I dunno about Six...but I told dh I wanted to be his sex bot in my next life....he told me I already was...lmao!

Chode makes me LMAO! Yah! It was good.

Do you watch Smallville?

Nope. . . what channel does Smallville come on?

I don't get around much anymore! (nod to Mr. Connick)

LOL. I'd be a slave sex bot too if my H would let me.

Ooops, is that too much 411?

By the way, Kimmy -- did you see The Man with the Screaming Brain? I have to check to see when it's coming on again -- I missed it, but it looked like it was so stupid it was funny!

nah. Unless GC is peeking, I think it's just us "chicks" for now.

Smallville is on WB. Dude who is Clark Kent is nummy...Lex Luther is nummy, too.

- Kimmy

LOL. "Chicks".

Hon, nummy was Lee Adama on last Friday's Battlestar Gallactica. Rarely am I ever speechless upon display of skin, but. . . !!!

He looked like the statue of David! (wearing a towel - Grin)

I think Sci-Fi is wising up to the fact that a lot of "chicks" watch, LOL!

slh

Do you watch Firefly? Love that show, too.

Did you get that it was Xena as the reporter on BG? Took me awhile. Haven't seen her in a long time.

Was wanting to ask you about Firefly. Love the line about killing first anyone trying to kill you on all the trailers. Is it worth getting sucked into??? (LOL)

Yeah, I knew it was Xena,' cause she had been on some other Sci-Fi show about mutant, flesh-eating, migrating locusts, or something, with the same blond hair. But darn, she is looking good! A little eye-candy for they boys, eh?

slh

Oh, man, I just read back over our posts and we look like pathetic Sci-Fi geeks, LOL!

Just goes to show there is someone for everybody, even us pitiful Sci-Fi geeks!

ROFLOL


slh

Yah. Get sucked into it.

Oh, Kimmy, meant to ask --> do you watch any of the SG's? I finally relented and watched them all and am now throughly sucked into the oblivion once known as my Friday night. Yes, I can record some shows, but BSG is a MUST WATCH no matter what!

I have girlfriends that watch day after day and hour upon hour of A&E; red carpet, celebrity bios, celeb reality shows, who's wearing what. Too much swank for me.

Instead, I watch marathons on aliens and worm holes, malfunctioning FTL drives, the history of the Black Rhinoceros in the southwest African savanah, or forensic files.

I even have a spastic, paranoid six-inch goldfish fittingly-named Gaius (Baltar).

Yeah, I'm weird <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I watch all the SGs (meaning Stargate, right?). I love Atlantis - but I was very sad Rainbow (his name irl, don't remember his character name) is not on. Of course they left room for him to come back later as a big baddie.

I love Miami Ink and Inked. Can't live w/out Good Eats and Unwrapped....and I am a sucker for shows regarding ancient civilizations (hence my glazed eyes last week for history channels Rome and Romans week).

- Kimmy

On a completely unrelated topic (err, from SG, that is), today is Marriage Fidelity Day. Blessings to everyone.

So I kind of saw this coming.

I've been off ADs again, and hope to stay off. I can't afford them anymore with my change in medical coverage, and more generally I don't want to rely on them any more.

Today is the first time since I stopped that I've caught a serious case of the blues.

It started when I remembered getting served.

Most of the time, when I think of all that happened, I hover safely in the place where I feel sad for my XWW, where I feel positive about my future, and where I'm happy with most of the choices I made during the whole last year + change.

Getting served.

It was pure horror. No warning. A sh*tty convertible, a scuzzy mullet-headed dude, and me a sitting duck. It showed, in stark relief, my WW's indifference to me. Wow, it hurt so bad.

And remembering these events is a slippery slope. The signs of her indifference abound in my memory, and when one breaks through, it brings its friends.

Rejected, and not in a hateful way, but with complete indifference, and by my own wife.

And all those reasons not to do it. Destroying two families, pulling the parents of a little girl apart, putting a pregnant woman and her unborn child in jeopardy.

And a voice hisses, All those reasons not to do it, and she did anyway. That's how unthinkable the option of being with you is. And even if some other fool girl wanders into your life, and even if she gives you a few years, eventually she's going to figure out how dreadful it is to be with you, and she's going to leave too. Maybe that'll teach you to fool yourself into thinking someone would want you.

I have good defenses against this kind of stuff. My instinct is to ignore it and see it for what it is. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes it's a little too much for those defenses. And there's so much supporting evidence!

Rejected by my own wife.
Rejected by my own wife.
Rejected by my own wife.

Blech.

A temporary condition, but not cool.

I think J might call these thoughts a manifestation of my "core hurts".

Never mind, I'll be fine. Just a speed bump. Music, that'll help. And Writin' it down kinda makes me feel better.

GC

{{{GC}}} You are a wonderful human being and a lovely man, never forget that!!! You were not rejected by your W, you were trampled on by your WW.

GC - I know you know this - but it is good for us to ponder this: our wives were abducted by aliens that wish to destroy the planet starting with the marriages.

Our wives still exist - somewhere. We may never see them again. But the creatures that thrust the daggers, from behind, through our hearts, and check in every week or so to twist the dagger to make sure the wound stays fresh - these are NOT our wives. The woman who betrayed you - the woman who betrayed me - she is not my wife. She is not your wife.

They are possesed creatures - with no heart - and I do not want or need it in my life. Maybe my wife will someday come home. Maybe, someday, your wife will break through the rubber and flesh suit that the alien inhabits, and smile at you and tell you - "I am so sorry. So sorry."

Or maybe our wives are dead - and the aliens have won one or two battles.

But that creature AIN'T YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!

Peace to you, brother.

I will pray a prayer of peace for you. For tomorrow.
Let me know if you discern it.

far

Wow, gray, you really have a knack of putting feelings into words.

I'm late.

"Slept until noon yesterday."

But before it got dark, I bet you had every picnic basket that's in Jellystone Park!

...I've always wanted 2 use that in conversation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Graycloud, Graycloud, Graycloud,
One of these days.................

In the neighboorhood I grew up in, if I had ever said "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." The other boys would have said "Lets all beat him up, so he can get stronger."

I think you are about strong enough for a while. Take a cue from J, and expect it to happen when the timing is right. Have some faith it won't take forever. Where is that man that did so well in college? I want to see a post from him sometime in the next few weeks. See if you can persuade him to write to us.

2long, REPORT, you can't just tell us things are going better, and then quote songs. Even if they are good songs, you can't just do that.

Weaver,
I can see you grow. I can see that the things you are reading are helping. It is so sweeeeeeet to see you understanding your possibilities. It will get better, and better as you go along.

AD,
You are too quiet. Whats going on?

SLH,
(Very Long pause)
Oh SLH, you still hurt so much sometimes. You don't have faith things will be OK, and your hope is even having problems. I hear you about the long hours, and being gone.

Tell me about every day things.
Tell me about the girls. How they are, where they are......and I don't mean "in the back yard playing."
About your "boy" and how often you get to ride.
What you are thinking about the next few months financially.
Do you see improvement in any areas of your life, and if so what are they?

You asked me some questions, I can answer now if you desire. I have been underdeadline at work. (Hmmm, doesn't that sound fimiliar?) However, I have been meeting my W's needs, even If I have very little time for others.

I lay awake last night for a long time thinking about people here. I still think you have so much to hope for, so much to look forward to.

J,
I didn't know it was HoFS. There is a good chance he is a better man than I. I followed his story for a long time on the thread that is no longer......... don't let him get away.

I have duct tape if you need it.

How are you now? I would expect your future looks brighter than it has for awhile.

And please, one favor. How is Penny? You can condense, but I would like to know. Not the normal polite company version, but how she? You would know.

Binder,
I need to be careful, because I don't know everything, and I make mistakes..... but, it seems that something happened to you these last six months or so that really hurt, after you thought you had experianced the worst. Am I dreaming this?

I think of you often. I wonder about your home life, how it is from day to day. How the fishing was this summer. If you can laugh and mean it, or if it is hollow sometimes.

Thanks for the update, but I want more information. You are a good man, and sometimes you know it, but I want you to know all the time, and not doubt.

I am still thinking about Gray's doubt. I am thinking..... mountain bike......... the three fingers of death, and don't tell him about the drop off.

There are so many others that read, and sometimes comment. I hope today is a good day for you.

SS

SS:

Stuff's okay. Recovery is weird, though.

I think it's important 2 be careful not 2 expect 2 much at first. It's been a pretty anticlimactic few more days since our talk on the phone. Not much R or M stuff, just little observations, but the kind that show she's been thinking.

This morning it was her observation that she likes long vacations, and I like many little ones. I didn't even realize that, but it must be sorta true. I'm not sure what it means that she made that observation, but there it is. I think there was a little hurt behind it, so I need 2 explore that - she still seems 2 be jealous of the time I spend with my telescopes (which has literally only been one evening while she was gone since Labor Day, but I did just recently order some stuff and have been fretting over what to order). I also dabble on the internet perhaps 2 much, but I try 2 do that when I get up in the morning 2 make coffee, or a couple times when I couldn't sleep and let her get 2 sleep without me keeping the light on or staring at the ceiling.

I spend more time on hobby-related newsgroups than MB these days. Must be good news? I never do chat rooms (wouldn't really know how and don't want 2 learn) or IM (same thing? See? I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm damn proud of it!).

But I do try 2 keep a watch on the time I spend so if she wants 2 talk or for me 2 spend time with her, I can be there.

I sent her one of the quotes from 'neak's thread about quotes. The one about courage and fear. She liked it. I'd like 2 send her SKM's Chronicles, but I'm not sure it's time yet.

-ol' 2long