Amen!

MS, I'm going to pick your posts apart and point out anything that makes me think, "Hhmm...", because my gut feeling on you was right from the start.

I'd like to see you finally stop destroying your family. I'm not convinced yet.





You are seeking Godly counsel through Jennifer at MB.

One of your EPs should be that you will not share personal information, especially about your marriage, with a member of the opposite sex. Yes, that includes your pastor or a counselor.

Many, many pastors/counselor do not keep healthy boundaries. No matter how ridiculous it may sound to you right now, you are in no position to be crying to any male except Spartan.

And many, many pastors/counselors are clueless about recovering from infidelity and will lead you into places that will do you no good. You already have a counselor...Jennifer.

Stick with one program so you aren't tempted to pick a little of this and a little of that. That approach will get you nowhere.






I hope you realize that what you have done as far as boundaries the last few days are BASIC steps. You have done nothing extraordinary here.





I find it interesting that you repeatedly said "given without being asked."

You are still looking for kudos instead of focusing on doing what is right because it is right.







Why is another infidelity on your part required before offering "just" compensation?

That puts the burden of proof on Spartan if you have another affair. This document will mean nothing if he cannot prove to the court that you are in an affair again. So you really aren't offering anything here.







DO IT YOURSELF!

Why are you dumping this on Spartan?




Are these female coworkers people that you have disclosed the truth to?

The REAL truth.






Why? Do you lie all the time about everything?

Or was all the lying done in order to keep the affair going?

See, I doubt you have an issue with lying. You are just an addict who will do whatever is necessary to get their fix. It could be lying, stealing, anything. But lying was necessary for your fix.

Quit sidetracking yourself with "issues" and start dealing with the AFFAIR and how to stop having them.





Boy does that sound familiar.

Don't ignore this part. See my thread for an example.

I'm not selling.

So much for humbleness.

He knew but I wasn't on the board as a way on convincing him that I was doing the right thing. Just as going to church wasn't making me a Christian. I was all talk and no action.

SMB:

Is Spartan not to counsel with Jennifer on Monday?

What I'm expressing is that what I do is not for any of you. It is for Spartan. I don't need to make anyone here happy.

WTF

Still distracted! Self Help??? Ya thats a good one! Hows that been working for ya so far :crosseyedcrazy:

Quit avoiding the real work!

Read the books, SAA and HNHN!

You have NOT READ them yet!

You breezed through them while you were having an ACTIVE affair!

It was usless to read them while in your wayward state of mind.

Yanno, you remind me a lot of my little sister. She can talk your ear off and tell you all the things she thinks you want to hear and blow sunshine with the best of them. She has a problem with the truth as well.

For someone who was so "broken" yesterday, you sure did a quick rebound. Already joking around on your thread, being sarcastic, flippant.

Whatever.

You will be phone coaching with a trained, experienced, INFIDELITY coach on the phone.

Not an evangelist that will hug you and allow your boundaries to fall.

BTW, YOU are the wayward right now! And you are not a FORMER one yet either!

Please don't cuss.

I finished HNHN's and I'm sorry that I didn't post when I finished. I looked through the MB website last night for CD's on Surviving the Affair and also LoveBusters. The reason for the CD's is because he requested it that way. I couldn't find them on CD so I have ordered the books directly from the website.

I'm trying to fix all of the problems that I have all at once!

I have many people's posts coming at me all at once and while I will not turn and run, I cannot do it all in a day.

I just got back from the Dr. and got my STD screening today as well as a physical. I'm scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound in 2wks.

My STD results will be ready in 2wks and I need to call in for the results. I will do this with Spartan present and have the phone on speaker.

Neither one of us comes from a family with any money so we've never done and kind of prenup so seeing an attorney is something we've never done. I will make some phone calls today to get an appointment.

Sparkle, Sparkle,

Seeking personal gratification on this board and from elsewhere is getting you no where. You are in great danger of having no one to respond to you.

I said I was not picking on ya, and I still am not. We WANT to help you. It is IMPOSSIBLE to "fix" your M overnight!

All I am pointing out is that you already have all the answers and action plans "ready to go". NO WAY!

Listen to the advice here and do not smart a** away the ones that still believe that deep down is the CHRISTIAN WOMAN you are TODAY, AGAIN, making yourself out to be.

We do not count, your right, but if you really have repented to God and Spartan, and mean it....then thats a start.

BEG God....BEG Spartan to forgive and THEN take all measures to recover YOURSELF!!

I write everything down.....I plan....THEN I ACT ON THOSE PLANS.......come on...you know EXACTLY what I'm telling you. You are still trying to write down what YOU think we want to hear so that you again can be viewed favorably. That is what "I'm not buying".

We are watching you and some of us are hurting for you (me) and some are judging you. GOD is weeping at your continued deception.

I'm crying again. I'm so sorry, everyone. PLEASE do not turn away from me right now. Suffice it to say that I'm extremely emotional.

I'm not looking for any sympathy from this but my doctor is very concerned about some lumps that she found and ordered the mammo and ultrasound with a doctor's presence. I'm sorry, I'm scared.

Wow it's nice to see you've maintained such a high moral standard for yourself that you've at least desired to keep cussing out of your life.

I think I'm gonna go! Good Luck Kiddo!

it upsets me to see you lecture tst on his posts after what you have done. He abbreviates. You lie, cheat, manipulate, deceive and break the vows of your M. You really have very little right to lecture anyone.

tst gives up his time to HELP on this board. He doesn't have to. He chooses to. He is gving back. He has helped my FWH and me so very much. He is, however, lke all of us, a little frustrated with your apparent posturing.

I hope I am wrong about you. BUT!!!!! You do not seem humbled. You do not seem broken.

Your children deserve MUCH better than they have had from you thus far. Spartan deserves much better.

Please don't let them down again. I hope you can see the damage you are doing and I hope you can begin your journey towards recovery.

And was before you got caught. He knew you were lying before Spartan did. He knew you would before you did it. And He still cried every time you did it.

Mark

I agree with the concerns about seeing the pastor alone.

Ask the pastor to have a female mentor present, to avoid any possible scenario where you are alone with a member of the opposite sex that is not your husband.

Having Godly mentors for both you and your husband would be something good to have right now.

He needs a male mentor, and you need a female to walk you through this.

I agree with the precautions about being alone with a male, even in a counseling situation.

No one knows the mother that I am to my children and those are the comments that hurt the most.

The marriage counselor we have is a female. I will continue to see her alone.

I have given Spartan Pastor Bruce's card. He may not want Godly counsel or any counseling right now.