My wife is a little over 2 weeks into no communication with the OM. She had a PA and a strong EA and has been going through withdrawl. I've been doing plan A strong with a few admitted slip ups early on. I think I've been pretty good lately. I've tried to give her as much time and space as she needs. I've showing as much affection as she needed (trying not to over or under do it). I've being there for her when she was really sad and tried to not expepct or demand anything back. I've been taking the lions share of responsibilities in our apartment in addition to my other day to day stuff, since she was not motivated in the least because of grief. I don't mind the cooking and cleaning.I've done my best to know and meet all her EN's and improve myself<p>It is working well I think and she has thanked me for being a good friend and my patience. I admittedly get discouraged at times, but Im getting in the groove of it all. <p>Last week she started to open up to me and cry at night. She let some of the hurt out to me and , while it was hard to listen to, I held her and let her grieve about missing OM. It felt good at least that she was TALKING to me about her feelings. She was miserable and stated she felt like she was dying inside. She asked a few hurtful thigns like how could I let her be so miserable. I told her I loved her and if needed I would let her go if she really wanted to. <p>Well in the last few days she has seemed to instantly be almost cheery. She has been nicer to me and has initiated a peck on the lips from time to time. She isnt sad in front of me anymore and I cant tell if she has been crying or not. She has been leaving work a few times earlier than usual each day, meaning she is home alone about hour before me. <p>She is listening to Sarah mcglochlin song in her car every time I check. The lines of which are a woman singing about a man she can't be with but loves "I dont know how to let you go." or something. Also she asked me last night if "I was sick of her yet? " I smiled and said what do you mean? she said nevermind she was just being goofy. (which she does sometimes) She talks to her girlfriend often who she met him with that first night, and I think she may be giving her updates on him.<p>We are not quite at the stage where we can openly talk about things so I will not pressure her. I have my doubts still if she is trying to recover or if she made a pact with the OM when she told me she would "end communication" to
pretend to try. (she did this before, in fact an old old e-mail to OM said " I can't wait till he realizes there isnt anything he can do anymore" when she was pretending to me to work on it) <p>I still wonder what she said when she "ended communication" if she ENDED it or told him to wait for her. I promised her at her request not to ask about it.<p>She has been pretty busy and we have been doing more things together. I've been a good friend at least, we dont talk about the M much because Im afraid of breaking her happy mood. I don't know if I should push or ask her if she has had contact since. <p>SO what is your opinion. am I being paranoid? Keep in mind, while these are facts I think, this was written by a suspicious mind. I am not entierly trusting quite yet. In truth I dont believe she has e-mailed him from home, and it is 2 weeks before the phone bill comes to see if she has been using her cell to talk to him, though they could be talking from work.<p>Please fire away. Let me know if I am being paranoid and am just being suspicious/ungreatful of her efforts to try with me. I don't trust my own judgement on this matter as I am clouded by my emotions and suspicion also.<p>OH. another note which might have a part in the mix. maybe. My good long time friend (female) came down this weekend. My wife knew she was coming we were playing cards a bit and talking when my wife came home then, we went out to eat. They dont know each other real well, but my wife knows my friend and I once had feelings for each other. We had a good comforting hug in front of my wife when she left. After that my wife was nicer to me.I would think maybe jelousy might be a factor, though she started being less miserable BEFORE my friend visited. I wish I could look in her head and see whats going on in there.<p>[ January 30, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]<p>[ January 30, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]</p>
