Lose it over anything, I mean emotionally. I start crying and cant't stop. I begin to shake and can't breath.<p>H is unbelievable, he nows that I feel very unstable. A is over he knows this and knows that it was not my choice.<p>I tried to end it all a few weeks ago and feel to that point again. H called doctor and will go together tomarrow.<p>Can't explain how at moments all seems to be clearing and the most meaningless things make me break down. I have never had this happen before in my life.<p>Is this normal!

Kirpy,<p>Go read your earlier post. The last one of the messages has a "chronicles" by SKM. Read them. Read her most recent posts under SKM2 in recovery.
She was where you are now, wanting to do something very rash. She tried and failed and is now so glad she did.<p>Please read and then let your H help you. He needs you more than your realize. Just ask him.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

Is it normal to experience withdrawl, grief, pain?? Yes...but I wouldn't say to the extent you are feeling it. I would say some antidepressants would be in order!<p>What would you say is the main reason for your distress right now?<p>I hope your doctor can help!!! Take care and keep posting...there's tons of great advice from people who really understand here.

Thank you Just Learning and Hope for the future.<p>Went about 1 1/2 months ago to a psychologist..Didn't like it at all when I left I felt worse. Spent an hour and a half answering questions, he told me I should feel bad was abanded as a child and marriage not good...I would feel like **** too. Gave be a perscription and said good bye.<p>Why I feel the way I do....in the past 20 years I have moved 5 times, got pregnant, got married, seperated when first son was 9 months old (H said married me because was pregnant) came back had child no. 2. H lost job didn't work for 2 1/2 years. I worked 3 jobs took care of kids and H. Lost everything house, car ect. <p>H get new job, brother in law (50 yrs old moves in for 2 1/2 years) Now only have 2 jobs. H loses job again... end up in EA, admit affair, major problems with brother in law.. police ect. ect, and so much more in between...just feel like when will it get better.<p>I am sorry for running at the keyboard, but sometimes it helps to just get it all out. I am the one who does it all and always with a smile NO MATTER WHAT and I want the smile to be for real not to make everyone think it all ok.

Kirpy,<p>You have definitley been through a lot, and I guess we all have to some extent or another. After d-day #2 everyone, both family and friends found out and everything around me seemed to be crumbling. All I wanted to do was die. I even thought about doing something. The only thing that held me back was that at the time I was staying with a friend who just lost both her parents in a car accident 1 1/2 before. I did not want her to find me in any condition that would upset her further. I stuck it out, riding this rollercoaster, feeling good one day then bad the next couple days. Slowly things are getting better but with every two steps forward there is always one step back. I'm on 100mg a day of Zoloft and it has helped me very much. Sorry I can't offer you any other advice except to just come here and vent. Hang in there!<p>Brianna

Kirpy,<p>Here is your previous post please read the bookmarks. Kirpy's post <p>Hang in there.<p>God Bless,<p>JL