Az Im glad you updated
When forced withe decision to move out or work on our marriage, she chose the latter Ok I am assuming you mean she choses to "work on the M?"
But she is not on board with any plan yet? Does she expects your M to be driven by intuition? Many way-wards do. She is also still sounding foggy. Unrepentant spouse's are problematic in many ways. Sometimes as the fog lifts that changes, others go on to never recovering and end up right back here (im proof in the pudding)returning to a PRE A state of there M and usually another Affair.
I suggest you start dripping some "ideas" on her if you aren't willing to demand a plan to recover yet. But make no mistake sooner or later you have to set that bar.
If you have discussed emotional needs with her and she understands them then whats her problem with fulfilling YOURS? As a man I can say I could only take no SF for a limited time before my love bank gets really low. Also I want to point out that it can sometimes be a sign of an ongoing A that has went underground if she is unwilling to meet at least some SF needs on occasion.
Ok lets talk about demands for a second. There are 2 types of demands. Selfish demand benefit only one while unselfish demands benefit the mass. Unselfish demands are not love busters. So dripping "Ideas" (unselfish demands) can start taking place even in the fog.
POLICY OF JOINT AGREEMENT. I would ask her to agree to it to set the stage for unselfish demands. Print it and give it to her and then read it together. Give her all kinds of the benefits it would have for her and the M. Then ask her to agree with it. If she does the stage has been set.
His Needs Her Needs go hand in hand with POJA. If she agrees to POJA then you can ask her to agree on just about every topic that will come up regarding your M. " Honey I have a need for sex with you and to hold you close to my heart. I dont feel we have been meeting that need. I suggest we set some time apart to meet that need for us tomorrow evening. Or is there a better time for us to work on that? If she balks remind her of the POJA and that you dont agree. This can be applied to everything. From dinner to sex.
"Time" recovering from this and building a great M can take years. Its so complex that it has to be done in baby steps, so patience is a huge virtue. (LOL @MYSELF, im not really a patient man) But I have had to learn to be patient.
AZ dont settle for just going back to the old M. Practice what you have learned dont just preach it. YET. But sooner or later you will have to raise that bar for yourself not her. For now see if time helps with the foggy not in love with you crapola.