I'm writing this in hopes that maybe some of this will help you all... or at least give you some positive insights.<p>My H and I almost separated about 3 weeks ago, we just didnt know what more to do with our lives...he wanted me to 'give' more of myself...i was trying, but hesitant...<p>At the suggestion of our counselor,instead of an indefinite separation, he suggested one for 2 weeks.... and we would take turns keeping the kids, but the kids would not realize it was any kind of 'separation'... so we did that....<p>Something amazing happened.... after our 2 weeks... we met for lunch and talked.... he said he had been in alot of deep prayer and had prayed alot for God to open my heart back up to him... AND he said he realized....that what God wanted him to do was to quit being selfish.....and to do whatever it takes to fight for our marriage..and for us... ALSO, during those prayers......... he forgave himself for all the wrong things he had done in our marriage.......and he forgave me for all that I had done.....even the A. He said a tremendous weight had been lifted off of him...he had tears in his eyes.<p>During my 2 weeks, things had been a bit different..mostly I was busy with the kids...doing what needed to be done....butI spent some time alone and reading some self-help books... (Self Matters)...and discovered things about myself and why i reacted to certain things, etc....but I came out of those weeks with a strong sense of self...that I could handle whatever happens...etc...<p>Anyway, that day when we had lunch...he touched me deeply... this man was pretty incredible and devoted to me... a wall had been broken some....<p>THEN.... a good friend called me the next day and HAD to have lunch with me...and told me a rumor was going around about us being separated.... hmmm, now NO ONE knew that we had gone thru that.... and she was worried and wanted to 'nip it in the bud'.... it touched me that she was that worried about us...she and I started to cry...<p>AND THEN...the most amazing part of this.... the next nite,I had a dream... it was awful and very scary.... I dreamed there were 2 paths... in one path was EVIL, seperation, divorce, unhappy children, destruction and pain...in the other path, there was GOOD, God, my husband, my kids, my family, happiness... and it hit me why God had never lead me to where I should go.......because He wanted me to choose..for once in my life He didnt want me to just go about my life and see what happens...or to be wishy washy.......HE said..... CHOOSE your path. Sooooooooo, I've chosen... I choose God, I choose my H, I choose my family, I choose happiness...<p>I have been soooo at peace these days.... and my H and I have had a wonderful relationship... ummm, the sex has not quite returned, but he is not pressuring me and thats wonderful and accepting to me...it needs to happen in its own time...but the tenderness has returned..and the love is growing...<p>I have had this sense of togetherness that I havent felt in years...that the two of us were together in this world...along with our kids.......and that together we are stronger than when we were pulling each other apart....<p>Anyway, I wanted to share this with yall.....and hope it helps someone in some way.... <p>Love and Peace....

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ConfusedMom:
<strong>Something amazing happened.... he said he had been in alot of deep prayer and had prayed alot for God to open my heart back up to him... AND he said he realized....that what God wanted him to do was to quit being selfish.....and to do whatever it takes to fight for our marriage..and for us... ALSO, during those prayers......... he forgave himself for all the wrong things he had done in our marriage.......and he forgave me for all that I had done.....even the A.<p>He wanted me to choose.. I've chosen... I choose God, I choose my H, I choose my family, I choose happiness...
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Wow, C'Mom. Thanks for this post! It touched me in so many ways! My WH is still "out there" and I pray for him A LOT! I have prayed and forgiven MYSELF, and asked HIM to forgive me for my part in our break-down. However, right now, he's far from the Lord, so I am "holding him up" as best as I can. And fighting for my M as best as I can.<p>He needs to return to the Lord, but right now, he believes he can continue to RUN away from the Lord, and he can escape any "punishment" for his sin from adultery. WRONG! As long as he continues in his sin, he will NOT have any umbrella of peace, any covering, or any blessings from God. He, of course, doesn't care, since he feels he doesn't deserve it anyway, after "what he did!"<p>I KNOW God hears and answers prayer, and it lifted me up to read your story, and see the tremendous way God worked in both of your hearts to heal your M. Thank you again for posting it. It gives me hope for our future. Our God is so good!<p>God Bless,

ConfusedMom, it is soooooo good to hear a sucess story. You both sound like you have God in the center of the repairs. That really makes a difference. I fear in my situation that I have nothing going for repair...my H does not rely on God, he drinks and now the OW. He wants to work on things but I do not know how he could without any help.<p>God is such a true source of power. I had the elders of my church pray for me last week for emotional healing cause the pain was so unbearable and I am amazed at how God has answered. I have had the most pain-free week of my entire life. I am able to rest in the fact the future lies in the hands of God and my H doing his part right now. I have done all that I can so I want to REST><p>Keep working on things God's way. He is leading in the best of the best.....It will not be trouble-free but it will be satisfying and enriching to love and be loved.<p>TW