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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262 |
HI again just wondered what your thoughts are on this! tommorow nite(sat) there is a big party in out local village for 4 members of a family (mutual friends of ours & huge drinkers so should b a good nite!)all celebrating birthdays. My dilema is should I go?? my H will be there acting his usual self like there is nothing wrong with the fact that he has decided that he now wants a life on his own after 27yrs of being married to me his friend is more important than his marriage (all the village will know about this by then as people were told a few days ago & ya know how word spreads in a small place.<p>My problem is that i really don't feel like going but at the same time think i should get on my glad rags & go. I know it will be very hard & the last thing i want 2 do is end up a blubbering mess. Your thoughts on this would b very much appreciated.... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] What is a girl to do???
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
For a second I was confused. I'm not usually on this board but, tonight, I was checking it out. And yesterday I got an invitation to a dinner dance being called the "Bulldozer Ball" because it is being held at a construction site. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Since you want to know what cinderella should do, let's talk.....<p>H will be there? With OW?<p>If so, you might feel too much anger to enjoy the event?<p>Do you have a female friend you could go with? One that would understand if you felt the need to leave early? <p>If you're having marriage difficulties and don't want to be around so many people who have just found out, you don't have to go.<p>What about going with a friend but having plans to just be there for a while - unless you can handle more - and then leaving to go take in a movie? You can always stay later if you wish. Or you can leave early for that movie. <p>If you go, don't drink and drive.<p>[ April 12, 2002: Message edited by: cinderella ]</p>
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262 |
Hi cinderella! Well the fact of the matter is that just my H will be there (I think) this OW he swears is just a friend but why give up ya marriage based on the fact that you had an affair 11yrs ago & now you want to have a friendship that your wife is uneasy with for obvious reasons (they horseride 2gether but not so much since i made my feelings on the issue known) & for speaking out in this way I have paid the price of my marriage because I dont "trust" him. I love this guy to bits & have to stay in the house with him until our farm changes hands in june. All the people at this gathering are friends of ours (tis a small village with about 250 people) & most of the village will be there. (incidentally she has just seperated from her H as well but they are still living in the same house........ [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,303
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,303 |
Hmmm... well if you think it would be more torture for you rather than fun, don't go! You could always send a nice card or gift(s) to the birthday people. If they know your situation, I'm sure they will understand. The last thing you want to do is fall apart at the birthday party! I don't believe your H could be all that happy he's breaking up his family after all these years. Don't let yourself be fooled by his act.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262 |
Thanx for your comments: If I don't go wouldn't it be seen by my H that I am too weak & wimpy to show myself in public???
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145 |
I think I'd probably go. I'd fix myself up to look fabulous, then go to that party with an elegant smile on my face and my head held high. You don't have to stay all night, and when you start to feel overwhelmed or if the strain gets to be too much, just sweetly say your goodbyes to hosts and elegantly walk out the same way you walked in. <p>You're a survivor, and that's something to be proud of. Don't let them take this party away from you IF it's something you want to do! <p>Just my thoughts, anyway.....<p>at peace
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 635
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 635 |
Yep, yep! I have to agree with at peace 100%. Hold your head up and let him drool over what he's missing! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Good luck to you, and try to enjoy the party for you! Take care.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 262 |
I have decided that I am off to the party! yee ha this gal isn't going to let a little seperation! get in the way of enjoying herself! Did you see my other thread about sitting H down for a talk??? would love some feedback on this. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,303
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,303 |
Okay then, make sure you have a rip-roaring good time! If it gets to be too much, you can always leave! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
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