I remember you telling me Living_Well about protecting my love bank and getting out last summer. I know what you mean now, I couldn't understand at the time because I felt so in love with him. Its just now I am really starting to think more calmly, I am sleeping well and I am functioning quite well without him. I am really coming to my senses. Its making me look at the situation differently. Its like I am really losing respect for him. How could I fall in love with someone who is capable of such actions? I am older and wiser and want better for my children.

I am not sure what it would take for me to have him back? After all the cold shoulder treatment of doing the exact opposite of whatever I said I wanted is just cruel. Its weird its not like he even wanted out, its just he enjoyed punishing me, maybe for rejecting him all those years ago when I had the young babies and rejected him in some sort of way. I am not sure I have any space in my heart for someone who could do that.

I have done so much reading here of people like Mimi, Queenie and Mortarman and oh its hard to stop reading. This place is phenomenal. Some of the stories and things that people have gone through. One thing that always happen is that when the WS sees that the BS is moving on perhaps dating or even thinking they are dating is they come running back.

I have eaten a whole pot of olives and glass of red wine whilst writing this! Kids are at BF house tonight, so having a quiet evening of bath, fire on, Netflix and early bed zzzzzzzz.

Just want to say thank you all for being here the last few weeks. I am not sure how I got through it, but this place saw me through some really dark days and I am hoping this sense of normality stays with me for a little while.