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What is the old saying, beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Alright, since we've kinda made this thread into a "list what's wrong with your WS's OP" thread...
I was astounded at my wife's OM. She had ONE pic of this guy...and he was about butt-ugly. Bald, overweight...and if that wasn't enough, he smokes (she's VERY allergic to cigarette smoke), drinks every night, lives in a one-room apartment, had NO dishes or pots & pans (he bought some when he thought she was going to come live with him, since she told him she'd cook for him).
How she expected to live with him is beyond me. She wouldn't have even been able to ride to his house from the airport in his car...if she gets into a car that someone smokes in it triggers her asthma. Same thing about his apartment...even his clothes.
It's just downright amazing how reality goes right out the window when an affair starts.
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My OM was not the greatest looking yellowed teeth, alot of them flase, toned body, but very skinny and shorter than me, looked older than his age, smoked, had many affairs before me, but during the fantasy of the affair - it didn't matter - all that mattered was how I was feeling...
Sadly H's OW was gorgeous - a single divorced mom, 40 (older than him) who mountain biked competetivly - she had a kick [censored] body, gorgeous face, and her act together (ran her own business) - to be honest, if she had known H was lying to her about me (she had no clue we weren't seperated, and when she came close to figuring it out - he left me) I don't think she would have dated him...I can't hate my OW cause I think she did have alot of class, sadly being that she was in another city - H was able to do alot of lying and manipulating...
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What is with all of the wanderers?! Me included! My om was 11 years younger, acted age 7, had had SEVERAL other 1x sexual encounters w/ women (as many as 2-3 a year since marriage), discolored teeth, was 6" 2' and weighed 212, but wanted to weigh 240 (and have a pro-wrestler's phsique... yeah, that's a good healthy idea!), had the social skills of a semi-trained dog, and WASN'T GOOD (if you know what I mean...). He even said, "all your freinds would ask what you are doing w/ me... and I said, "oh no they would like you (yeah, I was lying!). FOG and addiction are CRAZY!!!!!!! (Yeah, but I'll confess to having been no saint, I acted needy, over-sexed, manipulative to get attention, etc.).
FWS (me) - 39
BH - 40
DS - 7, DD - 4
Married 08/10/91
EA/PA '04-'05, D-Day 7/16/05
In IC/MC and working towards recovery
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I guess the bottom line is that these om or ow are/were filling needs that we were not..... Now that we know, it would be nice if our wayward spouses would give US a chance to fill those needs.... I know my marriage could be 360 degrees different and better than it EVER was if h would come home and give me a chance... but he is still in fog and in A and not living here right now so..... I wait and see.... that's the only way I can explain him being with such a manipulative psycho half mental cheating lying woman... mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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What is with all of the wanderers?! Me included! My om was 11 years younger, acted age 7, had had SEVERAL other 1x sexual encounters w/ women (as many as 2-3 a year since marriage), discolored teeth, was 6" 2' and weighed 212, but wanted to weigh 240 (and have a pro-wrestler's phsique... yeah, that's a good healthy idea!), had the social skills of a semi-trained dog, and WASN'T GOOD (if you know what I mean...). He even said, "all your freinds would ask what you are doing w/ me... and I said, "oh no they would like you (yeah, I was lying!). FOG and addiction are CRAZY!!!!!!! (Yeah, but I'll confess to having been no saint, I acted needy, over-sexed, manipulative to get attention, etc.). It's because the really good people out there - who have beautiful souls which make them beautiful - wouldn't even think about getting involved with a married man or woman...but the ones who will, the ones who are interested in themselves (like I was) are all that's left...and many of us are tarnished. I am a beautiful woman...a little overweight (20lbs) but tall and carry it well. I am by no means an ugly woman - but I am sure I wasn't very pretty while I was an OW...my soul was pretty ugly then. H's OW though is beautiful and sounds like a terrific person. She never knew he was married - was always under the assumption that he had been seperated for months and the divorce was in prececedings...from the conversations I read of theirs, I know if she had truly known - she would have dropped him. Its sucks cause I would love to hate her - but she didn't know.
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Oh my, I think I was in shock the very first time I saw the xow's picture. Bugged out eyes, horse teeth, bad bad hair, adult acne, uglyyyyyy I pulled it up and asked my FWH is that was indeed the xow. He looked so sick just by looking at her, he was so ashamed he just had hoped I never would get to see her.
He had to go throw up so I trashed the photo. When he came back he said he had forgotten how she looked and now that he saw the photo again he was just as shocked as me. What in the world was he thinking? he said.
Now I have a laugh thinking about it. Everybody at his old job, relatives, and friends say that they are so glad he ditched the xow (was xgf before me) and got someone way better looking. I guess that since people keep begging us to have babies (even strangers), we do make a cute couple.
Someone throw me a map already!
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I didn't need a picture of OW because I knew her. I guess I let her looks decieve me cause she doesn't look like a threat. She enjoys wearing flannel shirts,shorts and work boots at the same time. She doesn't dye her graying hair, she has no chin her mouth goes almost straight to her throat, she almost has an unibrow. She also enjoys wearing NASCAR clothing. The most feminine thing about her is that she wears rings on every single one of fingernail nubbed fingers. Her most attractive quality is that she like to have a good time and can drink beer til the cows come home.
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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I never saw my FWW OM... and really don't want to. But, she has described him as sounding not very attractive (bad acne problem as kid) and chunky.
I call him "The Toad" if we ever speak about him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me) xFWW: 50 Married: 9/97 PA: 3 months D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me) Divorced: 10/2/2008 Happy that I've moved on
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I call the OW She Devil!!!
BW(me) DDay EA 4/05 DDay PA 6/05 In recovery
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Travellinman, you only ned to understand that you are better off without someone that has obviously traded in good judgment for bad judgment. I am on my way to divorce and I don't feel bad about it anymore. It shouldn't be to hard to replace someone like my ww. Individuals like that are a dime a dozen.Don't get me wrong we had some great times together, but this is her choice and my choice is to live a good life with or without her. Do the same my friend, it's the best revenge.
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Wow...that is some picture. A bisexual dentist w/bleached teeth and too many darn muscles with a flyrod hanging on her wall. bleech!
My xh's ow? Plural ow... 1)monkeyho. I called her that. Gave her that name b/c of her upturned nose. Looks rather monkey-ish..ape ish actually. Bleached out blonde hair (she swears it is real...heck, I am a real blonde and I know fake when i see it). Skinny and a complete nut job. Compeletely codependent on everybody and deep down hates herself. She is psycho. Drug rep and thinks she knows as much as say...I do...about health care. Can we say get an education monkeyho? She tried to recently give my xcb *(xcollege boyfriend whom I still talk with back home) a lapdance at a party. He said "hey...if I were you, I'd step back. Gosh. Peachy is gonna think this is hilarious. You do know her don't you?" 2)Family Values: She is an x model and sometimes cuts hair. She has long straggly black hair with her own ends needing say a foot long trim. She is also stick skinny with a fake constant tan and tons of freckles from too much tanning. She is 10 years younger than me and looks older than me. Can we say she looks well...worn... Heck, monkey looks like an x stripper worn hard also. Also no education past high school. At least monkey went to college. Tall. Also tall like monkey. Greatest claim to fame was being an atlanta maxxim girl.
For kicks, a guy buddy of mine back home showed me the same college yearbook. MOnkey and I went to same college...I was in a sorority, featured twirler, and frat little sister. MOnkey looked like she had stuck her hair into a electric socket. Plus SHE HAS A DIFFERENT NOSE NOW!!!!
Me: blonde/blue eyes. Five four. Size six. Not fat, just right. Curves in places where they should be. Goofy. Giggly. sometimes very serious when working. Good mom and former very faithful wife. Makes darn good banana pudding using chessmen cookies. Educated. Decent job. Somewhat respected in profession. was in top 10 of my former state's miss america pageant during college.
My best friends compare FV to me as this: It's like angeline jolie vs. reece witherspoon. One's vanilla, the other is chocolate.
Seems my xh likes chocolate and vanilla...and sprinkles too...latest is 21 year old college student. scarily reminds me of me 12 years ago.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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My 4-year BF from HS had an A and left me for a, err...'plain' girl.
I'm pretty sure I felt worse to know that someone so plain could replace me. It's obvious why people fall for beauty, but to loose out to HER, that seemed more of a poke at me.
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Well my former OM was very attractive...movie star looks...very nice build...great smile...I wouldn't want my h to see him...my h is attractive mind you and works out but...I still wouldn't want my h to see him. I prefer my h to think he is slimy. Unfortunately om did something that h found out about (in my best interest) and h for a moment thought om was kind of classy.
I really try to think of him in a disgusting manner but that is tough at times...I remind myself that looks can be deceptive. It is what we represented that I find disgusting. Funny how I feel much more beautiful now that-that part of my life is over. Thank you God.
Brandi
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My WW's OM is nothing compared to me. Not to sound full of myself or nothing. He is short, overweight, a real dorky face with a dumb looking grin all the time. The real funny thing is, he is now tring to look like me. By shaving the same and tring to wear his hair the same. Probably at WW's request.. Although he is two years younger, he is balding and my hair cut does not work to well for him. lol In fact WW has admitted to me several times that he is just not much to look at. She claims that he just does not compared to me at all. He is so ugly compared to me that WW is now saying she is ugly and how did i settle for someone like her. OM is 5'10ish 230 or more. No muscle only lard, balding, yellow teeth, whimpy blue eyes. This guy screams mommas boy. Of which he is... I'm 6'5" was 215 now 190. Athletic my entire life. let's just say god blessed me pretty well physically. I have to say that I kind felt bad at first knowing the OM that stole my wife was a loser in every since of the word. Now it's funny knowing the guy is a milk dud and can't hold down a job and his best friend is his parents.
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Hey, I know what we should do!!
Let's start a new photo thread with pics of our spouse's OP's in it!! LOL...kinda like a "most not-wanted" board in the Post Office!
Who's in? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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BW(me) DDay EA 4/05 DDay PA 6/05 In recovery
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I hesitate to admit . . . I'm ENJOYING this!
WH's First OW - 50, married, skinny, mousy, big nose, moderately intelligent.
WH's Second OW - 27, single, chunky, dumb as a stump.
Go figure?
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Well, CC sent me here to check out this thread. She said it was so hilarious that she is STILL laughing.
Unfortunately, my WH's OW is 20 years younger than we are and very pretty. She is very tiny - about 5 feet tall and 100 pounds. My WH is 6'2" and 260 the last I knew.
The only thing that makes me smile is that he had a horrible habit of almost crushing me during SF. I have thoughts of him smothering her one of these days.
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My H's MOW is pretty and has a toned body that she works hard at. She spends a lot of money on trendy clothes and she has a pretty bubbly personality. It is all superficial though. My H says that up close her face is pretty wrinkly from years of tanning, she is very high maintenance once you get to know her, and while she may have a nice body she has had multiple affairs during her two marriages so she isn't a very nice person - this all came from him. He also said that she isn't a very good mother since she always puts her needs above her kids - they cannot even go out for sports because it would interfere with her social life. Evil wrapped in an attractive package I guess. It is too bad that society values the superficial aspects of people like that more than people who take care of their families and give to others and who have morals............
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