Please - some input needed-<p>Our oldest son (20) is going to visit his father out of state soon where he had also gone to college for a while.<p>Here's the dilema. Before Dday my son spent time with WH & OW1 who is a friend since HS. Our son really likes this person and in the past he visits her & her kids (she's a widow). <p>Now son knows there are severe problems in our M, that his dad is CRAZY & as he put it " I know Dad is doing something you dont like while out of state" I agreed with him but not specifics.<p>Should I tell him about A (PA & EA) ?????????
I think he would be upset if I didn't. He will be very angry with his dad. (he already is says he does act like a Dad, never calls, never shows he cares.......you all know the routine) Should I tell WH that i'm going to do this? <p>Thank you in advance for your help!!!!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Well from personal experience I would say... tell him, but do not try to be too heated, the last thing you want is WS to go crying that you have put his kids against him.<p>Maybe just tell your S about it, tell him to please not freak out at his dad, afterall his father is a grown up, and if he is doing this he might as well be man enough to spit it out on his own.<p>My father had his very own EMA, and to this day I wish my mom had told me before things imploded and I had to catch chairs, plates and mugs on midair to stop people from getting hurt.<p>When I learnt I told my father I was so very disappointed and that since that moment on I had lost all the respect I ever had for him. Nevertheless that really really hit him hard in the head.<p>To this day I still have no real pride or respect for him, he never actually admitted to it to me or my brother, and there is nothing I despise more than a coward who hides behind everybody.

Almostwife,<p>I'm sorry that you were afected by your Dad's A. That must have really hurt.<p>I have the utmost respect for my Dad. Several years ago when I found out about WH first (that I knew of ) A., It told my Dad & he flew down to be with me. He told me that he never cheated on my mom. I want a man like that.<p>Question - I wasn't sure about your reply - just tell son or tell WH first?
WH claims PA is over & doens't think anything is wrong with what he's doing now (EA) [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Just tell your son the truth, the whole truth. If your WH says PA is over tell your son his father says PA is over etc etc.<p>On how to deal with your WH about it, I'd let him tell his own son. What is more amazing about these men is that they like to claim eternal love for everybody and not want to face any consecuences, like what they are doing is perfectly natural and normal.

Alostwife-<p>One more question for clarification-<p>Should I tell his dad first that son need to know?<p>Son is ready to confront him (again - did so at Thanksgivng)<p>This past week end was when Wh admitted to A's (not on his prompting)<p>Thanks for your response [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]