERIOUS! I hung up wondering who it was that really needed the therapy... <p>I had one last MC session this week. My H is going next week. Theoretically, I should be able to start the following week. Unless I have to first submit a dental claim which will be denied but then I could submit an x-ray claim which would be denied to me but not to Mr. Smith down the hall... [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sadprincess, I was looking for you a while back... how's stuff? Hey guess what? I actually took my youngest D to Starbucks around Christmas time and the walls did not cave in around me! Now if I could only work up the courage to walk into THAT Starbucks... icch! Let's wait until the therapy starts and see, shall we? <p>sfmc, it's good news indeed. You sound positively giddy! What a relief it must be to get some of that bad stuff out. I'm so glad for you. Keep up the good work! <p>Snow

Hi Snow,
You can purchase the book and work on it own your own. I'll get the title and author info together for you. There is also a web site about it. I don't have all the info in front of me, just took time out from hectic sat morning cleaning! HMO's are a nightmare, hope things improve. Ask your dr.'s office for help, they can work things just right to fulfill the req's for the insurance and then the ins. will cover it. talk soon,