pretty much what scotland said.


Thanks. DD5 already leaked that they got me a shirt. So I will get something THIS fathers day. Didnt get anything last year. She said she had something special for me planned had to wait. After I complained 2 weeks later she got me a best buy gift card. Of course she was in the middle of her PA at that point. But I digress.

Wouldnt help. She is a "hard sell" thats the words she used the latest time I tried to get her to call Steve Harley. He thinks its amusing that she wants to make a decision first WITHOUT outside influence. To him thats like BUYING a car first and THEN looking up all the information on it. Its flawed logic.


Is there a plan A end date? There has to be. Its roughly 6 months after the start of PA or till my LB$ reaches critical levels. Steve is helping me keep track of that. Since the WW A is either so deep underground I cant see it or she called it off for now she is draining the bank too quickly. Its not like she is calling him from our home phone in front of me.

If i go PB now its because she FORCED me to by moving out,


Nope doesnt know it. She KNEW I had divorce papers filed. Didnt bother her really that she could have been divorced in 3 months with nothing. She didnt even get a lawyer. She should have been served last week with a temp hearing date of June 22nd. Thats not happening though. I dont wanna send mixed signals. If she moves out ill be able to catch her soon enough again so I can re-establish my grounds pretty quickly. Not really concerned if the complaint gets dropped. Not like I want a D anyway.

Hes a good man. Sad think is he has 2 daughters. BOTH have cheated on their husbands. He got the other daughter to move back to her husband and they are relatively happy now. Ive confided in him for years the concern about my M. He knows I was trying. He NEVER even suspected an A. Neither of us did. He knows we have a kid together (obviously) and is concerned about DD5. The thought of WW running off to Europe with the OM has him concerned too. I dont thinkhe really wants to take over all her credit cards and debts too taht she will get stuck with. She has no job and very little prospects since the field she worked in she cant do anymore do to the conditions she got fired under. She basically lost her clearance and no govt agency will take her now. Its really sad.

I appreciate it. Im trying to keep my head up. Its getting easier the more she withdraws ironically. That drains the LB$ and makes me less apt to be needy since her acts disgust me so. After the nights that she is distant its easy to see her go. Its those nights where we bond that it sucks.

I want us to be happy together too. It was easy for me to make my changes since I wanted her so much. Its hard seeing her to drag her feet since it comes across as her just not caring about me. In the end though ill be ok either way. Im a young guy with a great job in a field thats exploding with opportunities. Ive learned alot from this experience and me fixing my problems will carry over to the next relationship. I hope thats with the WW but if its not then Ill get by. Only thing that sucks is buying so many new clothes. Ive dropped 4 inches off my waist so the suits I bought just a month ago Ive already had to get altered.

scotland, i thought i had read everything--i thought plan A is generally advised for 6 months max, w/ the understanding that plan B goes into immediate effect if WS fails to honor NC agreement. does WS share that understanding?? i had always assumed so--that's what one gets for assuming, huh?

i didn't know if WS would be advised of impending "deadline", whether BS would implement plan B whenever they reached their own personal threshold of tolerance, or whether BS would propose an internal PA goal and extend it/cut it short as WS's actions warranted.

so...it's arbitrary? bottom line, is the wayward spouse SUPPOSED to be aware that they have a finite timeframe in which they can decide to step up or step out?

this is fundamental, and i've totally misunderstood it. i have a solid grasp on what the intentions and goals of PA and PB entail, but i totally missed the basics: let me get this straight, WSs have no externally imposed ultimatum?

Sorry that I haven't posted lately. I just got back from Ireland last night. I know you are hurting. I really think you have done a great job of plan A. However, I think you should start planning for plan B. Maybe not yet, but I might not let the divorce drop. I might let it go on and get everything set up for plan B. Afraid you seem like you are talking out of both sides of your mouth? Don't worry about it. She has been using you for quite some time.

She has basically moved out already which will hurt her custody case. It doesn't matter as much about her being in the house during the day, but rather where the overnights are. That is how they determine custody. She has basically given you custody and you don't have to worry about spousal support. Your WW is broke, so let her feel the pain of leaving you. Once you get this all settled, then I would go to plan B. You have done a good plan A, and the consequences of divorce will hit her hard. When is OM going to Europe? He might not even be an option at that point. Either way, your WW can't go because she has a kid and can't leave the state.

Why does she not have a job yet? Is she even looking? Who cares that she can't get one in "her field." Go get a job at Walmart or Starbucks. Beggars can't be choosey. There isn't any job "beneath you" if you don't currently have one. It's all up from unemployed.

I think the simple fact of the matter is you need to make the best decisions for your life right now. That means protecting your assets and custodial rights while fighting for your marriage. Remember, not all marriages should be saved. Your mistake may have been marrying this woman and having children with her in the first place. Not all women are marriage material. You do a thorough plan A and possibly plan B to find that out.

Let me share something with you that I don't generally get into on the board. Yes, I ended my WW's affair and get her "committed" to the marriage. But looking back, I probably shouldn't have married her or even tried to save my marriage. My WW never committed to MB and is an obsessive control freak who wants to do things her way. She has a long list of compulsions and anxieties and my feelings and needs continue to get overlooked. I just got back from a 10 day vacation with her in Ireland and I'm seriously debating whether or not I should divorce her. I mean it is my vacation, and I couldn't stand her after 10 whole days together. She's like Kate Gosselin if you get my reference, and I don't want to involve children in it or go off and act like a douche (Jon Gosselin) later.

Bottom line is, I was once a very needy, emotional mess like you during my WW's affair. You do the plan A and possibly plan B to see if the marriage is actually worth saving, and then you need to not accept anything less than what you expect out of a marriage. Not all marriages should be saved. You will be better off as a result of the process, and whatever happens is for the best. You will grow and be a better man, and that is what you need to focus on, not things that you have no control over.

She is working part time for FIL. maybe 1 day a week. he is going to hire her permanently but its a huge downgrade from her old job. Right now she is just sitting around on facebook all day playing games avoiding problems.

I have thought about that. The what ifs. If she doesnt want to commit to the MB program. If she just drags back into the M because its the easy route. She has shown she is very prone to an A since she has been both the OW and the WW.

I guess the litmus test will be how she responds to Steve Harley. If she gets on board then I think we have a decent chance. If she refuses the program because its too hard....

Not sure. Its supposedly soon. The FIL is trying to find out when he has orders cut. All indications are he is afraid to death of me causing more problems for him at work and loosing his retirement. 17 years in the Military is alot to throw away. Especially for a girl that already left him one time.


I know what your saying. Im scared of recovery in alot of ways. My wife is an VERY private person and I think she is going to resist EPs alot. She has always said "Its all about me". I use to think that was a joke but anymore im not sure. I dont know if she will ever be truelly happy. She lost tons of her self esteem when she got fired from her dream job. Alot of her self worth came from that job. She isnt getting that same self worth from being a stay at home mom. She also gets a little upset at me as well. I operate a nuclear reactor with a high school education. She has a college degree and is in mensa and cant get a job right now.

To answer you earlier question she never looked for a job. When I confronted her about it she told me that she needed time to figure things out. She went to another town instead on a day trip. This was during the A and of course OM went with her. She was avoiding her problems and still is.

She is also very entitled. She is NOT a cheap date. She loves fine dining and the nicer things in life. She loves expensive paintings. When she worked I paid almost all of the bills. Now she isnt working and she is missing that stuff. If we stay together im going to have to tackle that sizable debt she built up. Not going to be a good time.


Part of me hopes that she will leave. Then she can hit rock bottom and find out truelly what D would be like. I know there is life after this. If she recommits though we NEED a plan and I hope I can get her on the MB recovery bus.

I asked steve a question about what if she comes back reluctantly. He called that the Martyr mentality. The poor me im giving up my life and dreams for the greater good of the child and to take care of my husband. he needs me so.

Steve says that happens alot and he can work with it. Im really depending on him to try to reach her. Hopefully he can convince her that the program CAN work. Its possible she will get the holy spirit in her and commit like some of the other FWS on the board.

When things were going bad it was rough. When we went on trips together and had the massive deposits in the LB$ and TONS of UA time things got better. We didnt want to leave our little world on the cruise ship. Hopefully I can connect the 2 in her mind. That we can capture that. That it wasnt the location it was the UA time. With that much time together we can overflow the LB$. Thats my goal.

Its one of things I have to try in life. I have to try everything to save my M. If i dont ill never forgive myself. I just cant look in DD5s eyes and tell her daddy gave up on mommy. If she refuses to let me guide her back to the lighthouse then thats another story. I know you know what I mean.

Sorry the trip to ireland didnt go well. I know that expectations that arent met can be a HUGE drain on your LB$. I really hope you can turn the corner and salvage your M. Maybe a session or so with steve or jennifer could help? Maybe some professional councilling with a therapist for her other anxieties could help. My wife refuses to take antidepressants even though i think they would help her alot. I know the path your up against.

best of luck to you and look forward to chatting you up some more now you are back.

the martyr mentality--i though i was the originator of that term! YEG, i was the POSTER CHILD for the martyr mentality. look, here's something i posted forever ago on the other thread you had started:


here's another thought--she's an attractive, intelligent woman. she's in MENSA, for goodness sake. she's probably derived her confidence in the past from other peoples' perception of her. now she has every reason to feel like utter crap, she's probably avoiding Steve because she's convinced he's going to make her feel even worse, and she's face to face with the person who knows EXACTLY how far she's fallen and who has no reason to still love her, respect her, etc.

after my affair was really over, i wanted to disappear. i didn't want to run away w/ OM or anything, i just felt that i wasn't fit for human company. i wanted to become a hermit and go live in a cave in the woods until i could get my mind right. i fantasized about a separation NOT so i could prepare myself for a divorce, but because i wanted to go far away and come back a better, changed person who was WORTHY of my husband's love. it's damned hard to reinvent yourself when your BH is right there.

She doesnt want to give me false hope as well. She is ashamed about what she has done and her moral collapse. I have every reason to boot her out. She was never a dreamboat to live with. She never met all my needs (she use to meet enough though). Then she goes and has an A for her selfish reasons. She deserves to get thrown on her [censored] for her treachery.

She says she doesnt blame me being angry at her. I think she would LOVE for me to just get the D. Then she could be a real martyr and say how I booted her out. Never says the entire story of course.


I dont think she wants a D. She never once asked me for 1. She just expected it. Now she doesnt know what she wants. She spent SO damn long painting me as an ogre that she forgot im a decent guy at heart. The sad thing is she doesnt know that I can be an ogre. She will see some reprecussions if I enter PB.

I dont think thats it at all. Maybe in your case but I think she is being selfish and greedy and only cares about her own feelings. Thats the Wayward mentality. I dont think she will run off with the OM since he will be poison now. If she moves out she WILL get involved with someone though. Steve said serial cheaters do it because they have little control over thier emotions. They follow their heart no matter the cost. If its not this OM it will just be another. Especially if her needs arent getting met by anyone.

She WILL realize eventually that she misses me. I just hope its not too late.

I WILL NOT WAIT FOREVER FOR HER. There are plenty of other women that have been to the show. They want a professional man to take care of them and show them the love I can provide. In the 20s all women cares about was looks. In their 30s its all about security. I wont stay on the market long especially since im willing to work on a relationship.

While it will be pretty easy to find a suitable replacement for my WW it wont be easy for her to find someone that can be as good of a provider, father, and as understandable as im being. Cute divorced women are a dime a dozen. Men that can provide that security AND are willing to commit are NOT.

Im not a real believer in soulmates and the one true love thing. Dont get me wrong I love my wife. Im putting forth all this effort rearranging deck chairs on the titanic for her. I know the person she USE to be and want to see if I can be with HER again. I dont want to be with the women that raped me emotionally for years. That every time things get a little rough runs to an OM for a little sympathy. Im not a doormat anymore. I CAN DO BETTER. There is life after divorce. I want my old wife back or a new improved version. Not this wayward alien that made me feel worthless and unlovable.

yeg,
I read your thread and I agree with you.


I am still waiting for WH to commit to NC. Since there is none, I find it really hard to relate to him and even his efforts of trying to fix the M when contact persists.
But I think you are doing really great, if only I can do the same as you, then maybe NC can come to my doorstep?

I will pray for you too.

All you can do is do the best PA you can. Its really sad but as my love for her gets chipped away I do a better and better PA. When she is mean to me or just doesnt care it just doesnt get to me as much. Maybe its the new dosage of anti depressants kicking in.


All we can do is follow the plan. It puts us way ahead of them since they really dont have any plan what so ever. They can try to push us away and we stand pat. If they run away we cant stop them. We can just stand at a distance and let them bang around blind in the room. Hopefully they will have the sense to turn on a light.
Thanks. I appreciate it.

Fathers day report.
Nothing big really happened till the end of the night. We went to church together. Message was on character. How you can measure your character as what you do when no one is watching. Also how all you do that you THINK is in private will eventually be revealed. Im sure she loved that.

She got me a very nice card, shirt and a pair of dockers.

Had a decent run. Lost about 2 pounds this week. Not bad overall.

End of the night she is fixing to leave. Im just folding clothes and doing the normal PA routine. She stops me and tellsme she is willing to do a day trip on sunday. Its our anniversary. The condition was that I couldnt buy her presents or a card. Told her that was unnacceptable because I had already bought her a present. She told me I was lieing.

So I brought her presents down and gave them to her. TOld her happy fathers day. She told me she wasnt a father and didnt get presents. I just told her I wanted to have our day trip. She then started getting upset because now SHE was going to have to estimate how much they cost and get me something the same value.

I got really pissed at this. I dont want her money. I just want to see her all happy when she gets things. So i told her that. I then asked her didnt she know how much I cared for her?

She said," I understand your afraid of losing me"

My head about spun off. I told that I NEVER stopped loving her or trying to do things for her. She wouldnt let me. I asked her if she knew how many times I tried to call her when she was with OM. How many messages were on the phone. I told her how much it hurt me. How I thought I was giving her what she needed by letting her go on all those trips by herself to "find herself". Mean while the only thing she was finding was another man on top of her. I told her that being raped by another man was a billion times less hurtful than the pain she had caused me. I wasnt exaggerating either.

I told her I should have known better that all the signs were there. The stone on her engagement ring may be loose but there was nothing wrong with the band. Asked her if she even remembered the last time she wore it. I basically just told her I never STOPPED loving her.

By this point she is crying. She just asked me, "When did I become such a horrible person?" I told her she wasnt a horrible person. She was a person that made mistakes. I told her im ready to forgive her. Im ready to start to try to recover our M. I think we need guidance to succeed but im willing to do it.

At this point she is just absorbed in her self pity though. All she would say was that she was a terrible person. I just held her and sopped up the tears on her cheeks with some napkins. I told her everything was going to be alright. I told her I was with her and would take care of her.

This went on for about 30 minutes. Finally she just wanted to go. I told her she needed to just stay. That she should just let me help her. I told her I had by hand out to her. That i wanted to pull her out of this. All she had to do was grab my hand. Just shook her little wayward head no.

I told her I wasnt going to run. That I was staying and had promised to love honor and cherish and thats exactly what I was doing. I also stressed this was definatly more towards the "bad times" but that we can recover from it. I told her That she cant make me run no matter how hard she tries. That I couldnt stop her from running away from me though. I would be there to pick her up when she was ready though.

I talked to her about using the love we still have for each other as a new foundation for our M. The good thing about hitting the bottom is that you can build on the bedrock. You can make things better.

In the end she ended up leaving. She was spent emotionally. I didnt get emotional at all. Said everything matter of fact.

The sad part is I now know that I WONT wait forever. I can feel my love for her getting chipped away a little every day. Its starting to bother me less and less when she leaves. She is killing the love I have for her. I can see why people HAVE to go to Plan B now. Im not at the minimum balance yet but I know its out there.

I can also see why people can get lost and get in an A themselves. You hurt so bad and just want someone to care for you. I can feel myself being more and more attracted to other women. Im basically having to set up EPs on myself so I wont be tempted. When Im running I dont LOOK at other women. I just put my head down and stare at the cement till they pass. I have to stop myself from even talking to women that arent my wife. I dont want to be tempted to tell personal information to anyone but her.

Sad thing is PA is actually going ALOT better the more I fall out of love with her. I feel like im just going through the motions and playing out the string. That she is already decided to leave. She just hast got the courage too. Its helping me run the 180 too. I genuinely want to do things for myself now. its not just an act. I just dont feel like a whipping boy anymore.

Im still taking care of her needs that she will let me. Im actually running a really GOOD PA atm. Not pushing anymore. No desperate compliments or trying to chat her up when she is not in the mood. Im not as tolerant of he little whims. While I want to take care of her im not afraid to manhandle her a bit and put her in her place. She kinda digs it a bit too I think.

I guess you should be careful what you pray for. I asked for patience and strength. I have that now. Its just because ive accepted that her leaving is inevitable now. That she is just working up the courage too. I EXPECT a PB situation. Im still doing a great PA and the 180 is finally working well. Its because Ive accepted the fact that she is already gone finally. Its sad but true.

The good thing though is by continuing to follow the plan the guilt I use to feel is gone. Im confident im doing everything that I can to save my wife. To pull her out of the abyss. If she doesnt want to grab my hand I cant force her.

They should put a sign on these boards. Abandon Ye all hope those that enter here. When hope goes it gets easier. I know that if she recommits I will be able to drive the recovery bus now because Im not interested unless its on my terms. Just her leaving doesnt bother me as much anymore. It would be a relief in alot of ways.

Please dont think im giving up guys. I am still doing the right stuff. I just refuse to slip on the same banana peel over and over and get my guts ripped out everytime the fog comes back in. Its better to pull back from the situation a little and save myself the HUGE LB$ withdrawals when she says the cruel things. By accepting that she is that alien and the lost little girl im slowing the erosion of myself.

Yes, it is normal. You are lovingly detaching from her craziness. Your lovebank is being drained.

Short update

Typical night nothing big.

I did break the no Relationship talk rule but for good reason.
I asked her if she has decided on anything yet. She says she is still deciding. I stressed the fact that i wanted her to return to the M. That i loved her and wanted to take care of her. I also pointed out the fact that I was ready to move past the A but i would ahve to have some answers first to lingering questions i had.

I also pointed out to her that i would need some boundaries. I didnt use those words. I pointed out the fact that she STILL has him on facebook. That it killed me everytime i walked in and see it minimized in her tray. Were they talking together? told her how much it was hurting me.

I also pointed out in very clear terms that i wanted honesty in my life. she asked for me or her. I said both.

I asked her what she would be willing to do if she decided she would recommit. She said she would talk about it then. I asked her what her plans were if she was to leave me. She said she would talk about that then. Basically totally noncommited to any thoughts on recovery. She is totally just avoiding that for now.

I told her that I was willing to work with her financially if she was to stay in the M.

I also told her that it hurts me SOO much what im going through right now. That because of this pain there was no possibility that we would stay friends if she were to leave me.

The big thing was that i asked her what her time frame was on a decision. days, weeks or months. She says she hoped it would be less than weeks.

Right before she left i asked her for an answer one way ot another by the end of the month. She told me she would try.

This is important because ill have to serve her early july if im not going to let my case drop. Id prefer to have an answer by then so I can decide if its going to be reconciliation papers or a petition for divorce.

We will see what happens.

WW is jerking you around.

To not let the date lapse. You must file and file now.

Divorces can and have been stopped. Marriages have been recovered after divorce.

Again why are you having relaationship talks?

Plan A her but do not say you will give her money. Stop all this desparate pleading. Stop telling her how her banging the OM is hurting you. Stop acting weak, needy, hurt, begging.

Plan A is about showing how you have changed. Showing is not telling her you have changed. Showing her how her life can be happier married to you then the OM.

Weak: why are you still on FB with the OM, why is OM not blocked

Strong: Close down FB I will not accept you conducting your affair in front of my face

This one was to give her a deadline basically. That way I can serve her with a clear conscience.


Was no pleading. No begging. I asked her what she was doing. No tears on either side for a change. Never once begged her to stay.


I thought I was supposed to tell her how her adulterous actions are hurting me and my family.

As per the OM on FB I kinda screwed up there. I just thought it would mean more if she removed him than I did. I KNOW from the KL that she has not spoke to him on FB since 5/12. She did go to his FB page one time though a few weeks ago. If she was chatting with him I would have done it.

Its filed. I just have 60 days to serve her and that day is rapidly approaching.

If she was carrying on an active affair I would be much more aggressive. There is only 1 time that I that there was possible contact. I cant verify the contact though. No other contact that I can find.

YEG,

I can't begin to tell you what to do. You must make that call yourself. But, as I said before, your WW is spewing the EXACT same flavor of fog talk that mine did.

"Still deciding" means still stringing you along with no intention of recommitting. I know this sounds harsh, but you can take it to the bank.

All this talk also means there is still contact going on. I'm 100% sure on that, and as long as there is contact there is no chance of her making any movement towards recommitting.

This will not change between now and the end of the month.

I agree with Schtoop. She will continue with this as long as you allow it. Why should she make a hard choice? Fence sitting is so much easier!

That convo last night makes you still sound weak and needy. C'mon YEG! Why are you letting WW dictate the timeline here? You look weak to her and you are giving her all of the power. Bad choice. She will continue to fence sit as long as you let her. You set the deadline. If you need to know by the end of the month then set that deadline.

Sorry to smack you up side the head here but you are still sounding weak and needy. Not a good plan to get a WW off of the fence.

That's you being strong. That's you, as JWMC said, "lovingly detaching from her craziness."

you've done a brilliant job with Plan A. it's LOGICAL to want to give her one last go at an open discussion of where your relationship stands, but here's the thing--she's starting to get weepy and remorseful, and if you give her something to rebel against, she will POUNCE on that.

do WE think you're being needy, whiny, etc? no. will your WW be able to skew your words and actions so she can keep believing that YOU'RE the bad guy? yes.

the date is an ultimatum in and of itself. don't let her last memory of Plan A be of perceived pressure and begging. does it matter that you're not really pressuring her or begging her? not to her, it doesn't. if she can remember it that way, it will allow her to continue to wallow in self-pity and delay the onset of fog-dispersion.

Plan B if necessary before her attitude breaks your resolve. she's wearing you down. maybe she needs to MISS you a little.

if you've got more solid Plan A-grade patience in you, take up a risky sport or an off-the-wall hobby or something. make some new friends (always respectful of boundaries, of course). build a house for Habitat for Humanity or something.

let her see a new and intriguing facet of your personalityso she can't twist her mental image of who you are and is forced to see you in a new light: hey, who's this interesting hard-working lean guy i've been seeing around the house lately? this guy's ELIGIBLE. oh wait...he's already my HUSBAND.

"This one was to give her a deadline basically. That way I can serve her with a clear conscience."

"Was no pleading. No begging. I asked her what she was doing. No tears on either side for a change. Never once begged her to stay."

I'll write it slow so maybe you will grasp it: n o r e l a t i o n s h i p t a l k.

Repeatedly asking WW if she is going to come back is begging even if their are no tears.

Assertive is go NC with the OM now or pack you clothes and get out now.

Yes that's being real strong asking the WW to decide if she is going to give up the OM as you hive her more time to keep banging the OM to make sure she likes SF with the OM more.

"I thought I was supposed to tell her how her adulterous actions are hurting me and my family."

You can not teach a WW.

"Its filed. I just have 60 days to serve her and that day is rapidly approaching."

Why give the OM 60 more days?

To bang your WW 60 more times.

Because you can't verify contact does not mean that their is NC.

Ill serve her if she doesnt make a decision by the end of the month. I wont let it lapse.

I can tell you I wont do any more relationship talk prior to the end of the month.

I will ask her if she has made a decision prior to me filing. It may be weak but one more time isnt going to matter. I'll file for custody and kick her out of the house if she doesn't recommit.

All I can tell you is I am getting No action on either the VARs, her cell phone, the GPS or the keylogger.

If she is still making contact then she will continue to have her [censored] glued to the fence. Then she will get tossed out and probably lose custody depending on what the judge thinks at least on a temp basis. If she is not then she will get pissed at the ultimatum and leave or decide to stay for the better good of our family.

Ill be honest with yall. Im starting to feel waywardish myself. I am starting to get attracted to other women again. I get curious what it would be like with another women that might treat me better. Im imposing EPs on myself to prevent one but its getting harder and harder to resist. When im running I dont even look at other women. I look at the pavement. At vacation bible school there was a nice looking girl on the stage teaching the kids. SHe had glasses and very nice black hair. All I could think about was how much she reminded me of my last GF before the wife and wondered if she was married. I had to force myself to look away and literally occupy my mind on other things.

In all honesty the WW hasnt met my needs in YEARS. Its possible she wasnt good M material from the start. Calling her a player maybe too harsh but she has cheated on a fiance, with a married man and now her husband.

Id rather bargain and be in a position of power during negotiations. Feel more cornered so she may be willing to participate in recovery. Even if she recommits she wont say what she is willing to do.

All I can go on is what I see and how she is responding. She seems to be going through withdrawals. Her parents and I speak everyday about it. They agree as well.

Its a crap place to be regardless. Ill just add a couple weeks after her being served then go plan b and be done with it. I can tell you at this rate ill make it maybe a year in PA. First boyfriend she openly gets im just getting the D. The hell with her.

I love my daughter but living life in a crap marriage with someone that doesnt want me and is doing the bare minimum to stay with me isnt my idea of a good time.

Im not giving up on WW yet. Its just getting harder and harder to deal with her and justify myself going through this pain for a woman who wont even reach out for the ladder out of the quicksand.