First of all, thank you to everyone who encouraged me to go and face this head on. I needed the push and you all gave it to me but believe me I had you all right there with me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I told H i would go to the dinner party with him and he said he would pick me up at 6. I changed my hair, clothes, makeup and shoes about 6 times and ended up in a gray sweater and black pants with a black jacket. H arrived and I saw he matched me, also in a gray sweater and black pants and jacket. We both laughed about it. I was a nervous wreck all day and I was not looking forward to this dinner. I told my H I had some ground rules. !. Mingle all you like but not with OW. 2. Do not leave me alone at the table and disappear. 3. Do not make me sit near OW. He agreed.<p>We arrived and his boss and boss's wife were the only ones there. We ordered drinks and sat down as everyone slowly drifted in. OW and her H were the last to arrive. They walked in and she looked at me and smiled. I didn't even acknowledge her presence. We ended up seated at opposite sides of the table and I had a direct view of her and her H. My H totally ignored her during dinner. She left the table several times throughout dinner with stupid excuses and I think she thought he would follow her but he never budged from my side. Everyone was having dessert when all of a sudden OW stands up, bursts into tears and runs from the room. Her H just sat there looking sad. Two of her little girlfriends followed her but returned to the table without her. I didn't even blink at all of this (at least not on the outside). People started to leave and H and I got our coats and said our goodbyes and OW still hadn't come back. <p>We left to come home and she was still locked in the bathroom and I felt better than I have felt since finding that first card 8 months ago. So you all were right. I faced it and her head on and I won! Thanks again to each of you who helped me with this. I could never have done it without your support and encouragement. Many huge hugs and much gratitude [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I am just a lurker on your post ... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ... as Bible says ... DO NOT BE AFRAID !!!.

Hi Tiny WOW what courage that must have taken to go to that dinner you must have been in utter turmoil when you walked in.
But what a wonderful outcome, you and your H together and him not leaving your side was just to much for the OW.<p>Im so glad you went it must have done wonders for your self confidance.
You were so strong, and OW buckled, i feel a bit sorry for her H, he must have felt pain,
What a strong person you have become way to go girl.
Liz

Well done, TD! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Yay! Always better to act with confidence even when you are scared to death!<p>And I have to say - good for your husband to publically show his support of you! I hope you told him how happy, appreciative and proud you were of his actions!

TD-
I haven't posted to you before, but have followed some of your posts. I am so happy to hear how your dinner went!! It was very difficult to come to that decision but guess what? Now they should get easier for you. Because there will be more! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]
GREAT JOB!!!! You can be very proud of your H, it seems like he handled himself very well. And YOU?!!? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I am very happy for you and I hope you are allowing yourself to feel the well deserved pride at what you have done! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hello Tiny,
Great job!!!!!!!!!
Stay on the high road. Keep using MB.
Aloha, cl

Tiny,<p>Wow, you're my hero. You went and were one classy lady. My bet is that you won a zillion love bank points with you H. It took a lot of strength for you do that that. Like I said, I’m not sure I could have done it. But with your example ….<p>Do expect that OW might have some lash out. At best she will quit her job now. Continue to be strong no matter what.

You showed class and composure and what you are really made of! Top notch! Way to go.<p>[ February 24, 2002: Message edited by: Alberta ]</p>

Thanks everyone. Like I said I could never have done it without the support I got here [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>H and I had a long talk this morning and he told me he knew how hard it must have been for me and he thanked me for going and behaving myself - no scenes lol. He told me he loves me and wants to work harder at recovering from this mess. I hope he continues to see that it takes 2 to break a marriage and it takes 2 to fix it, <p>I like zorweb's idea of OW quitting her job. That would make me more than happy and I'm sure it would make her H happy too. I also felt sorry for him last night. He seems like such a nice man and he was totally humiliated by her actions. I wish I could help him but I don't suppose that's possible. I have considered mailing him a copy of SAA with no return address but that may do more harm than good.

TinyDancer,
<strong> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I have considered mailing him a copy of SAA with no return address but that may do more harm than good.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I differ your point, follow your heart and send him one. Her H propbably in the same stage as we all are when we found A .... we are all trying to breath and grasping for answers. Your SAA will provide the answer.

Oh man, I just love hearing stories like this! There is justice in the world sometimes, isn't there? Very proud of you, TD!!!

dear TD-you go girl!!!!!!! i understand how hard that was. i will be faced with the same situation myself. ow still works for company. hopefully she will leave too. i hope when its my turn i have the same courage as you. you give me strength. thank you!!!!!!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
MAX

Tiny,<p>I agree with the idea of sending him a copy of SAA with no return address. The man needs some support and guidance. This will give him what he needs but not put you in the middle of it.

<p>[ February 25, 2002: Message edited by: sadprincess ]</p>

Tiny!!
You were the mouse that roared (quietly).
One step for you a giant leap for all BS.