Hey folks ~ just an attempt to bring the tone up a bit around here.<p>Here's the rules: on this thread you can NOT mention the WS, the BS or the OP. At ALL! This is a thread about YOU!<p>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <p>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<p>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<p>I'll start! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <hr></blockquote> I think I made 2 very important changes in myself. First, I began to keep my focus on myself - my attitudes, behaviors, reactions, needs, and my responsiblities. I also have made great strides in letting go of controlling behaviors. I no longer plan my own actions based on a desired outcome which means that I no longer dither indecisively out of fear of possible outcomes.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<hr></blockquote><p>Along the personal journey that I have been on, I discovered the Myers-Briggs Personality types. And after taking the tests, I came out as an INFP. Wow! After reading and reading about INFP characteristics, I found sooooooo much that described me! I had spent years beating myself up for "faults" that I considered undesirable - now only to find out that I was hardwired for many of those traits. Somehow, I had a "eureka" moment, and acceptance of myself clicked into place. I like that one of my hard-wired traits is that my main motivation in life is the pursuit of healthy relationships. I like that I am intelligent enough to sort out answers that work for me, from the rest of the answers out there floating around. I can be a good listener. I am artistic and creative. I am very good at showing others love. I like that I am good at making others comfortable around me - even as introverted as I am!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<hr></blockquote><p>My sig line says it all. No one can avoid pain in life. It happens to all of us. But we can choose to be miserable and victimized by the pain, or we can live by experiencing the pain, learning from the pain, accepting life on its terms, and getting on with life.

The most important things I learned while going through that hellish journey were:<p> Don't sweat the small stuff and pick your battles carefully! After the magnitude of what I went through almost nothing seems worth an argument anymore. <p> I never take anything for granted anymore. I'm thankful for every wonderful day I have with my husband and kids, even if everyone has a cold and I've spent my day doing laundry and scrubbing floors.<p> My H and I BOTH learned to truly cherish each other and actively nurture our marriage every day.<p> I learned that I have a lot more strength than I ever realized I did. Plan A is hard!

I'll play! Thanks BR! I think it would great if everyone would play. This could sorta be an update on everyone's personal recovery, all in one thread.<p>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <p>There's many things I have changed, and still working on.
1. My own self-discipline (making my bed up every morning [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] , exercising, eating healthier, losing weight, watching less TV and reading more, watching my spending, etc.)
2. Judging others less. Accepting them for who they are. Appreciating them for their talents. Seeing good in everyone.
3. Believing in others, but not counting on them.
4. Relying on my own talents, and God's promises, for my happiness - not other people! Especially my husband.<p>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<p>I'm a good listener.
I'm a good problem-solver.
I can see the positive in most situations.
I care about other people.<p>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<p>1. I am responsible TO people, but not FOR them.
2. PATIENCE.
3. No matter how big a mountain stands in our way, we can climb over it, dig through it, or go around it.<p>"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and
are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will
be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how
to fly." -- Barbara J. Winter<p>[ March 06, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A?</strong><hr></blockquote>
I make God be the center of my life again and follow His will. With His grace and forgiveness, I am over coming many sins and have peace in my heart.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?</strong><hr></blockquote>
I realized that one of my top is conversational and also I found out that I like conseling ... even before this mess people brings problem to me !. I will learn, learn, and learn to make the best use of my gifts. Whatever the outcome of my M, after I sort it out, I will join lay conseling group in my church.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?</strong><hr></blockquote>
We have to learn the truth and speak the truth to ourself, by then we learn our weakness and be able to correct it. I am recovering from porn addict (viewing materials and follow by action that I was batteling since teenager [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] ). Learn the truth you will find wisdom [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .

Thanks BR!!! I like this idea a lot!!! Here it goes...<p>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <p>I actually stop to think about how my reactions or words will affect others before I do or say something. Sometimes that means saying or doing nothing at all, but I have not hurt anyone that way. <p>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<p>Right now I am most pleased with all of the weight that I have lost. I have lost over 80 pounds and I like to shop for cute clothes now. I really feel good about the way I am starting to look. I had a friend ask me once if I would rather be smart or pretty. At the time my response was smart because looks can go, but now I realize I want both. <p>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<p>You can not control others!!! <p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks for the replies...<p>hmmm...so....who else out there is working plan A?

I'll give it a shot.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <hr></blockquote><p>I would have to say the most important changes I have made in myself are:<p>1. I want my yes to be yes and my no be no. I can say no, and stick by it, without fear of having to please others;<p>2. I have seen first hand the faithfulness of my Lord and I want to listen to His will for my life; <p>3. I have realized that giving to another must come w/o conditions, or else it is not a gift, it is a contractual arrangement.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself? <hr></blockquote><p>That is a tough one. There is still alot I dislike about myself, but I will try to be positive. I have committed to better eating habits and regular exercise. I have committed to financial responsibility. I have opened up alot and now talk to strangers, cashiers, waiters, etc. I try to be sort of a shining light instead of a closed book. <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A? <hr></blockquote><p>I cannot control my wife's behavior. She is going to do what she wants to do. And I have to accept that. And, ultimately, if I find it is not what I want, I may have to walk away.

The most important change I've made in myself since unwittingly starting Plan A is ending LBs. I am better at weighing my words BEFORE opening my mouth. And I have cultivated a patience I never dreamed possible. Had a lot of help here from you all with that. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>What I like most about myself is my ability to help people feel at ease and open up to me, my ability to be an instant friend. I look for the good in people and genuinely like most people I meet.<p>The most important "life lesson" I've learned since starting Plan A is to take life one day at a time and sometimes even one moment at a time and the blessing of embracing the truth of the Serenity Prayer and letting go and letting God.

Good question, needed question<p>however I am not good at these, especially this wk, <p>what I have learned in 3 yrs<p> I am stronger than I think<p>that I can survive anything<p>unlike a lot of you I lost most of my faith but I hope I can rebuild it<p>time does make things better

bumping up for more replies... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Bump ^^^

<cough><cough><nudge><p>You can't bump it without answering Jo!!!<p><blink><p>Share your Plan A successes about yourself with us deary!

What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A?<p>I am more laid back, am not so up tight about life......I take it one day at a time.......I have more patience.......I don't get up set with my kids and yell at them........<p>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<p>I am a postive person...........I look for the good in people...........I don't allow negative things to bring me down.........I look for the Lord in everything in my life now.......I smile more........<p>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<p>
The Lord will only give me what I can handle.........There are only a few things that are really bad in life.......most are just annoyances..........that I can overcome.........<p>
Good thread BR, I appreciate having to look at myself and I didn't mind what I was seeing!!<p>Dawn
[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A? <p>Not reacting negatively but working at responding as openly as possible so that the truth of the matter can be brought to the surface (not my truth but THE truth) <p>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<p>*I like the fact that I am faithful and steadfast. I work through things and find the best possible answers.<p>*I love myself when I am filled with the Spirit and God uses my strengths minimizing my weaknesses.<p>*I like that fact that I am obedient---it brings me peace in many situations. It gives me a clear conscience. <p>yes----I may be<p> viewed by some as a goody-two-shoes but it makes all kinds to make up a world. <p>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<p>That there is a Plan A and a Plan B....that I have choices. I am not a victim but if willing to take some risks, I can do things another way.<p>That was fun----good reflections<p>TW

I haven't ever strictly followed Plan A. However, I read the materials on the MB site last summer, and I have adopted some of the Plan A principles and I intend to use them for the rest of my life. I'd like to share the things that the Plan A principles have done for me:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important change that you have made in yourself since you started Plan A?<hr></blockquote>
I have become responsible for my own happiness. I no longer depend on anyone else to make me feel good, and I still find myself wearing a smile most of the time. I do lots of fun things, spend quality time with friends and family, and take time to reflect on the things I'm thankful for.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is it that you like the MOST about yourself?<hr></blockquote>
My self-esteem has improved tremendously. I'm proud of that, since everything I read tells me that my self-esteem should be at an all-time low right now. But taking responsibility for my own happiness, and succeeding has made me believe in myself like I haven't in years.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>What is the most important "life lesson" that you have learned since starting Plan A?<hr></blockquote>
Self-improvement is a never-ending process. I now realize how I had taken my relationship skills for granted. From now on, I will never stop seeking ways to be a better person, especially when it comes to listening, understanding, and supporting the ones that I love.<p>BR, I just wanted to say that I think your sig line is right on the money.<p>BP

c'mon everyone... be brave... humor us.... play along... set an example for lurkers or newbies... focus on the positive.... remind yourself how far you've come.... re-state your goals.... how ever you wanna look at it... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 08, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

Hey, I had network troble and it is taking me forever to catch up on the posts - so I am sorry it is taking me so long.<p>I love this new thread!<p>Most important changes (that stuck)
I lost 35 pounds.
I eliminated a lot of LB's in all of my relationships.
I think a lot more before I speak now.<p>Very important changes that I made for 6 mo but then lost a little ground that I am now making back up:
I recognized that this is impossible for me to control and gave it to God.
I stopped escaping my life by reading reams of fiction.<p>what I like about myself:
I am loyal. I am a great mom. I am learning to take care of myself.<p>most important life lessons that I have learned since starting Plan A:
I am responsible for my own happiness.
I cannot control other people's actions, but I can control my response to them.
God is real and He answers prayer.