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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Now that I'm agreeable, H seems comfortable, agreeable, respectful??

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Now that I'm agreeable, H seems comfortable, agreeable, respectful?? #981265 03/01/02 03:24 PM
Joined: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,465 Canada T Terrified Member
Terrified Member T Joined: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,465 Canada	I'm backing off. I'm telling him to go "home" (using that word is now something I accept), doing things on my own and pretending to feel comfortable with that...H starts to act comfortable, a little like his former self BUT not committing to working on the marriage AT ALL. Still refers to leafing through pictures as a "torture" I put myself through...<p>Is that is normal process?

Re: Now that I'm agreeable, H seems comfortable, agreeable, respectful?? #981266 03/01/02 03:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2002 Posts: 949 I I LuvNprotect ME Member
I LuvNprotect ME Member I Joined: Jan 2002 Posts: 949	I think he is testing the waters to see if he is in fact free or trapped.<p>What/how does he know you are leafing through pictures. That could cause him to feel smothered. <p>IMHO, WS drop little suttle hints to see IF they can still have you IF they wanted. As long as they know they can, they feel smothered. I think initially when they sense that it is no longer their choice, maybe you don't want him, then they feel free, freer than they have in a long time. Exstatic, exited, whew, no responsibilities, to be a kid again, no wife, no kids, no duties....what joy what relief. <p> but as time goes on week after week, holiday after holiday and the boredom and lonelyness, and memories come, that is when they start to wonder and question if they have done the right thing - the length of time depends on the man and his selfishness.

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