When I am in conversation with her, is it okay to say "love you", when I say goodbye? Since relationship talk is off the table, I don't want her to think I am okay with being friend zoned, which is what she wants. I consider telling her I love her emotional honesty. Is there anything wrong with that at this point in time?

Odd,
I have a problem with the text you sent.

"Love, I totally understand where you are coming from and respect that."

She broke her marriage vows and you respect that? Really? Part of the stick of Plan A is being truthful about how the wayward's spouses actions are wrong and hurtful. You delivered the wrong message to her. Had I been online earlier I would have advised against sending the text.

When waywards are in the fog its usually better to say nothing. But if you had to say something, you should have said that her falling out of love with you is a problem to be solved, not an excuse to commit adultery.

Her comment about "happiness" is something that all self-absorbed waywards say.

Be natural in your conversations with her. Don't put on a phony image and don't try too hard to win her back. You are very early in the process. She is deep in the fog, and you are going to have realize that you can't control her or this situation. All you can control is YOU.

I would not say I love you. But I would be caring and show affection when she is open to receiving it, which she isn't right now.

Oh come on, you know she doesn't mean that. You know why she said that, right?

Good point. She had a lot of content in her response to him.

OJ's response could refer more to respecting her statement that she doesn't want to speak with him or be with him and if she changes her mind he would like to try to work something out. That is the way I take it anyway.

I can't imagine that she would interpret that as OJ is respecting and understanding her A.

I see both of your points. And honestly the way I responded kind of left it open and vague for interpretation. Perhaps next time I will be more specific about "which" parts I understand and respect. Hopefully I didn't do too much damage.

To help justify her actions.

So I've been getting the urge to send her another text today. I just came home from a short business trip - the first one I've ever come back from where she wasn't there to greet me. Let me know if you guys think this would have any adverse side effects or goes against plan A (sorry I'm still learning)

"So I was waiting for my plane in Denver yesterday when I realized that this would be the first business trip where you wouldn't be there to greet me when I got home. I always used to be so excited to fly home and give you that long embracing hug. Remember how excited we were to see each other after those long trips? (I think "dog name" was more excited than either of us though) I kind of miss you a little bit, dear! Anyways, hope you're having a good day. Love, me"

To help justify her actions.

Yes, plus she would hope that:

• She puts you on the defensive.
  
• She creates resentment in you, causing you to stop fighting.
  
• She will get a angry response, which she can display as evidence of your "abuse".

among other things.

Now that I think about it, that text I want to send is talking about our relationship, so is probably a no no?

edit: On the other hand though, I am supposed to be implanting little seeds of memories that represent good times in the relationship. Hmmmm.

Odd,
That is a nice text message. But in my opinion the key is to space them out. You don't want to crowd her, and each communication spaced out has much more impact than an ongoing string of them. Since you recently sent her one, I would not send it.

Thanks for the advice, I shall follow it.

I can see how not only would it crowd her, but spamming her texts every day would make me seem desperate. Sending them only every once in awhile shows that I am not constantly thinking about her, and doing other things.

...that text I want to send is talking about our relationship...

James Bond does not talk "relationship"; he talks "excitement, accomplishment, and pleasant times", as he's seducing his target.

When advertisers want to sell you a car, they do not lead off by telling you how much they'd like to have your money!

You have to sell her on the new you. You must offer a preview of things in/about the future you that she is not aware of in today's you.

"WW, I started running this week. I'm up to XXX miles, in YYY minutes. I dropped ZZ pounds and feel great!"

"I got praised by the boss today, who told me how valuable I am to the firm, and what hopes/plans he has for me going forward."

Do you see the point, here?

SELL, SELL, SELL!

Well the point of that text is to talk about pleasant times. I think I will send it still when the time is right.

So I need to be James Bond, and a car salesman. That puts a funny picture in my head .

Exactly! And as you just wrote, you should be doing other things and you should not be constantly thinking of her. That second part is hard. I remember going home on Friday night's the first few weeks after DDay, stopping by the store to pick my 6 pack of Sierra Nevada, turning out the lights in the house, and listening to sad songs. Not the way I normally respond to adversity but it helped me through. You will be thinking of her non-stop, but find other activities to occupy your mind. Exercise is good as the endorphins really give a natural high.

If it were me, I wouldn't send anything for at least a week.

Creating a little distance and her wondering what you are up to.

Giving her the idea (which I hope you can do anyway) that you are going to move on and your life is going great. You are not pinning the time starring at your phone waiting for her to reach out to you.

Hope for the best and plan for the worse.

Plus give this A to exist on its own without 'public enemy number 1' --you to complain about. It is going to crumble.

mmmmmm Sierra Nevada.....tasty.

Leinenkugels is my current favorite, followed by Smithwick's.

DH is an alcohol rep and he's learned enough about beer to make good recommendations.

Fat Tire, and Cutthroat are my two favorite beers. Titan IPA is amazing.

I'm not a fan of IPAs, but the pony loves them.

Goose Island is one of the leading IPAs in our area.

I love Redd's, too.