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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 59
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 59
Hello Everyone<P> Thanks for all your help & support I truly appreciate them. I went to counseling yesterday with the wife had told him thing are going better. We only had one problem that week & a great weekend. My wife brought up the fact that when she tells me some things that I will either not react or over react to them. He informed me that I need to learn to control & self-sooth myself so that my wife can feel more comfortable about telling me things that she needs to talk about. I told the counselor that I agreed so guess what he wants me to do. At first I was very excited doing an exercise with my W I felt that it would only bring us closer. But wait tell you here what I have to do. This is scary & a test.<P> My W gets 25 minutes to talk about her feelings, Thoughts & any thing she wants to. I have to sit there & take notes and not comment, Interrupt or get emotional over anything she says. At the end of her time I am supposed to summarize what I think she is trying to tell me. She can correct me. After five minuets I am not allowed to talk about any of this. Until three days later we will reverse it. The next day we go to counseling. <BR> He told my W to make notes if I interrupt, Respond or break the rule of no talking about this for three days, To let him know. I am praying that I can do this. I am very Excited to here her thoughts & feelings I hope I can handle what I have been praying for.<P>Thanks to all for you help<P><BR>The road is long but the patient shall reap great rewards.<BR> Their love for them self & their Spouse<P> Through the love of God I have made another Day<P> LotsofHope<P><P>------------------<BR>

Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
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Joined: Jun 1999
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Hi there. I think that sounds like a very interesting assignment. Not a very easy thing to do. But I have faith in you, you want your marriage to work and you will do fine.

Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 1,232
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Joined: Feb 1999
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AND THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A COUNSELOR ....<P>But best of luck to you!

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 2,454
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Joined: May 1999
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Hi LotsofHope -<P>I like this.....it's a good exercise in communication.<P>Don't get nervous about it like it's a test!! You had me chuckling!!!<P>It's just so you and your wife can retrain your talking and listening skills....<P>Makes you focus on her words instead of on your replies..<P>You can do this...you're ready for it because you are opening up and becoming aware.....<P>Piece of cake!!!! Wil be for you, too Maya!!! LOL!!!<P>HUGS to you both,<P>Sheba <P>Gosh, I wish I was you guys!!! Could you see me calling H and saying "c'mon over Honey so I can take notes....only problem would be - he doesn't talk!!! LOL!!!!


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