All, specially Z & Orchid ...<p>I am threading a dangerous grey area. I have a questions and pls smack me on the head (Radical Honesty)if I did something bad. I am under ADD now and can think a bit clearer. This is the back ground:<p>I met OMW once and exchange information. Then phone calls. She gave me a lot of info. I thought initially most of it just to manipulate me to get my wife back so that she could get her husband back. I found out that, yes, she overrated it (as normal panic BS) but I beleive her, she could recite the details. I had send her to Orchid but she is hurting that anger goes even to Orchid !!!, sorry Orchid [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] ... but she says that at the end what Orchid said go through her head and acknowledged that Orchid is very compasionate actually [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . She calls me again today, but I already set the ground rule ... information only flows one way, don't ask me to do anything b/c I won't and I will tell her how to do plan A. Tommorow, I will ask SH if he wants to talk to her, I am willing to pay her conseling fee to talk to SH !!!.<p>I help her to list OM's complains and tell her to show change ... SF and reconcile w/ MIL! (OM is mama boy!). She undertood about "make it" safe for OM to come home (NO LB). Am I crazy ? or does paxil makes me like this ?. Why I am helping OM to rebuild his M ??????. Is this consider manipulations that will hinder recovery ?. I know this A will die and with this paxil I will be able to run a bit longer. I am running out of tears now I am runing out of anger. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

RH,<p>I was wondering what happened?!?!? Ok. Paxil is working and clearing your thought patterns. You are an advocate of prayer. You are also in a very volitale situation. <p>What you have going for you is this: You are a kind, generous and honest man. You have even shown care and compassion for someone who has tried to do cruel things to you for no reason. Now that person may be coming around and being better. Still be tread lightly. Pray for a calm heart and a clear mind. <p>Proceed with caution and if you still need that 3rd party, let me know. <p>Yes, the OM's W is filled with much hurt and pain. The sooner she can get support the better for her. We understand her position and feelings this means that if she comes to MB she can even get support. She will have to read up on the info here like the rest her recovery may be to help her become a better person for starters or at all but at least it is better than where she is now. <p>See MBers, many of you know this but for those who come here and think this is place is a waste of time?!?! They are wrong. It is only a waste if you don't learn or apply anything. <p>Me compassionate? Could be. I also could be mean, rude, cruel, angry and abusive. Remember that is how the OW in my case saw me. Do I have a split personality? Nope. Hm......... <p>Take Care,
L.

Hey RH,<p>How are you doing?!?!?<p>L.

Hi Orchard
Husband2You thought you might be able to advise me regarding boundaries. WS is in the house and I'm trying to Plan A but I have young daughters and he wants complete freedom in his downstairs digs to call OW whenever he likes and to travel and spend our money to see her and shower her with gifts etc. What a mess....some days I could just die. I think he's lost his mind and common sense. Thanks
Wintergal

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong>Hey RH,<p>How are you doing?!?!?<p>L.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I talked to SH on Friday, basically he told me to go to see lawyer to protect myself financially. There is a limit to how far you go to save your M. We talked a bit about taking her back after Dv ... according to my beleive and in the Bible, you can not do that. Actually I don't want to even if I have that option (I rather start fresh). However Steve said different thing but he couldn't find it in the Bible. He will find it for me. I told him too that if my WW filed I will let her, I am only hanging here b/c I made a promise to MIL and my 2 D. Now it is a waiting game ... OM waiting for my WW to file, my WW wants to make me do it ... however OM's own Dv is coming up ... hmmm, it will be very interesting.<p>I will be out of town 'till Tues. I might be online if I could find a phone line.<p>Thanks for checking -RH-

Hi redhat,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I told him too that if my WW filed I will let her, I am only hanging here b/c I made a promise to MIL and my 2 D. <hr></blockquote><p>Does this mean that her love bank with you has a negative balance? Is your love for her gone for certain? You have worked so hard to give WW every chance to do the right thing! You have a good heart. I am so sad to have you come to this point. I feel sorry for your WW. One day she will be in anguish over what she has done, but it will be too late. You and the girls will have made a new life without her. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Estes

RH, I can't advise you anything, because I don't know, but I will pray to all the gods for you, you are a good man.
Liz

Estes49,<p>Yes, my LB$ is nill. I don't hate her b/c I have my share on this too but her continues disrespect of M and lies make it impossible for me to maintain any balance. I give my best ... even I did told her that I know all the she did from OMW and "herpes" from OM, she still told me no and do not fix anything. I am basically taking away if those were the reasons of her not coming home, I do not want her to be hostage by it ... but it is not the case. As long as OM put hold on Dv and my WW doesn't file, I will hang on as long as I can.<p>Liz,
Thanks for the prayers, I need it.<p>All,
My WW pressuring OM to finalize Dv. But OM has second thought ... my WW will not put up with his lifestyle but OMW does and will. OMW goes to VC and get mix drinks and parfume and so on to get ready to welcome him home ... we'll see. It will be interesting weekend .... I counted that 6 month since D-day and MB is right on the money. A is getting too hot to handle.

redhat-i have no advice,just lotsa hugs, love, and prayers for you. i hope you are ok. ill be thinking of you.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by nikko:
<strong>redhat-i have no advice,just lotsa hugs, love, and prayers for you. i hope you are ok. ill be thinking of you.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Thanks nikko,
I am fine ... I am waiting the news from OMW. I pray that everthing go well for her. She understood well her plan A. I think so far so good otherwise she is calling me already. I will know by tommorow for sure. -RH-<p>[ March 18, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>