Ok Mehr.
Time to get the lawyer to WORK for you (and do WHAT YOU SAY) rather than the other way around. I would call my attny in the am and say the following:
1)I cannot feed my kids as we have no money
2)I NEED AN EMERGENCY HEARING asap b/c we aren't being given money from my cheating husband who is spending it on the ow while we starve.
3)he got A HUGE CHECK because he wrecked his car and is trying to use ALL THAT MONEY to buy a brand new car he can't afford to impress his mistress rather than giving me half since I can't eat.
4)Since he is emotionally disturbing the children, I am asking you to NOW SET UP AN EMERGENCY HEARING FOR ME and I WANT SOLE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS.
5)WH barely sees the kids anymore, muchless provides for us at all.
6)I may not be worth much now, but I am a human, and as my attorney, I employ YOU.
Next call the local wic agency and find out about the SNAP food program for those who are in dire need. Right now you qualify.
You see, once I remember eating only spaghetti because I had to give my son and pets the food with meat back when I was so broke b/c my xwh did the same thing. Claimed he couldn't pay cs or anything and I had just started all over again in a far away state with no family. Few friends. I was financially ruined by the man, but went to court and fought and fought and then got some justice.
It took a few years to get the final justice though.
Right now girl, you're fighting a full fledged alien. Imho, any man who wouldn't feed his own kids before the belly of a tramp is no man at all. A pathetic creature.
it's time to stand tough Mehr. You do WHATEVER you can for your children. You stand up to the evil and go plan B on him and also secure full custody. This guy doesn't want kids around his fantasy affair.
My xwh did the same thing. On weeks when his wistress wife didnt' have visitation with her child from a prior relationship (she was never married, and her xboyfriend had PRIMARY custody of their son..what kind of mom has that? A SLEAZY one who was shacking up with a married man, that's who!), they would go out and pretend they were dating. Freaky scary.
My xwh crapped away over 120k before we could get him into court, rest he hid with inlaws and more he hid overseas. All we could trace was approx 120k. It was disgraceful.
Quit w/the emotions Mehr. Right now you have kids who are devastated, and a cupboard which might be bare. YOU have to take some action right now to do what is right for those kids! You call your parents, your inlaws, anybody who can help and tell them "My husband is having an affair, spending $ left and right on the other woman and leaving us to starve with no money and FOUR children."
You call the attorney first in the morning! Next, the local wix office and get some food assistance or call a local church. Quit worrying about what the wayward is or is not doing.
If you take care of business, I sure DO know what your wayward WILL BE DOING SOON if he doesn't keep up his responsibilities. He will BE DOING TIME. Have your attny ask him how he feels about the color orange. Is it his color?
Time to be tough. Right now is not about marriage building. Or affair stopping. It is about RAISING CHILDREN AND BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT. And that also means going to court to support them and to secure their not so distant futures by having them reside WITH YOU ALONE due to the extreme emotional abuse handed down by their uncaring and unproviding father who has ABANDONED the family.
Here's your grounds in case you forgot and the basis for you getting an emergency hearing for the establishment of support and custody:
1)abandonment: he left the home and marriage and children to go and live with another woman, a married one (isn't she?)
You don't even KNOW where he lives anymore.
2)adultery: he is living with his affair partner in plain sight
3)emotional abuse: You are traumatized by this event, by the sheer abandonment and the kids are devastated, crying, sobbing, and worried about what will happen to them and why their daddy DOESN'T SEE THEM anymore.
4)financially impoverished: He refuses to pay any amount of money or a fair amount towards child support (WHICH SHOULD BE SUBSTANTIAL IF FOUR KIDS..HE WILL BE LIVIN MEAGER NOT YOU MEHR!)He has provided NO financial help and only pays for dates with his mistress, and is trying to buy a BRAND NEW CAR after wrecking his present car, and steal JOINT FAMILY MONIES in order to do so.
5)You're starving! You all need THE BEST SETTLEMENT you can get. The upper upper limit of the range of child support AND you also get SPOUSAL support, since you're mom to all four kids.
6)Because of the emotional abuse of the kids and their being completely distraught and his absence and abandonment of the kids, YOU SEEK FULL CUSTODY of the kids.
This is what you ask for and what YOU TELL THAT D@MN ATTORNEY TO DO FOR YOU TOMORROW MORNING AS SOON AS THEIR SHOES WALK IN THEIR LEGAL OFFICE.
Trust me, there's nothing more a family judge hates to see than a man run off and squander family assets, spending like he's Trump, while he abandons his wife and kids leaving them to hang in the breeze, suffering. NO judge allows that to happen. And if your wh doesn't comply when you get your emergency decree, he will go to jail.
Stick to plan B too. Let wh hear from the IM AND YOUR LAWYER AND THE JUDGE NOW.
Look Mehr. With a little security and peace of mind and money in the bank and food on the table, life will not be as bad. Trust me, I've been here before. Once you can breathe a little, you begin the moving forward business, which is good
.
maybe the wayward will wake up. Maybe not. But YOU will recover from this and move forward!
Albizia I hope you read this because this was directed soemwhat towards you too!!!