Hi All

My brother has agreed to be the 3rd IM for me! Brilliant. I give it a week

I had a really good but strange day yesterday.

BF best friend is managing the various building projects on the house. He came over yesterday and offered to steam clean the pool area for me. He stayed for ages asking me lots of questions, but I kept my answers very brief. He asked if I was coping and I said I am doing great thank you. I am not sure if he was snooping or genuinely concerned. Anyway, i am definetly getting the vibe that BF best friend has the hots for me?? I am not sure but something does not feel right?

Then, my best friend came over yesterday to see me. I can honestly say it was the best tonic EVER. We got glammed up and decided to go out for dinner then dancing. We had such fun. I got approached by so many guys coming over to chat or asking to buy me a drink. I must have had a glow on or something I do not know whats going on I certainly wasn't looking at guys or flirting?! It was so bizarre. Anyway this really really handsome guy started chatting to me and then asked me out on a date but I said no thanks. ARGHHHH, i really wanted to say yes! How bad is that?! He was really softly spoken, polite and so handsome. Then I had a dream that I fell in love with a really quiet man and we were going everywhere and it was amazing.

Its really opened my eyes up to my relationship even more. I just keep thinking how awful BF treated me. I have never really told anyone how awful it was because when you are in the situation you don't realise how bad it is. I read out an old email that BF had sent me about a year ago which was having a go at me about various stuff, and after I read it my best friend started to cry and said CoolB why did you never say anything? WOW. that was a moment. It seemed nothing to me as thats how he was with me. The email was about how i went out too many nights out, how I had hated him for 7 years, how he felt that I owned the house and took over, that I dressed too sexy for work, too much gym and going on corporate lunches with male colleagues. I hardly ever saw my friends, maybe one girls night every 6 weeks or something???

I also put a really great photo of me and my friend out in a bar on instagram stories and he was the first to check it, I thought good. I guess that was a breach of Plan B?!

Anyway I definetly have had an ego boost!!!