We agreed that it was ok to do it in a text as long as I approved what went out first. It went very well. His son came back and apologized for not coming around and asked if he could come next time. I was not expecting this response from him. His friends all asked if there was anything he needed and were very supportive.
I'm glad to hear that you at least got to approve the text....
Sadly he missed out on everything associated with making face to face amends and being honest with all these people.
He pulled off a huge, upset victory,for the home team of wayward thinking. And gaslighted you yet again in the process....
He didn't have to look any one in the eye.
He didn't have to see there reaction when he told them - THEY were being used as cover for his affairs.
He didn't have to look at you while he shared this information verbally.
He didn't get to see the hurt in your eyes.
He didn't have to risk other information, that you may not know about, coming out in the form of questions from them.
He him-hawed around, pretending/looking helpless, procrastinating,,,, and then (one of you) suggested it might be better received in the form of a text.
I'm still appalled with this one;
His son came back and apologized. Really! He now feels to blame for his dads LYING about everything, and somehow feels he must apologize? He's a kid and needed clarity and the chance to ask questions. His Dad should be embarrassed!
LD, you are missing these red flags and it will come back and bite you in the form of more wayward thinking!
I'm sorry, I'm trying not to come across as harsh...
I really want you to see what you're missing...
I want you guys to succeed, with all my heart I want you guys to have the greatest marriage in the world,,,,
...but you cannot get in the way of the steps he needs to take nor get in the way of the struggles he must address on his own...
He is a big boy and MUST put on his big boy pants!