Originally Posted by kstockett
what affair? He's been out of it for 2.5 years. As I said, I exposed far and wide.
I just need help deciding if what he is offering is enough for me. I've been in limbo for 2.5 years because it obviously hasn't been and I need to make a decision for my own emotional health and well-being.
If I leave it's not going to be with him. He has known about my struggle for two years and has chosen not to do anything. So I will chose not to be with someone who doens't make their marriage their first priority.
He has made his decision. It's now time for my countermove. It's like a freaking chess game and there is no room for that in a marriage.

Moving away is a win/win for you. You will win either way. If he follow you that is a win beucase you can get him away from the OW and the triggers and truly recover your marriage. Moving is amazingly therapeutic!

And if he doesn't follow you, you will end up completely detached from and in a better position to walk away and divorce him. That is a WIN if he will not get on board to sea your marriage.

What is a LOSS is to stay there in limbo and allow yourself to get worn down more and more as time goes on. That is a losing proposition.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101