Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

i am dying here. What did the PI report say?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All I did was ask her to RESPECT your request not to get responses from OW and look at the nasty reply she gave me. She's here to stir crap up, no doubt about it. She loves to rub things in BW's faces when she gets the chance.

Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

Sleepless,

Well, I just wanted to congradulate you on your "get out of jail free" card! I know it's not TOTALLY free, as you and FWH are still dealing with the aftermath of his A, but it also sounds like things are moving in the forward direction for that as well. If he ever does remember the xOW and the A, you will need to be there to support him and assure him of your forgivness and love. I know that I have not posted to you before this, but have kept up with your saga. I have been on basically all sides of the coin here, and can understand your fears, anger, frustration from the BW pov. Please continue to post here as many care about you and your H's recovery! Congrats again!

Sleepless, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is excellent news! i am so happy for you.

I hope the doctors are able to shed more light on his amnesia. i am sure they know what they are doing but have they ever considered whether it might result from some kind of dissocitive disorder? like dissocitive amnesia? anyway, as i said i am sure the doctors know what they are doing.

i am really glad though that you two are making such great strides at getting over this. congrats again!

Carolyn

Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> you go girl!

Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

JUST go get the restraining orders already and serve them. I think they need to feel some consequences for thier actions. They cant harass your H so they are take it out on you, mental. Wow they feel forgoten about by your h literally i guess and that is just not something they want to accept.
What did you do to deserve the contact and harrassment? Nothing
What should you do to protect yourself against any further actions? Everything you can

sleepless, i think it is time to unleash the hounds on this nutter.

cordelia is right. get the restraining orders, on all of them. her, her mother, their goldfish. have them served and if you have ANY further contact, and i mean passing them in the street is to much, call the police and have the orders enforced.

i am really sorry you are dealing with this. at least you know where the OW gets her crazyness from. her mother is just as bad!

hugs to you

Carolyn

Both Cordelia and Carolyn are correct, but having dealt with a wacko xom myself, it won't necessarily stop the phone calls. Heck, he was told by his CO(commanding officer) to have NO contact and stay away from our house(basically a military restraining order) but that didn't stop all the hang up calls from pay phones or even phones where this guy worked! I say that you need to think about changing phone numbers, and if family asks, and you don't want to tell them EVERYTHING, just say that you've been getting some harrassing phone calls and this was the only way to stop them. It was a bit commical, but when the xom got kicked out of the military and sent home, the calls stopped. I believe that we changed our phone number after that as well. We were only harrassed one more time and that was when my H signed on to our instant message account and xom just happened to be on at the same time and he was still as pittiful as ever! Saddest thing is this was in Oct and xom was kicked out of the military in July! We changed our sign in name and that was the end of that. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to make a few minor changes like that, but since you don't have to worry about the possibility of an oc, you can move on and get your M rebuilt and help your H move past all of this. Was the xow's mom still trying to claim a pregnancy? Heck, at 5-6+ months, she BETTER be showing by now! It sounds like the xow's family are enablers. Maybe they are sick of xow living with them, and were hoping to pawn her off on your H.

Again, I agree with the "Cs" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> and you should get the restraining orders now and find out how much it would cost to change your phone number. And, you're welcome for the support. We've been in recovery for almost 6 years now, and it is doable.

Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

I was just about to say WHY did you not demand that the OW mother offer up an explanation as to why she raised such a moraless slut? Did not she owe that explaination to you?

LOL omg too funny

Lets see I will answer her for your spouse. Mother of ****** please accept this explanation, I so choose to stop commiting adultery with your moraless lying daughter and return to the loving wife I wronged so badly and hope that she can find it in her heart to forgive me and we can put our marriage contract/commitment back on the top of the list of priorities in life where it belongs. I know you looked forward to pawning off your useless/demented/warped child(OW) on me to take care of for you, irregardless of my legal/moral/religios commitment to my loving wife. so sorry go recruit another wayward/clueless/lack of better judgement man.

LOL How is that?

Sleepless,
I know this is a bit off topic now, but I'm still really interested in what doctors are exploring in terms of your H's memory. Does he have a past history of being abused so that a dissociative disorder could be a very real possibility? Any past head injuries? Have they checked for seizure activity? History of alcohol/drug abuse?

Even though your H. says he would never say certain things about you, it sounds like things a typical WS would say and do. Wandering around in their "fog"........

My concern would be that if there was an affair and memory loss once....what's the likelihood that it could happen again???? I'd sure want to keep searching for causation. Whether it was a conscious decision or not, I sure wouldn't want to have to deal with anything like this again.

Post deleted by sleeplessiniowa

(((((Mr sleepless))))

some people just shouldnt be allowed to have children.

hugs to you sleepless.

C.

From the little I know, Disassociating is a defense mechanism used by severley abused children to partition off horrific memories... Abused children will talk about how they are out of their body during the abuse, watching it from afar, or something similar, this is the way it starts. If the memory becomes too much to remember later, they will put the memory in it's own place.

What happens later is they will experience a trigger, or stressful situation where they will need to disassociate again...the memory is too painful to experience, or they are not able to cope with the stress. Sometimes they develop another persona, (have you seen the movie Sybil?) They develop another personality to enable them to fell or act in a way they are not able to act...they will develop a persona that will be able to hate their mother, or a persona that will enable them to succeed. It used to be called fugueing, and thought to be something like a seizure when a person developed this persona...

During this memory loss, the person is acting and performing like a person would...albeit, their personality may be changed, and they may have no recollection of their "real" life.

It is possible there were problems or arguments in your M that reminded H of his past abuse...yelling or raising your voice, or the feelings he had in a situation. As S we take on many roles with our S...friend, lover, and sometimes parent or sibling... It may be possible H was reminded of his Mother, had to defend himself by fuguing, and that is where the criticisms came from...he may have said some horrible stories about you, that were REALLY stories about his mother...

Please, please, please, get him help...someone who is familiar with DID...

In the interest of privacy I have decided to remove all of my posts. My intent is to remove fodder for discussion and mockery of on another board. This is no reflection on MB and those who gather here with the best of intentions to support one another. I do appreciate everyone—Carolyn—U have been an angel--and others for all their help and support.

For those of you--- wives/spouses who are still dealing with an OC, or the threat/ possibility of, I wish you all the best for you and yours.

I will be back to check in from time to time and to offer my support. Right now I have to make some decisions and choices for me and my children, and my marriage. The fact that OW is not pregnant changes nothing for me as far as I'm concerned, nor does his “coping” mechanism of his “amnesia”.


Hugs,

Best of luck to you Sleepless!

I think deleting your posts is a wise idea.

That other board is out of control - I just had to laugh though when I read something about "reading MB for entertainment" and blah, blah, blah "crazy BW", etc. BECAUSE that is exactly what I think of that particular board - I read it merely for entertainment and to see how wacko some OW really are!!

Anyway - hang in there. I know you will figure out what's right for you and your marriage and your kids. Just know that not everyone out here in cyberland is so cynical and there are people that believe your story and believe in you!