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There is one MB member here who has spoken to him at length before. I will have Spartan talk to her. I will say that I think this is a bad plan...If I'm not mistaken this female is a rather new FWW herself (L4?)...It is a bad idea to have Spartan having private phone conversations with another female...It is bad for Spartan, who is vulnerable right now, and it is bad for the new FWW...How would her husband feel about that? Mrs. W I'll have him call Mr. W via your number or e-mail you two. I
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Dealan-de, please shred the credit card number on the initial e-mail I sent you. Spartan wasn't too pleased with me when he found out I didn't edit the numbers out. I know! When I saw that, I was like, "TG it's ME and not someone else..." The Wookie would tell you I'm honest to a fault...but really it's that whenever I do something wrong, I end up with tummy troubles. So no worries...it was (shift)deleted yesterday. And Mrs...OM doesn't know a thing about MB. I asked yesterday offline. What did Spartan say about the post nup? I know I felt TONS better when I had that bit of paper in my hot little hands.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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There is one MB member here who has spoken to him at length before. I will have Spartan talk to her. I will say that I think this is a bad plan...If I'm not mistaken this female is a rather new FWW herself (L4?)...It is a bad idea to have Spartan having private phone conversations with another female...It is bad for Spartan, who is vulnerable right now, and it is bad for the new FWW...How would her husband feel about that? Mrs. W I agree. Let the menfolk lift Spartan up (offline). The womenfolk will lift you up (offline). And both sexes can post here. Boundries. They are a GOOD thing.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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There is one MB member here who has spoken to him at length before. I will have Spartan talk to her. I will say that I think this is a bad plan...If I'm not mistaken this female is a rather new FWW herself (L4?)...It is a bad idea to have Spartan having private phone conversations with another female...It is bad for Spartan, who is vulnerable right now, and it is bad for the new FWW...How would her husband feel about that? Mrs. W I'll have him call Mr. W via your number or e-mail you two. I Mr. W's number is the same as mine, only it ends in 88 instead of 89... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Dealan-de, please shred the credit card number on the initial e-mail I sent you. Spartan wasn't too pleased with me when he found out I didn't edit the numbers out. I know! When I saw that, I was like, "TG it's ME and not someone else..." The Wookie would tell you I'm honest to a fault...but really it's that whenever I do something wrong, I end up with tummy troubles. So no worries...it was (shift)deleted yesterday. And Mrs...OM doesn't know a thing about MB. I asked yesterday offline. What did Spartan say about the post nup? I know I felt TONS better when I had that bit of paper in my hot little hands. Thanks for taking care of me, girl.  Spartan said "probably" when I talked to him about the postnup. I will draw one up and take it to an attorney. One last thing I forgot to mention is that I will be getting a full STD screening and give Spartan the results.
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Mr. W's number is the same as mine, only it ends in 88 instead of 89...
Mrs. W Thank you, I forgot.
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We want you to succeed and will encourage your good choices.
We want you to succeed and will tear you a "new one" if you try to pull crap on us.
Two side of the same coin.
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We want you to succeed and will encourage your good choices.
We want you to succeed and will tear you a "new one" if you try to pull crap on us.
Two side of the same coin. I will tell you that I did NOT enjoy yesterday. I'd rather you beat my a$$ at Scrabble and will make SURE it stays that way.
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Are you ready to write your list of Extraordinary Precautions? Here is TST's list that he gave to my FWH for reference: Extraordinary Precautions:
a) I am responsible to protect my wife at all times.
b) I will give full access of all my business records to my wife.
c) I will agree to give all passwords, account codes business and personal to my wife.
d) I will not put myself in an advice giver role with another woman, unless my wife is present and has given her prior approval.
e) I will defer to my wife as the advice giver when it involves another woman, unless she specifically calls on me.
f) I will not spend any time with another woman that my wife is not present.
g) I will allow only my wife to hear my problems or concerns.
h) I will not share my infirmities with another woman.
i) I will allow my wife to be my exclusive care giver, unless she specifically calls on someone else to help her.
j) I will defer to my wife in all matters of charity and outreach, with her being the sole point of contact when caring for women.
k) I will not teach martial arts to another woman without my wife being present and having enthusiastic agreement about such training in advance.
l) I will openly share my daily business schedule with my wife.
m) At any time she requests, I will trade cell phones with my wife for the time she deems necessary.
n) I will allow only men to provide essential care, such as Doctors appointments, hair cuts, massages, individual counseling, etc.
o) I will always defer to my wife regarding any outside activity and will agree to eliminate any activity she feels is interfering in our relationship or the relationships of our children.
p) I will not travel out of town for business or personal reasons without the company of my wife. Writing his own list and posting it where he sees it all the time really helped my FWH reign in his boudaries AND see where he went wrong before.
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We want you to succeed and will encourage your good choices.
We want you to succeed and will tear you a "new one" if you try to pull crap on us.
Two side of the same coin. You gotta love yourself some Pep... She's the spice o'life...I keep some of her right next to the bay leaves.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Are you ready to write your list of Extraordinary Precautions? Here is TST's list that he gave to my FWH for reference: Extraordinary Precautions:
a) I am responsible to protect my wife at all times.
b) I will give full access of all my business records to my wife.
c) I will agree to give all passwords, account codes business and personal to my wife.
d) I will not put myself in an advice giver role with another woman, unless my wife is present and has given her prior approval.
e) I will defer to my wife as the advice giver when it involves another woman, unless she specifically calls on me.
f) I will not spend any time with another woman that my wife is not present.
g) I will allow only my wife to hear my problems or concerns.
h) I will not share my infirmities with another woman.
i) I will allow my wife to be my exclusive care giver, unless she specifically calls on someone else to help her.
j) I will defer to my wife in all matters of charity and outreach, with her being the sole point of contact when caring for women.
k) I will not teach martial arts to another woman without my wife being present and having enthusiastic agreement about such training in advance.
l) I will openly share my daily business schedule with my wife.
m) At any time she requests, I will trade cell phones with my wife for the time she deems necessary.
n) I will allow only men to provide essential care, such as Doctors appointments, hair cuts, massages, individual counseling, etc.
o) I will always defer to my wife regarding any outside activity and will agree to eliminate any activity she feels is interfering in our relationship or the relationships of our children.
p) I will not travel out of town for business or personal reasons without the company of my wife. Writing his own list and posting it where he sees it all the time really helped my FWH reign in his boudaries AND see where he went wrong before. Yes, I am. I will post them more than likely by the weekend. I've been drinking from a firehose since yeserday and although the pace won't slow down for some time, I need a quiet space to write these. Right now, I'm at work.
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Excellent post by drgnfly! EP's written and posted are important, MS. Ok, for your spiritual time... 1. Go to this link and get the FREE downloadable MP3 of this series from Truth For Life. Road to Redemption 2. Go to Focus on the Family www.focusonthefamily.com and listen to yesterday and today's broadcast. You NEED this spiritual food all being offered for FREE.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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MS,
I am NOT picking on you....this is just my GUT reaction....
Bad day yesterday, I'm sure, BUT today it seems that you have AGAIN wrapped it all up in a nice box, put on bow on it, and expect "all's well".
Sorry, ain't buying it.
Me 48 XWAW 42 M 18Y
D day 9/14/08
Plan A&B for months
One false R
DS12 (my life)
DD23
D Final 5-14-09
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We want you to succeed and will encourage your good choices.
We want you to succeed and will tear you a "new one" if you try to pull crap on us.
Two side of the same coin. You gotta love yourself some Pep... She's the spice o'life...I keep some of her right next to the bay leaves. FYI - this is a good parenting motto too !!! 
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Take a little time (I wouldn't take too long though or the 2x4s might come flying out  )and make them your OWN.
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Spartan and I talked quite a bit last night. He never has fully read through my thread, but when he saw the lie of the NC date, he posted and called me out on it because he, "wanted me to get the help that I needed". Does this mean that Spartan has known all along that you've been in contact? Or at least caught you more than just this last time? So, you were lying to the board, in an effort to convince Spartan that you were going to do the right thing? Just trying to untangle this all... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Wow, Sparky. I take a little vaca and the lid comes off.
I am disappointed. And I am not perfect. You know I will never judge you. Just trying to wrap my brain around all of this. I saw a glimmer of something a few days ago and voiced that here, but you explained it away.
Please listen to the people here. Please be honest. And please do right for the sake of your family.
You and Spartan remain in my prayers.
Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08
DS10
DD8
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MS,
I am NOT picking on you....this is just my GUT reaction....
Bad day yesterday, I'm sure, BUT today it seems that you have AGAIN wrapped it all up in a nice box, put on bow on it, and expect "all's well".
Sorry, ain't buying it. Mine too. I hope she proves us wrong.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I have someone with me so that should Spartan question where I am, I have a second voice to guarantee my whereabouts. MS, here's the deal..... This is my standard MO now, not to quarantee anything or even to eliminate questions. It's all about the attitude of respecting my DW and understanding the importance of having respectful boundaries. Wrong attitude! but I am doing it as an extraordinary precaution to prove my honesty. Again, wrong attitude! EP's are put in place to PROTECT YOUR SPOUSE. A level of care that has not existed in your life for a long time. NOT to protect you! You should already know you are, by nature, a dishonest person. EP's will NEVER prove you are honest.... they are necessary to prevent circumstances that would do additional damage to your spouse!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Spartan said "probably" when I talked to him about the postnup. I will draw one up and take it to an attorney.
One last thing I forgot to mention is that I will be getting a full STD screening and give Spartan the results. As for the post-nup, that is something that should be drawn up by an attorney so that it is airtight. Are you saying you're just going to draw up your list of what you're willing to forfeit if you screw around again? As for the STD screening, you and Spartan BOTH should have the tests. Sparkle, I sincerely hope that you are on the up and up now. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if you aren't.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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