It has been a long 5 months. Several times I thought I was living in San Francisco with all the fog around. However, this morning started bright and sunny. My WS told me he was moving into his own apt. The OW needs her space. It seems that she hasn't been around my sons for over 1 1/2 mths. WS has also gone away for the weekend for two weeks in a row. WS has asked for some furniture from around the house. I know that he will need more than just furniture, i.e. sheet,pot/pans,etc. Need opinions on how much do you give? Don't think I want to make him too comfortable. He has not said that he is giving up OW, but I want to be nice and loving. Do you give the bare necessities or more?

dear schurt-its been a long time. i dont have any answers for you on splitting the stuff. do whats in your heart.<p>how are you doing. whats up with you??

SCHURT,<p>Long time no see - How are you doing? I mean really doing?<p>My Wh left, before I found out about A's & didn't take anything with him except his stuff. He is staying in furnished place but before that was with a friend & his family.<p>I tend to agree do what is in your heart, and in your pocketbook.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks for your input Nikko and Willgetthruthis. I guess I see this as a break through. He just knew that this A would be permanent. Oh, well. Only those truly in love can put up with their habits. But,atleast I have as much as a chance as she does now. He will have his own place and I have his kids. I hope that I can drop by and talk and she will not take all of his time now. <p>I have had to put the breaks on things because I would give him anything in the house to make him happy. "Only fools fall in love..." By lunchtime today, I had his whole apartment decorated in stuff from the house and he doesn't even have it yet. That's scary.

Dear Schurt,<p>I am sorry for this further pain. For me, when the WS moved out, I did not give him anything. He was going to be a 'big boy' on his own. Of course he was welcomed to take whatever was solely his. So he tried to take it but he didn't. <p>Now I did concede to letting him take his dresser, 1 bookcase an older futon. Other than that his clothes and computer were all he took. I did not provide any bedding or bath accessories. He went shopping by himself and when he came home I have set those items aside and will not use them. One of his towels I have used for rags (he did not buy a good quality towel so it was easy to throw it in the rag bin). LOL!!! His pillow and blanket are going to be given to good will. I will not allow any of that in our home to be used. <p>JMHO,
L.

Thanks for words Orchid. I guess I am also feeling a little selfish. Why should I give up the good stuff? I didn't cause this problem. I guess I just can't stand to think of her using my stuff. It's bad enough that he will be sleeping in my childhood bed. Much less her? <p>I'm still holding out hope.

When my WS left, he took only what he could carry in his duffel bag. Of course, unbeknownst to me he had already leased an apt and had started to furnish it with 2nd hand stuff. The only nice furniture he bought was a bedroom suite that was on a clearance sale, everything else came from Walmart or Zellers. When he came back home we just incorporated his stuff into our stuff, OW had never even been to his apt so I didn't feel bad about any of it. Our DD moved into her own apt afterwards and took a bunch of the stuff we weren't using. His living in a crummy cramped apt with 2nd hand stuff after having lived in our fairly big home was definitely a change, one he didn't like! Personally, I thought it was a very good experience for him, he found that fantasyland wasn't always a wonderful place! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: luvmydogs2 ]</p>