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What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988815 03/26/02 06:20 PM
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Dancer
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My WH has said that I abuse him. I'm totally dumbfounded as to why he thinks that. Ive asked what exactly he means is abuse and I dont really get an answer.

Dancer

<small>[ July 05, 2002, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: Dancer ]</small>
Re: What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988816 03/26/02 06:29 PM
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Encarta says - the physical or psychological maltreatment of a person or animal.<p>I guess maltreatment is in the eye of the receiver. If it feels wrong, it is wrong<p>Oh I need an edit geeze. I think your H is grasping at straws and looking for things. A third party (counselor) may be what's best right now.<p>[ March 26, 2002: Message edited by: TinyDancer ]</p>
Re: What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988817 03/26/02 07:48 PM
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TinyDancer:
Encarta says - the physical or psychological maltreatment of a person or animal.
<hr></blockquote><p>
MAL-treatment? How does that differ from mistreatment? Maybe we should look-up "Maltreatment" as well.<p>Jo
Re: What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988818 03/27/02 12:39 PM
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>MAL-treatment? How does that differ from mistreatment? Maybe we should look-up "Maltreatment" as well.<p>Jo</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
maltreatment - n : cruel or inhumane treatment
[syn: ill-treatment, ill-usage, abuse] <p>mistreatment - n : the practice of treating (someone or something) badly<p>Seems to be the same thing.<p>Dancer please don't allow your H to turn you into a wreck over his choice of words. He can say whatever he likes but you aren't responsible for his actions.
Re: What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988819 03/27/02 12:50 PM
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Dancer,
Do not let H put those on your head, you have to push back !. It is again an act of selfishness, trying to justify their action by put blame on you. You have to tell H that you don't get it and ask him to explain it ... if he can't you are fine. If he explained it to you then that might be LB to avoid.<p>If you suspect foul play, get legal help. You could get a lawyer as a legar conselor, ask as much as you can for an hourly fee.
Re: What exactly constitutes something being 'ABUSE'
#988820 03/28/02 01:12 AM
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Ranger Bob Offline
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Dancer - I'm normally lurking on the EN board but saw your thread. I'm in the process of rereading Love Busters and I seem to recall that Dr. Harley referred to abuse as anything which is done to intentionally cause harm to the spouse. I interpret harm to cover emotional as well as physical.<p>I agree with redhat - make him provide you with detailed examples of what he considers to be abuse. When my DW sent me a rather visceral e-mail response to a legitimate concern about our D's emotional state a few weeks back, my C and I agreed that I should not initiate communication of this type with my DW. Since my C is also her C, I think he passed the message along to her since she hasn't done anything like that since.<p>If you and your H are in counseling, it may be something to bring up at your next session...

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