I predict a stark aloneness in your wife's future.

Unless of course she wants to share the principal with his wife. Unlikely.

You have given her ample time to decide if she wants you or him.

When she heads to school for work everyday, she makes her choice known clearly. When she comes home you are there and she gets the best of all worlds. You get the shaft.

Maybe she should learn what life is like without Move Mountains.

If she values her job so damn much then why did she have an affair with the principal??? She knew she was risking her job, and so did he. But they did it anyway. Probably in the janitor's closet. And they got caught.

Demand your wife quit. Get a lawyer and go after this guy. Fight for your family. Fight for your kid. Fight for yourself.

Where is that bar you set? Oh I see it waaaaay down there....

MM, you are in the drivers seat for you, your family and even for saving your WW. Please take that wheel. DO NOT LET HER INTIMIDATE YOU!

Look at the italicized script - what does it say? Everytime you've followed our advice it has worked for you, has it not?

Your WW has been acting like countless WWs before her, they ALL say and do the same things, so much so that I would wonder how much it bothers them after they come out of the fog to understand how cheap and common their actions really were.

You've stopped taking your prescription, MM. Slowly the disease symptoms will begin to reappear. You're starting to let doubt creep in, but have we been wrong yet? You said this just a week ago - What has changed since then? Nothing, right?

Your wife has given the old saw about being friends and having a great time coparenting - we call that the "fantasy divorce". See, if you are "friends" then it will assuage her guilt over what she is doing, see, it's not that bad, we are "friends". What a load of [censored] that is, but they hold onto that hope, and when you dash the idea, it blows the last vestiges of their justification out of the water. My affair wasn't right, my husband isn't what I portrayed him to be, and my fantasy plan isn't going like I thought it would. All that's left is for the OM to throw her under the bus to save his marriage, and the cycle will be complete and she will only then begin to realize what hse has done, only then will the fog begin to lift.

What will it take to bring it to that point? You must be RESOLUTE, MM, you must follow the advice with conviction, firm and uncompromising in your efforts to kill the affair and build a new marriage. You're worried about your wife's job? I'd be more concerned with your marriage. Some have found it necessary to pack up and move, MM, to start anew without any contact. For you, it may come to that.

This quote is from your first post here. She hasn't left.

Why are you now going soft and giving up control of your life?

...avoid the idea of the van in the schoolyard...

Subtle misunderstanding here, MB.

Drive the van back and forth in front of the school at drop-off and pick-up times, sounding the horn occasionally. If possible, park it on the street near the school all day.

School yard = school district property = BAD IDEA
Street in front of school = public access = GOOD IDEA

Creativity is NOTHING without a healthy dose of self-protection!

Ah, yes, so true. The devil's in the details!

MM --

Have you ever heard the phrase "do not negotiate with terrorists?" Because that is what a wayward wife is.
She will threaten and make demands.
You have to stand your ground. It is really crucial that you not let her disrespect you right now.

Women don't love men they don't respect. You cannot cave in to her right now.

Thanks for the dose of reality and the words of encouragement. This is what I have to do. It is so hard.

I am having my attorney draw up the papers now so they are at the ready. If she says no, it's in my interests to file first and I need to be ready to accept either outcome of the ultimatum. This will take a few days to get ready.

You are doing the right thing, MM. You have nothing to lose except a life of hell on a slow train to divorce. I predict what will happen is at first she will rant, rave, scream, try to kick you out to see if she can successfully intimidate you. Then when she sees you aren't backing down, she will come back in 2-3 days and say "ok, you [censored], I will do it, but I am not happy!!!"

And then you have a CHANCE. Because once the fog wears off after she gets out of there, she will appreciate that you stood up for your marriage. THEN recovery can begin.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Thanks Mel

MM --
Be sure to speak with your attorney about filing a suit against the school district. Hopefully they could find some grounds to create a lawsuit. School districts do not like lawsuits...
They do not even like the threat of lawsuits.

By the way, did you expose OM any further than his very passive wife? Co-workers? Other principal-buddies? His parents?

I am going to drag you across the finish line if I have to kill you, my friend!! Listen, know this is tough. You have come SO FAR. You are walking out of the burning forest with your family on your back. Keep walking until you are out!! I know you can do it!!

I know it is hard.

Look at it like this. I guarantee that it has never crossed her mind that you would file, that she could possibly be on the outside looking in. That will be a dose of reality for her.

I really think it will be important for you to be in control and for her to react, to have the discomfort.

Start thinking about Plan B, not necessarily because you are going to enact it soon, but to get your head around what it is.

I think every BS that hears about Plan B initially looks at it as a ploy in the process of getting their spouse back. It can contribute to that, it is mostly about removing the BS from the day to day turmoil. I was just like all others and was initially disappointed by my wife's non-reaction in my eyes, but eventually it started having the affect it is intended to have.

I was doing Plan B after I had to move, so my wife didn't have to change anything really. If you are in the home with the children (child, I can't remember), then her discomfort will be infinitely greater. She would have to be very stubborn and hell bent to keep things up. She may be, but you can't enable that.

I am not saying to start Plan B, just to understand it.

WAY TO MAN UP!! You scared us a bit. You were on top of things and then made the mistake of listening to your WW. You are going to have to let what she threatens, rants, raves and screams roll off your back. You might want to carry a VAR around in your pocket so she can't try accuse you of anything to get you thrown out of the house.

Whew! Thought we'd lost you there, for a minute.

Sometimes, as heartbreaking as it is, people do things that forgiving them for and putting them in the past just make matters worse.

With this level of subterfuge and lieing, it might just take a miracle for a healthy marriage recovery.

Make sure its the individuals who perpetrated the deeds, that are the ones on their knees, seeking repentantnce, not you, the victim.

Its the only way back that can lead to peace, and it will not kill them, it may just save them from a lat of heartache.

Thank you for being an honest stand up human being.

I am having my attorney draw up the papers now...This will take a few days to get ready.

This last update was over a week ago, MM. What has been going on in your situation since then?

Still here - things are taking longer than expected along with a few work issues. Still on track.