To those caring folks on the GQII board that have been keeping up with the ongoing saga of my life I just wanted to let you know that despite my best efforts, WH and I divorced on Tuesday.<p>He asked for it and got it. OW still isn't divorced from her H, but WH is now bringing her by the kids just like she was their mom all the time. WH is never without her and her kids. All of this against teh advice of the kid's social worker who says that the kids need time to grieve over the marriage ending, so OW is not supposed to be around. Of course WH's response to me about counselor's comments were that the kids would grieve if he took OW away from them for awhile - lets see.kids will grieve if OW leaves the picture, who has only been around for a few months, but kids will not grieve for loss of marriage and family and everything that they've known for their entire lives..... I just love that fog thinking.<p>Anyway, I'm trying to find a way to stay home with my now 9 1/2 week old for as long as I can instead of immediately going back to work - funny, WH will pay for day care and extended care, but not for the children's mother to stay home and take care of the children.<p>WH seemed to really start the relationship with OW on D-day and has not looked back. I am now reading Joint Custody With A Jerk, and trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with this lying control freak that used to be my H.<p>I still see tremendous merit in the MB principles because my WH still wants to blame me for making him so unhappy that he was forced to leave me, so a really good Plan A and no LB's did take the wind out of his sails for awhile, but unless the affairs dies it's natural death, there is really nothing you can do but work on yourself.<p>His A is now starting to see some reality - 6 kids - marriage etc., but it just kills me that the WH HAS TO DESTROY EVERYTHING before they wake up. <p>Oh well.<p>I'm not leaving the board yet. I just wanted to give a quick update. K

Sorry--- [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care of yourself and your baby....<p>E

HUGS!<p>and prayers.<p>Cali

My heart goes out to you & your children, who are badly affected by this sort of thing at any age. Our two boys are 25 & 27 & they are devastated about their father & I seperating, they say they just feel so helpless & of course are worried sick about their mum. While dad rides off into the sunset saying there isn't anyone else (he does have a female friend & had an affair 11yrs ago & this female friend has caused problems for me)but after 27yrs there has always been something "missing" in our marriage. I have been with this guy who is now acting like a stranger since i was 15yrs old & am now 44 he is going off with a business that we set up together a yr ago (with me not knowing that he had been thinking this way for 2 yrs) Me well I gave up my hairdressing career to be with him "for life" & never finished my training so i have nothing to walk away with, yip i will get money from the settlement but I have nowhere to go no job etc etc.
What we all have to do in our different situations is take care of ourselves & our familys & hope that one day they will see the light!
Keep working on yourself it won't be long before the "honeymoon period wears off for your WH & when reality kicks in he will wonder what the hell he's done.
I really feel for you big hugs from me (((((ELAD))))))

Hi GIIC,<p>I don't know why they have to destroy everything in order to learn that the grass ISN'T greener. It's only greener where you water it.<p>It's a hard lesson for them, and sometimes it takes time.<p>I know alot of us Plan A for life and in every aspect of our lives, regardless if we divorce or not. So keep working on you, and treat yourself to something special ... you so much deserve it. I know how it feels when first Divorced, feel somewhat disconnected. Just take one day at a time, don't push yourself. <p>You and your children are in my prayers. Take good care of that young one, Honey.<p>Lv,
Jo<p>[ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

My thoughts and prayers are definately with you.<p>Hang in there. I dont know what it feels like but I'd love to be here to hear how youre going each step of the way. <p>I went thru a prgnancy and birth om my own too, although H was at birth physically, so I can feel the lonliness you feel. I'm still separated, but plan Aing and getting on with my life with a gorgeous little boy. How has the past few months been with your little one? I'd love to hear how youve managed and what milestones youve reached.<p>Keep us updated.<p>Dancer

GIIC,<p>What can anyone say? It's not fair. You don't deserve it. I think the worst part would be having your children around OW. But YOU chose to remain strong and take the right course of action. Your H on the other hand......<p>Wishing you a steady recovery,
Estes