Sex is like basketball: You always dribble before you shoot.

-ol' 2long

tlhIngan maH!

You were!

2long is the winner of the 200th poster prize.

A two week stay at the Cow Palace Best Western in Lamar Colorado!

Mine too...most of them on this board are. And we've survived...and are recovering.

You can too but not the way you are thinking it can be done...

nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

Second prize is a three week stay!

Only 1/4, on my moms side.
The rest is cherokee and Irish.

Down the hall on the right.
Be sure to jiggle the handle when you flush.

July is the time to go. Around 100 degrees every day and when the breeze floats in from the feedlot it's a cherished lifelong memory.

LAST prize is you have to live there...

Como te dicen algunos, la mayor�a de los casos aqu� son mucho peor que el tuyo. relaciones que duran mucho tiempo, ni�os involucrados etc sin embargo muchos matrimonios tambi�n se han recuperado y son mucho mejores que antes.

Aunque sea tienes que aprovechar esta oportunidad para aprender lo que debes hacer para proteger tu matrimonio de que haya infidelidad, tuya o de tu esposo.

sigue leyendo. yo voy a buscar un caso que recuerdo similar pero la busqueda no es facil... no funciona muy bien.

majQa'

lokil

I am sorry you hurt, and I know you are scared.
But you need to tell your husband and your freind.
It will be better in the long run if you do.

It's also the RIGHT thing to do.

Indeed
After all, it is the fastest growing language on the planet.

No thanks, I already spent a week there one day many years ago.

-ol' 2long

lokil,

Think about what might happen if this man one day decides that he must come clean to his wife, your friend. Imagine how hurt and angry she would be then. Think about what your husband will think of you, not only for the having sex with his friend but for the perhaps years of lying about it.

This has already affected your relationship with your husband since now you are keeping a secret from him that you must always live in fear of his finding out. Each day that you withhold it from him builds a wall between you that robs not only him but you of real intimacy. Once you set your life on the path of having to uphold a lie, everything you do gets colored by the lie. You will never be able to share honestly with your husband or your friend ever again because you will have to remain protective of the lie.

When you are with your husband you will be reminded of your failure keep your vows. If you are with your friend you will always be wondering if she knows or what she would say if she found out the truth. If you are with your husband and this other man you will be fixated on watching them for their interactions. If you are with your husband and this man's wife you will always fear that she may know and tell him. If your husband does something alone with the other man you will have to fear what may ensue. Consider what happens if your husband and this man become fast friends, learn to trust each other and then the truth comes out. Then the betrayal will be all the worse for the lies that have been told by you and this other man while maintaining the charade of friendship.

There simply is no way for you to maintain this as a secret and live a happy and fulfilling life with your husband. The wall of secrecy and lies must be built forever higher, wider, thicker until you will be unable to let him into the parts of your life that matter, those parts that reflect the real you.

If you tell the truth your friendship will be destroyed. You must know already that you can't really have the kind of friendship you once had because of this. You and the other man will never look at each other as friends ever again. The truth might end their marriage. The truth might end your own marriage. The act itself brought the friendship to an end and lying for the rest of your life about it will not return the friendship to what it was nor allow your marriage to be what it once was or what it should be and could be in the future.

Mark

This wasn't a one night stand. A one night stand is sleeping with someone you just met that you'll never see again.

Your friend's husband has probably been flirty and buttering you up for a long time because he's wanted to bang you for a long time. He's been trying to meet your needs of conversation and admiration for quite some time and you've probably allowed him to. He was WAY too close to you before this all went down. I'm sure you wouldn't have been seduced as easily by a stranger. You have boundary issues that you need to fix because you let this man get WAY too close to you. He won't be the last man to try and sleep with you, so you had better fix the way you interact with men.

I also have news for you. You probably aren't one the first woman he's cheated on your friend with. You had better get tested.

And ditto to what everyone else said. You already hurt your husband and your friend. Hiding it from them will only hurt them worse. You won't be able to keep it a secret. It will eventually come out, and when it does, it will be worse for you that you didn't fess up to it immediately.

You have already opened Pandora's box. It is too late to go back and try to pretend nothing happened.

Do you honestly believe that you can interact with these people and everything will be the same as always? It will be like nothing happened?

No. You and OM will be uncomfortable and trying too hard to "act normal". Your H and OM's wife will catch on to this. They will see something different in your behaviors. It might take them a while, but they will feel that something is "off". We've all been there. It is a horrible, horrible feeling. Especially when the person continues to pretend to be your friend after what they've done to you.

There is also the possibility that OM has had feelings for you for a while and this wasn't exactly a "mistake" on his part. Then he'll pursue you because you gave in once.

Unless you tell the truth, establish NC with OM and OM's wife (I can't really call her your friend, because IMO you don't do this to a friend no matter how drunk you are), and set Extraordinary Precautions, there is an open door for this to happen again.

drgnfly

I think another point that is being overlooked is that lokil and Mr. lokil are supposedly trying to start a family.

Bringing a child into the world without addressing the 400 lb. gorilla (the A) is a really bad idea.

The M must have a solid foundation before children our introduced into the equation. Burying the tryst will ensure that the foundation is built on a beach. At high tide. On a slab. ....(Okay, okay, analogy overkill......)

TB


TB