See, if you tell her, she will tell HIM and that will give them a chance to concoct a STORY............about YOU. You don't even want to give them a heads up.

Let them find this all out by SURPRISE. That way they have no chance to put together some story about that crazy, jealous, insane nutjob, Mr MoveMountains, who imagines that every man is out to get his wife.

You did a great job in standing up for your marriage and your daughter's family, Sir!! Just brace yourself for some serious incoming for the next 2 days and be prepared. Don't let it daunt you one bit.

It will blow over and then you will be in a better position to save your marriage. We will be here to support you.

Not only do you not tell her but prepare yourself to hear the most vile threats when she does find out via other people.
You will not believe the evil and scary things that come out of exposed wayward's mouths. Designed to shut you the heck up so as to not further mess up their fantasy romance world.

Whatever she says, be prepared and do not appear visually flustered or intimidated by what she shoots towards you.

I have a good support network of great friends, a counselor & now you guys. I just want to be able to honestly answer yes the question "Daddy, did you do everything to save us?"

Your WW will more than likely be livid. Stay calm, stay the course. Don't allow her to pull you into a heated debate - that's what she's looking for.

WW: You IDIOT!! What have you DONE!!! I'll never trust you again! I was going to work on the marriage, but you can FORGET it now!! I'll never be able to face anyone in this town again!!! You've ruined my job!!!

MM: I'm so sorry you feel that way, WW. I'm sorry that you don't understand that I'll do whatever it takes to save my marriage. Hey, you want to go out for Chinese tonight? There's a special at Keith Wong's All You Can Eat.

WW: Are you CRAZY!!!??? Like I'd want to do anything in public with you now!! You've totally humiliated me!!! Our marriage is OVER!!!

MM: I'm so sorry you feel you feel that way, WW. So, Chinese is out? How about I make you some great spaghetti and meatballs? (or whatever) I can whip up a pretty mean sauce!

WW: (becoming flustered)You're not even listening to a word I say!! You're crazy!!!

MM: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO A WORD THAT I SAY. I told you: I will do whatever it takes to save my marriage. Now. Would you like Chinese, or pasta?

Repeat as needed.

\

THAT is what it is all about, MM. You brought tears to my eyes. This is what I tell folks who allow their fear to keep them paralyzed. We are ALL afraid, but that cannot be allowed to supercede the welfare of our children. You stood up for your DAUGHTER today, Sir. You can honestly answer that you did everything in your power to save your marriage. And you did so bravely and courageously.

I have said a prayer for you and wanted to assure you that God is on YOUR SIDE, the side of RIGHT, and not on the side of the affair.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name�s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Thank you MelodyLane.

MM
Proud of you, man.

I remember every second of the moment seven years ago when i called OMs GF and heard her heart break when she heard of her partner's affair.

Then I puked in bushes. Within thirty seconds Squid( my wife) texted me to say " thats it ! You have just killed our marriage".

But if being a cringing coward was what was required to keep her home, I didn't want it. Like all men I am made from dirt OUTSIDE Eden. I am a warrior: a defender. With that call I became the Knight I was designed as, no longer the cringing serf I had become.

You have done the same MM. I don't know you but I am proud of you and I pray God will strengthen your arm in this righteous battle.

"I am sorry you are angry but I will do what I think is right for our marriage and our family".

all blessings !

Praying for you MM - EXPOSURE Rocks and you did superb. Although it may not feel like it; you are in the driver's seat and everything is working towards your marriage being saved.

Keep up a stellar Plan A until this EXPOSURE settles. Come here to vent, yell, scream, curse, or to your garage with a punching bag.

Look Spectacular and smell even better for her. Maybe surprise her with a mani/pedi on Sunday just so she knows you are her Knight.

God Bless Tough~

Do not accept any blame for the consequences that are about to befall them. Remember that it is not the EXPOSURE that made the consequences happen -- it was the AFFAIR.
They both knew the risks going in.

Your wife is about to become a spitting, fire
breathing demon. Be prepared. Do not deny exposure. Be proud of it. (but let her be surprised!). When she accuses you of exposure, say "yes, I told OMW!". She will accuse you of ruining their marriage. Calmly remind her that SHE (your wife) is the one who did that!

Welcome to MB, MM

You are doing great. Be prepared for WW's head explosion and the verbal acid but you did THE RIGHT THING by exposing.

My children were close in age to your DD when I exposed. Keep it child appropriate...she doesn't need gory detail but also don't make the seriousness of the matter "soft." Children are smart and can understand simplicity. It's us adults that get all weird about truth and make things 100x harder than they have to be. Think of this as a life lesson to instill in your child about how you treat your people/family and the consequences of actions/poor choices. Children need to be educated.

Good luck to you!!!

Me either. Exposure is not pleasant but being a cringing coward is the last thing a BS should be...more than likely to be in a marriage that never recovers. If a WS leaves over exposure, a BS is better off.

OMG - The OMW just sent me this email & copied my wife & her husband:
While I appreciate your efforts in trying to save your marriage, I am in a battle to save my own. I know you feel betrayed over what has occurred; however, your contact with me has proved more like a retaliation and has done nothing to better the relationships in either of our marriages. If you are looking for an ally, you will not find one in me. As you mentioned concern for the legal implications in this situation, I find none, as this was a mutual relationship that occurred outside of school hours. My current focus is on my husband and children and every ounce of your attention shall be directed the same.
I hope you realize that by opening discussions and the sharing of said emails and texts outside of the scope of our families will only serve as an attack on the relationships we are trying to preserve and could be a further detriment to our children.
I wish your family strength as you work towards recovery, but ask that you have no additional contact with me or my family during this time.

What now?

You did your job. You do not need the OMW as a partner, in fact, she has shown her hand. She is using shame, blame, reasongin and even her children for pity that you do not get her husband canned.

Keep up the good fight.

Fogbabbly at its finest.

There are two options here:

1) OM sent the email to make it look like it was from OMW.

2) OM is threatening divorce and OMW is scarred out of her shorts he will do it. She is weak at the moment and that is how she is coping.

You did wonderful - this is the best response you can have. You can consider this affair almost dead. By the end of the day it may have the file bullet through it depending on how the school responds.

This is the best response you could have gotten. Congratulations your EXPOSURE is killing this affair dead!!!!

That is typical, MM.

Ignore her. She is scared, hurt, embarrased, in denial and many other things. That should not change what you do. I would respond back to her. Will post some suggests on what to say in the response that may plant a seed into her head. And there are legal implications in your situation...she is dead wrong about that.

She's in damage-control mode. MM, she's going to be loyal to her H over a stranger. It's unfortunate that she has told you that the two of you will not be 'allies' but it's not unusual. And that's fine. Your goal in contacting her was accomplished, MM. Now she knows. Now there will be scrutiny on OM.

Let me translate her email for you:
She gets it. She knows how bad this is.

Your WW was boinking a person in authority over her. OM could get the ax for this. This BW is more than likely keenly aware of that. Those are the implications she's probably most worried about. She's distracting you from that by directing your attention to when their meetings occurred.

She wants you to help her bury this. Not unusual for BS's who don't understand the long-ranging affects of exposure toward protecting their M.

I would send her a final email and say words to the effect of "I just wanted to let you know that I did receive your email about no further contact with you. I will respect you and not contact you again. I believe you will be working hard in your way to heal your marriage, and I hope you can appreciate that I will be doing the same. I will not contact you again, but I want you to know that you are welcome to contact me at any time if you need to for any reason."

BE SURE AND CC THE OM AND YOUR WIFE!!

Dear OMW, I appreciate your email and want to assure you that any actions I take are for the purpose of protecting our families from the assault of our spouse's adultery and is not being done in retaliation. It is affairs and lies that poison children, not the truth. It is the affair that is the attack on our marriages and our children.

Affairs thrive on secrecy and keeping it secret only serves to enable it. We keep this affair a secret at our own expense because that is how and why this affair has thrived. That is not good for our marriages and serves as a detriment to our children. I pledge to not enable this affair by aiding and abetting its secrecy.

Please understand that our marriages can never fully recover as long as they continue to work together. They will be perpetually triggered and experts advise that we are facing an on-again, off-again affair for as long as they continue to work together. Marital recovery is impossible under those conditions. I want you to be aware of this, because they cannot continue to work together if we are truly serious about saving our marriages.

I am sorry you choose to not be my ally at this very trying and traumatic time but I will respect your wishes to not contact you. I will be your silent ally in my fight against this assault on my marriage and my daughter's family. I will do that for my daugher, XXX.

Best regards, MoveMountain

Dang, Mel shore talks purty!

There you go, MM. Even better than mine.

You're doing great MM!! Excellent job!

And don't worry about OMW's response to your email. I agree with Marital's translation and you'll have to remember OM'sW is scared.

She KNOWS how liable her H can be in this A and she does NOT want an unemployed H or XH (whatever the case may be)