WS called me at 2am Sunday morning in the middle of a major melt-down. W was really upset because OM isnt going to leave his W to marry WS, Gee, go figure. She was really in a tirade, getting down on OM's W for ruining thier plans to be together, bad-mouthing OM for loving his W and family and wanting to work on his M instead of devoting his time to WS, trashing her family for not supporting her with getting involved with OM. It was really something to hear her say all this stuff. Earlier W said that the A was over and that they were only friends now, odd kind of friendhip if you ask me.<p>I get the feeling that OM did some serious LB-ing over the last few days and W may have put an ultimatum on him. W seemed pretty happy for a while, probably because she was thinking OM was still going to leave his W. I remember that soon after DDay, W made a comment about how OM was going to try and work things out with his W, but didn't think he could and then he would leave his W for WS. W even mentioned that this was their 'dream', to leave their spouses and spend the rest of their lives together. Funny how fairy tales never have happy endings in real life.<p>The interesting thing about his conversation was that W didn't once mention how bad our M was. She even commented again about what a great team we made, how much she missed the little things I did for her (domestic support) and how I was always there for her when she really needed me (emotional support), like right now. She also pointed out that we had some really great times together. The only negative thing she mentioned was that she thought that she never gave me a chance to love her because she got pregnant and felt like she forced me to marry her. I simply told her that marrying her was my choice, and staying married to her for 13 years was my choice and wanting to remain married to her was my choice as well because I love her. I think I even threw in something about how we make our own choices in relationships and that no one ever really forces us to do anything.<p>W even said that it is time for her to deal with her problems now. Funny thing is that now all her problems are a result of her family, it used to be that everything was my fault, seems like she is directing her anger at her family now. W said that she needs to read some of 'those books' that I have read and even asked what kinds of support groups I was involved in that allowed me to get through this so well. W then asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner next weekend, said she will make a big meal for me if I wanted.<p>Not sure where this is all going, but the dynamics are definetly changing. Guess I will have to wait and see what happens, put Plan B on hold for now. Patience and time, right?

Patience, Time, Faith and Belief...<p>Funny things happen when we put our life and God's hands... eh?<p>
Cali

loveherstill,<p>A is breathing it last breath. Yes, plan B is not correct. Put you best plan A and make sure she saw you as a better choice. Give her SAA if she has not read it yet.

Redhat-<p>I'm hopeful that the A is showing signs of dying as well, I envision a cockroach that just got a healthy dose of Raid, a lot running in circles and then that pitiful lay on your back and flail your legs around a lot.<p>W has told me before that I am the better than OM. I am, in fact, bizarro-om. I think that may have been what drew W to OM and then into the A. It was exciting, dangerous and full of fun. I, on the other hand, had both feet on the ground, didn't like to party much, would rather spend time as a family, you know, BORING!<p>W read HNHN's early on but said that those ideas really wont work in our situation. I offered SAA but she didn't want to read it. After all, why read about surviving an affair when you are still having one. But now, she is interested in all sorts of material. I took the kids yesterday (not part of the visitation schedule) so that she could go to the library and check out some books.<p>Cautiously optimistic, that's what I am right now. There have been other instances in the past where I thought the A was over, but this time really seemed like something substantial. W has made many comments recently that show me she is starting to realize what she has done and the seriousness of it all.