I have love letters from my wife's affair. One letter from each of them. she knows I have them and it bothers her. she thinks I read them over and over. Definately not the case - too painful. I've been keeping them in case of a divorce which is what she is contemplating and also if the affair continues or starts up again, I will notify his wife and his/wife's employer - he is a supervisor in her department. I'm feeling guilty due to a form of blackmail. Do I really want that insurance while it is love busting. If I destoy them and give them back it would relieve my guilt and maybe even gain a love deposit. What is all of your opinions out there

I'm sorry I do not see this as blackmail.You have children and a possible divorce to consider here.
Under no circumstances should you give up those letters. They may help you protect your children's future.
I would advise you to go and see an employment lawyer and see what chance you have with a harrassement case.
Have you explained to your wife that she was paid to provide sexual services to this man?

I'm pressed for time here so I'll be brief ...<p>First - I've been in personnel management for almost 20 years. One of my favorite suits of all time is the one in which a BH sued W's employer after he found out about her EMA with a co-worker. As I recall, the A was suspected/known around the workplace. BH won his suit...on grounds of "intentional infliction of emotional distress" and (as allowed by his state divorce laws) facilitating the A and allowing it to continue. Food for thought.<p>Second - KEEP THOSE LETTERS. If you make progress in your marriage, you'll get to a point where you'll know you no longer need them. You can both make a very special night out of getting rid of them together. You'll KNOW when that time comes. If you're not sure you're here yet, you're not. If you save your marriage destroying those letters together will be something to bring you even closer. If you don't save your marriage, your attorney needs them. Right now you both are examining which way to go with this. Protect yourself and take care of yourself.<p>OK... I'm already late so gotta run.<p>Good luck and keep posting. People here really care.<p>- First Light

Hi Panaju,
Just wanted to say that I agree with the others that keeping the letters is not blackmail. You have to protect yourself and especially your kids. Good luck and God bless!
BH