MAN vs WOMAN
> >
> > I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ
> > so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I
> > never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their
> > heart. Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire gets thrown into
> > a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."
> >
> > One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
> > passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I just
> > want you to hold me."
> >
> > I said, "WHAT?!"
> >
> > So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dreads.
> > She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a
> > Woman.
> >
> > I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing
> > is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.
> >
> > The very next day the we went shopping at a big, unnamed department
> > store...
> > I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She
> > couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
> >
> >
> > She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I
> > say, "OK." And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of
> > diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited! She must have
> > thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
> > cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
> > because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when
> > I told her that it was OK.
> >
> > She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen
> > her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
> >
> > I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel
> > like buying all this stuff now."
> >
> > You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said,
> > "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just
> > when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must
> > not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
> >
> > I figure that I might be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw
> > of 2003.
> >
> > [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Ten thumbs up!

Mercy, Mercy... That is hilarious! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Really, if men and women could just see life from the others perspective more often we would get along sooo much better! Ladysing

I think that was cruel of you to lead your wife on and dump her... I do not think your wives intentions in the sex. dept... was to lead you on like that.<p>I do not know if you are bs or ws... but you definitely did a big lb... and you seem to of been playing tit for tat... this was not loving behavior, it was cruel punishment.<p>Have you read dr. phil's relationship rescue? You may want to take a look at it, and what you do to hurt your relationship... I do not think that your wife, was trying to hurt you by asking to be held... it sounds like you are neglecting her needs, and that makes sf harder for her... you should think about that... that waas a big problem for my H... <p>I think that is terrible, how you willfully and meaningfully lead your wife on... I do not think she led you on in the same way. I think if you spent some time holding her, and caring for her... even NONfinancially, then she would want more sf... and even if the other night you turned to her, and held her for a while, then perhaps sf would of come sooner, and more willingly, as she would be in a mental position to surrender to you... based on the trust and communcication in your relationship... I am sickened by how bad you treated her... you do not have to spend all that money on your wife... but pretending that you would... and letting her down, was cruel... She obviously was enjoying your special treatment of her, and I think as your wife she deserved to be treated special. Also , lots of women like tennis bracelets even if they don't play tennis that is just what they are called.<p>I suggest you offer to make up for your immature and cruel treatment of her, and tell her you would like to rebuild things and show her how sorry you are... if you truly are... but frorm the sounding of your posts... I think you don't care. I am sorry that you treated her so cruelly... I would be sick over this sort of treatment to me, and repulsed by you.<p>HONEY [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Honey, <p>That was a joke that has been passed around for a long time. Could it really happen? Yes. But it is just a story. <p>For those women who do that to their husbands, I can understand the reaction & I am the Wife!!! <p>Mercy, <p>That was too funny..... LOL [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyway here's another fun point to ponder and it was sent to me by an R&D guy no less!!!! LOL!<p>Subject: Intersexual communication<p>
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH<p> * Yes = No
* No = Yes
* Maybe = No
* We need = I want
* I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
* We need to talk = I need to complain
* Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
* Is my butt too fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
* Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
* I'm not upset = Of course I'm PO'ed, you moron!
* Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
* How much do you love me? = I totalled the car today
* Be romantic, turn out the lights = My thighs are too fat
* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
* Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
* You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat too much
* It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
* You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
* I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on TV<p> TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH<p> * I'm tired = I'm tired
* I'm hungry = I'm hungry
* I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
* Nice dress = Nice cleavage
* I love you = Let's have sex now
* I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
* What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
* I love you too = OK, I said it, can we have sex now?
* May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you
* Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you
* You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with
you
* Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other men
* Let's talk = I'm trying to impress you by showing that I'm a deep
person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Orchid, those translations are too funny! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I called my H in and we cracked up reading them, I hope he never tells me my shoes don't go with my outfit! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

[img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Oh my goodness, H and I read this whole thread together and have been dying laughing!!! <p>I don't know which was more funny. Thank God we're not all like either one of those..<p>Still lol over it..hehehe