Yes that’s really bad for them when a parent is making digs, maybe you want to look into counseling after the pandemic to give them some support through this. I have a well intended friend who made her DD call her mentally ill dad and when she was grown she shared she resented she didn’t respect her efforts to minimize her contact. If it’s not in the parenting schedule maybe it’s okay to let your DS go without calling? He doesn’t sound pleasant for the kids.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010