The best thing you can do, CB, is to institute a dark Plan B and wait this out. Your Plan B is more of a Plan C, and Plan C is a disaster for you. The whole point of Plan B is to gain some peace of mind and to maintain whatever love you have for your wayward partner.

Plug up the holes in your Plan B. Block his messages; that way you won't be triggered by seeing them. You also won't be upset when you don't see a text; you won't be wondering why he hasn't texted you, because the avenues of communication to you are closed. The only way he can communicate is through your IM. Your IM should only pass along specific, relevant information regarding the children and finances. You need to let your children know it hurts you to have them pass along messages from their dad. Tell them to let him know that if he needs to communicate anything to you, it must be through your IM.

If you continue in Plan C, you are going to be nervous wreck. Are you on antidepressants? If not, Dr. Harley often recommends them in the short term, just to help calm your mind while you make decisions and rebuild your life without your partner.

Should your partner want to return to you, he knows what he will have to do. Meanwhile, go dark. Do some nice things for yourself. Try to avoid brooding and hoping. People who have successfully used Plan B for peace for themselves train themselves to avoid even thinking about the wayward partner.


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders