IWRA-

You and I had talked in the past about confessing to your H. I'm hoping that your time here on MB has helped you to understand why it's so critical that you do this, NOW.

You've put it off long enough friend...and I'm guessing that it's most likely due to fear. You're afraid of how he's going to react...what's going to happen when he knows the truth of the matter.

You need to understand that holding off will ONLY MAKE IT WORSE.

Read some of the posts here about BS's who have learned of the affair years, even decades later. They're STILL just as betrayed...just as agonized. Often even moreso in one respect...because now they realize that they've been living with a lie for YEARS.

Don't take off from MB without correcting this in your own situation. As I said on the other thread...you're NOT in any form of recovery until you've taken this first step. You're in NC...but your marriage is NOT moving towards recovery until your H is aware of what happened, and you both agree to move forward with recovery. Right now, your H is living in shadows...he can't see the REAL state of your marriage.

You know this...you've learned it here on MB. So now, before you and I leave this site...tell me what your plan is to correct this?

IWRA, I have never posted to you but this post by OWL has compelled me to. My H did not know of my A for about 9 years. It ate me alive. It killed any chance of true intimacy in our M. How could I ever be open with him when I had to protect this HUGE secret? Shortly after I came here about my H's A, I was exposed. Though it temporiarly pushed my H closer to the OW it was like breaking free of my own shackles. There is freedom in truth. I never could have embraced the principles here, never could have really worked hard on my personal growth and on my M if that secret had continued to fester like an open wound.

Try it. It will hurt momentarily but it will also bring you self respect.

Thanks, Owl and Faithful Follower for your encouragement and caring.

I had said on <mkeverydaycnt's thread> that I wouldn't be posting until after I confess to my husband about my email affair.
(But here I am posting but it is because of respect for both of you.)
(I said on this above thread, that I posted 4 times using the ID summersky.)

I promise to think and pray about how to tell my husband. After he knows, I will post, on this thread below of Cardsonly's, since that is where I first started posting.

This thread: <HELP! WITHDRAWING FROM PAINFUL ONLINE AFFAIR>

We had a safe place to post on that thread and Owl helped me IMMENSELY from a BH's perspective. 2BNormal, through personal emailing, gently guided and helped me (my gratitude is more than words can say) to do the right thing and to go NO CONTACT with OM.
THANK YOU 2B (Cards also) for your friendship and encouragement.

It was many months ago that OM & I agreed to no longer be a part of one another's lives and to stop ALL communication.

So until I tell my husband, this really WILL BE my last post. I will not be replying to any posts that may follow this one. (Owl, it was thoughtful of you to start this thread. Don't give up on me doing the the next step to recovery, ok?)

Thanks again to everyone, especially those that posted on the Cardsonly thread.

EVERYONE is valuable and important in their own special way.
(Including those just reading that haven't yet registered.)

IRWA...When you tell your husband, you will get nothing but support here...I am just amazed that you have been here since 3/2005 and have yet to tell him...PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING AND TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR AFFAIR...And don't try to minimize it, by saying it was only an email affair-BETRAYAL IS BETRAYAL...You focused much of your energy on OM while in contact...Energy that you stole from your husband...Much of my own affair was by email, because it was long distance...It is just as damaging...

When are you going to tell your husband?

Mrs. W

Well, she has a little more to come clean about and I doubt the story she told us as her IWRA alias is even close to the truth. I hope she comes clean with this board about other aliases that she has used over the years to attack me and/or defend other fogged out WS'. She has been trolling the board for several years under IWRA, SummerSky, SillyGirl04 and BlessedTime. There may even be more.

^^ same quote via both Sarie & IWRA^^


Greetings Sarie/Blessed time ... I guess you just cannot make up your mind whether or not you are willing to commit to telling your HUSBAND about your LONG_TERM affair (what is it now? 12 or 13 years?)

And the OM is now a happily married man? Or does he still sneak around with you behind his new wife's back?

radical honesty is not on your "to do" list I take it?

WAKE UP SARIE .... YOU CANNOT MARRIAGEBUILD WHILE YOU ARE STILL COMMITTED TO YOUR AFAIR AND DISHONEST TO YOUR HUSBAND

I wish you well, I wish you therapy!

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

OWL

you've been used and abused by this person

just so you know

Pep

You are KIDDING me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pep, could you please e-mail me at jenny_l789atYahoo.com. (on an unrelated to this thread subject)

Thanks very muchly.

it bounced back to me Jen

It's an L not an I. Try again with Jenny_L789@yahoo.com

2nd try sent

and received

Sarie, why did you change the screen name of SillyGirl04 to SillySillyGirl today?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...ge=5&topic=

We all must be vigilant about watching for more reincarnations of this sociopathic individual...She has professed to leave MB MANY times since 2003, and clearly has NOT...I suspect we will be treated to more manufactoring of her brand of high drama and the exploitation of the pain and suffering of others if we aren't very careful...This is truly SICK! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I feel very SAD right now.

2B...

I certainly hope that IWRA et al has played no part in your recent decision not to inform OMW...I suspect she may have had an impact there, and that is deeply troubling to me...I said as much to Mr. W when IWRA blew up the JJ situation herein...Yes, 2B, I thought of you then, and I was concerned about how you might be negatively impacted...Please search your soul about that, k? I think that she may have created an "us vs. them" environment for you...Misery loves company, remember? Please don't let someone like that prevent you from doing what your conscience has long been telling you is the right thing...Sounds corny, but "the truth will set you free"...

Best,

Mrs. W

MrsW - IWRA has no part in any decision I make....

She has given me permission to post her TRUTH as she cannot post it write now. She is babysitting her grandchildren and does not have her MB password with her...

The TRUTH TO FOLLOW>>>

She has been a busy girl today. She has changed some of her screen names: SillyGirl04 to SillySillyGirl, SummerSky to Summerskies. She went back and edited her Summersky posts to add "IWRA" to make it appear she wasn't trying to deceive anyone. She edited her post, too, but didn't notice that I had quoted her afterwards.

2BNormal, I am sorry you were deceived. She has been trolling this board for several years. Some of her first posts under Sarie are truly chilling. Under Blessedtime she was downright CRUEL to BobPure in his darkest moments because he criticised his WS for plotting to run off with the OM.

The "truth" according to Sarie/BlessedTime/SillyGirl04/SummerSky/IWRA. This should be very interesting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

2B, this woman doesn't know the meaning of the word truth.

I think she's a very sad, very lonely, bordering on pyscopathic individual. As Mel says, her posts as Sarie were chilling.

If you feel you want to post what she's written then you should, but please don't get caught up with her any more. I'm so sorry you've been so hurt.

The TRUTH: (the 2 friends she is referring to is me and cardsonly)

[color:"blue"]
I have TONS of stuff to tell you and to confess on MB.
I will confess later to MB..you two I am sure will not want to correspond with me
anymore but I have to come clean.

It is complicated. I want to tell you and I want to confess to MB
and clear my conscious...IT IS TIME.

But I am babysitting and probably can't do it til Monday.
Company is coming after church for xxx's birthday tomorrow.

I DID first start posting as Sarie.
I had an affair with a man that was dying..he weighed 100 when I met
him and helped care for him. (I was a Hospice volunteer.)
After he had a heart lung transplant he got a lot better and our friendship
grew and grew over a period of 10 YEARS.

Then he met an old classmate in Aug of 2003 and married her that following
summer....so of course the affair ended.

It was NOT a physical affair...he was on 16 medications and he could NOT
do that! It was 99.9 % a telephone affair. We talked about everything, religion
science we got along so good. He was lonely and I am the kind of person that
needs to feel needed. (I didn't have a computer then, he still doesn't.)

I remember once telling MB that I met with OM to say goodbye..that we met
at the river and had a 'wonderful time' ....they said UGH...they assumed it was
SEX but we sat on a big rock and watched Sycamore leaf float by.
I layed my head on his shoulder as he held me and we both cried.

It was so hard to say good bye but we HAD to since he had found someone else
PLUS I was married.

OH, I have so much to be truthful with you. I am not 50, I am 60!
I didn't think you would want to email with someone this much older than you,
but I am a YOUNG 60!

Our only son was killed in a car accident in 1984...I couldn't tell you because you
might connect me with Sarie....and our middle daugher's husband was killed in
a car accident 2 years ago leaving her with three little girls, ages 2 months to 5 years.
That is why we babysit so often...I have tears for my deceitfulness with my two friends.

But I posted this as BLESSED TIME so again, you might connect me.

Then in 04, I met XXX...he and my first OM were classmates. He wiill be 70 years
old this FALL!

I faked as Blessed Time as being a BS because I was treated so badly as Sarie
(I was SO defiant) that I wanted to be thought of highly on MB as a betrayead spouse.
Then at the end, before I stopped posting as Blessed Time, they were connecting that
I might be Sarie.

So really I have had 3 affairs...XXX in 1980 (he died in 1988) and then the LT affair
and then XXX, the online affair to help me get over the other affair!

XXX knows about the first two but not about XXX.

Oh God, I am SO SORRY.
I don't expect you forgive me, I surely don't deserve it.

What I am writing is 100% true! [/color]

The TRUTH TO FOLLOW>>>


Obviously, more lies. She's been busy amending her posts on MB all day....

"doesn't have her password with her"

Yea right...which one(s) is she missing.

Mr. W

I certainly hope not 2B...But I fear that you and countless others ARE casualities of her heartless games here...I see this situation as very macabre. I would strongly caution you and others against believing any "truths" that she asserts...

Mrs. W

MelodyLane, Kiwi and others...I really don't know what the truth is...this is what she wrote me and allowed me to post. I can't believe anything right now. I have been truthful in everything I write here and on emails. I guess I am too naive to believe people...I'm in tears right now because I feel so duped!

We better start making it a habit of quoting all her words for posterity. This weeks "truth" may yet change again next week under some new name.

IWRA...tell your husband.

Mr. W

The only truth there is that she indeed Sarie. The story fits Sarie's.

I can only say again, 2B, let her and it go.

My mouth is still dropped open from finding out she was BlessedTime as well.

It's a salutory lesson about the internet and one we should all take on board.

YES...IWRA...God can only help you!

How did you all figure this out? I guess you have been reading here long enough! I wasn't reading here when Sarie posted...at least I don't think so!

It's very sad. I really do hope and pray that she will be truthful to her husband.

This would explain why she is so invested in encouraging other waywards to NOT do things such as expose, etc, and why she rejects MB principles such as Harley's no contact letter as "cruel." She protects and casts as "victims" other WS's on this forum. It is because she has never come clean herself. This would explain why she ATTACKS other BS's for criticising cruel wayward behavior. By extension it is an indictment of HER because she is guilty.

I will never forget her abject cruelty to BobPure when he was in the absolute depths of despair. He was suicidal with despair and she called him out and bullied him for daring to come here and criticise his WS, who was venomous to Bob.

What she did to BobPure and others is unconscionable in its cruelty.

Now I understand why IWRA went hog wild when I referred to affair sex as "2 pigs rutting in the pig pen." When she was Sarie, she used to come here and gloat and romanticize her "beautiful, loving" affair. She went crazy when I told her that her stinking affair was about as "romantic" as 2 pigs getting it on in the pig pen.

**

Well, I caught her posting as SummerSky last week and I thought that was strange. [she has since gone back today and added the sig "IWRA" to those posts - they did not say IWRA before] When I looked up SS's posts, I found SillyGirl04 and knew immediately it was IWRA when I started reading.

There was some crossover in these posts from BlessedTime and I went back and read her posts. BT left when she was outed as Sarie. So I compared BT's posts to IWRA and found the same phrases, grammer, MO, and even the same thread titles. When I compared them, I knew immediately it was her.

But those are just the ones I have FOUND. I would not be surprised if there are more.

ML - You are a good detective. It would have been obvious to me had I read those posts earlier. I did a search after you posted these ID's and saw how obvious it was! Thus, I asked her to come clean about who she really is. I am so sorry that I opened myself to helping her. I was honest and for that, I was deceived and lied to. I don't know what is true. I only hope she repents of her ways and comes clean with God and her husband.

Here she is as Sarie telling us about her wonderful affair and what a "nice lady" she is: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post1132612

BobPure busts Sarie posting as BlessedTime: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=4&vc=1

She also deceived cardsonly.... I feel so betrayed.

2BNormal, thanks! I am so surprised I didn't see it sooner. I just don't expect that people are going to be deceitful so I wasn't looking for it myself until I caught her posting as SummerSky!

Summersky was obvious, but I didn't catch that until you pointed it out.

This sucks on so many levels. First, you have someone with an obvious agenda giving really destructive advice to folks in fragile condition. Second, her drama is taking up valuable time from folks who really need the advice from you veterans. Third, folks who came to her defense in recent threads are going to feel like total idiots, and are going to be less likely to offer their support or opinions, even if they have something useful to say.

Going back now to see if she posted any advice to me...

I'd suggest others do the same.

Now that sure is some crazzzzy azzz sh*t! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Dang,
wish I'd have known that earlier.
She sure would have been treated her a weeeeeee bit differently then she was. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Guess since she HAS to confess to her Hubby Before she posts again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />........we'll Never see "this" Identity Again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

So Owl,
you STILL gonna be so supportive of Her (and her positions) Now?
Just wondering.

2Be:
regardless of what you think of many on here,
I don't wish the hurt of being lied to and a level of betrayal on anyone Here.
I know this kind of thing really STINGS.

Truly,
hope you can package this feeling coming from someone that supported your Decisions to not tell the other BS .......and can Interpret that it Would be the Appropriate Action to take.

You may not LIKE some of the rest of us:
But for all our OTHER faults ......were not lying to you.
Please think about it.

This kind of deceit just pizzes me off. When I think all the crap IWRA started over Just Jilly's deal.

And like someone else mentioned, all the good intentioned folks who supported those bogus screen names and faux sitches. What an offensive fraud. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

This woman/man needs professional help.

CS, BO... IRWA... need anything more be said about these stooges! I think there are some people out there in MB land that really need to think about those that they were alligning themselves with...if BO, CS or IRWA was supporting your position... well, it might be time to take another look at where you stand. Just a thought.

Sarie/BlessedTime/IWRA has been here berating and harrassing BS' for years under several different aliases because she felt they weren't NICE enough to wayward spouses, all the while committing the cruelest acts of all. She has decieved her own husband for years and has deceived us for years. Additionally, she rarely missed an opportunity to exploit the weaknesses of foggy WS' to encourage them to do the wrong thing, while casting doubt on MB principles whereever she could.

To this day, I see RED FURY when I remember her hatefilled posts to BobPure to bully him for criticising his WS - his wife "wasn't here to defend herself" according to her - while he was suicidal with despair and grief at the recent discovery of his wife's affair.

She has learned NOTHING in the years she has been here. NOTHING. Instead she has begun a NEW AFFAIR all the while continuing to lie to her husband about the last one. All the while being ever so "helpful" to the newly arrived WW's and as condemning as possible to other BS'.

All the "nice words" and "kindness" that she harps endlessly about is nothing more than a sick, twisted ACT designed to cover up the flagrant cruelty and deceit that she practices in action.

She rails against others about being "kind," when she is anything but. "Kind," my [censored]. She is about as "kind" as a rattlesnake. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> As we say in Texas: TALK IS CHEAP! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

This post below distancing herself from Sarie is just delusional - Mr. W

***************************************

Blessed TIME
Member Reged: Dec 01 2003 Posts: 687

Re: Loving Affair [Re: Trix]
#2695709 - Tue Apr 26 2005 10:37 PM

Trix, I also typed Sarie and Blessed TIME in search to see what you all are talking about. There were 11 posts where I responded to her or about her.

I thought this was the one you meant:

Re: Blessed Time
#1176605 - 09/10/04 10:24 AM

Hi Karen.
Thanks for your Caring...you are always So considerate of others.

I am not coming to the message board very often anymore, half an hour every forenoon...Our marriage is on the right path and we are busy with life and grandkids.

The comment about me being Sarie did hurt my feelings, as we are entirely opposite in our life's situation....But, whatever, it is OK.

I have been feeling my advice isn't so good, I ALWAYS tend to be for the person getting attacked whether it be the WS or the BS.
Bob and I had a difference of opinion which is OK also.

So I feel it is best if I don't post very often...I have learned a LOT here and am trying hard to improve myself. I think the people at MB are the GREATEST ever!
Thanks again, Karen, I am fine.
Love, Julie [Smile]

Guilty as charged... atleast a few times anyway.

Always was too trusting and naive... I guess this hasn't changed.

Shaden

trust

"I don't trust ANYONE"

what an interesting thing for you to say

I trust many people
I trust many MB people
but, not all

Pep

While I believe that respect must be earned, trust, for me, must be DISearned (wait... is that a word??)

It's healthier to trust people... to believe they have good intentions.

Until someone proves to me otherwise, I trust them.

This has burned me on several occassions, but I would never change my position due to these incidents.

Being trusting brings more love and joy into your life. Being betrayed brings great sorrow, but with it great lessons.

I know this sounds hypocritical coming from a FWW, and I apologize if I offend.

I have learned...

KM

FYI

I'm prolly yer Moma's age

I give people the benifit of the doubt ... I offer conditional & temporary trust at first

the deeper trust comes later

my inner sanctum sanctorum

this is why the betrayul of infidelity hurts so much , it's a wound of the inner sanctum

and someone who claims to trust no one, has revealed their own vacant inner sanctum ... a most sad state I am sure !

Pep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ummmmmmm


2B ...your slip is showing.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


[b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pep

By not being a PHYSICAL affair, I meant we NEVER HAD SEX!

It WAS a EA/PA though.

liars lie

... besides ... I was talking to 2B not Sarie ... can you send her over?

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I find this particular quote incredibly offensive...Not only is it mocking and disrespectful to the true BSes here, but it is also a slap in the face to the REAL FWSes here that have earned their "Fs"...Sarie or whoever you are, if you want so badly to be thought highly of, then show ACTUAL CHARACTER befitting of such treatment...

The untold amount of harm that you have caused in your time here makes my blood run cold...

Mrs. W

2B~~~~~~~~~~~~

you slip is still showing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It was a passionate affair a PA

yes it was

no it was not

who says it was

I do

so do I

who are you?

I am you and you are me

>glug*gurgle*glug< .... sounds of someone drowning in lies

Pep...I really don't know why you are referring to me and my slipping??? All I posted was what IWRA emailed me.
I don't know what is TRUE or NOT TRUE in her email! I didn't even go and read those entire threads before posting her email! So tell me what you are saying, please.

And my statement about not trusting anyone right now...well that is HOW I felt at the MOMENT! Good grief! Talk about analyzing someone and picking apart what they say! I believed IWRA for months and believed she was telling me the truth about her life. Now, I find out it was ALL LIES! How do you think I felt at that moment???? Please give me a break OK?

I know just how you feel.

Pep

If the mods were 2 ban all login's from her IP address, I wonder how many of us would disappear?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

but I'm NOT Sarie! (and neither is Qfwfq).

And THAT's the TRUTH! Trust me!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

I'm melting, I'm melting...

BWHAAAAAAAAAAAA

**snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> and you know it wouldn't be me either, because I am not "kind" enough. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I'm nekkid & no one's looking <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mel:

You are most definitely "kind", just not "nice".

And I like you that way!

-ol' 2long

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> thankee, 2Long! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ain't THAT the truth!

I'm lookin', and if I see anything that I don't have, I'm gonna shoot it too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I'M SPARTACUS!

NO! I'M SPARTACUS!