Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Checking in again...three years past DDay #3, OM#4 un-iversary (May 6, 2009). Happy to report that Ex is getting along nicely with me, our DDs, and my fiance. Life is GRAND!

Be strong people, do NOT give up, and do NOT be a doormat! Do what�s right, what is best for you and your family. Set the bar high, and do NOT settle for anything less. LG, out smile

"If it's important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."


3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
Originally Posted by LawfulGood
Checking in again...three years past DDay #3, OM#4 un-iversary (May 6, 2009). Happy to report that Ex is getting along nicely with me, our DDs, and my fiance. Life is GRAND!

Be strong people, do NOT give up, and do NOT be a doormat! Do what�s right, what is best for you and your family. Set the bar high, and do NOT settle for anything less. LG, out smile

"If it's important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."
Thanks LG for the update and glad you and your DD are doing well


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
I don't know how you didn't Plan B that woman for life ... more power to you to be able to have a relationship with her.

Is she still as entitled, selfish, and wayward? If yes, then how do you do it without losing your mind?

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by PrayIncessantly
I don't know how you didn't Plan B that woman for life ... more power to you to be able to have a relationship with her.

Is she still as entitled, selfish, and wayward? If yes, then how do you do it without losing your mind?


I do what I do for my kiddos (DD's ages 13 and 11). Ex will always be their Mom, and I respect that and do what's best for my children. Ex is cordial to me, and in some instances really helps me out (taking kiddos when I'm on vacation or out of town). Remember, I have primary custody of my DDs...they are sleeping under my roof all but two weekends a month.

Is she still entitled, selfish, and wayward? Not that I see. As I said before, she's cordial to me and helps out when she can. She has a long-term boyfriend and it seems to be going well. I wish her nothing but the best. A happy Mom means less stress on our daughters. I am happy and at peace with my life.



3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
Do you parallel parent? Does the contact you have with her bother you? You don't have any hard feelings towards her?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Quote
Is she still entitled, selfish, and wayward? Not that I see. As I said before, she's cordial to me and helps out when she can. She has a long-term boyfriend and it seems to be going well. I wish her nothing but the best. A happy Mom means less stress on our daughters. I am happy and at peace with my life.

This is why it's so important that the A end, even if R never happens. Once the A is over, even if the WS goes on to have other relationships, it will be different. They will often be able to be good parents, and in many cases will appear nearly human. smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Originally Posted by LawfulGood
Life is GRAND!

hurray

Thanks for the update LG! Keep on smiling!! dance2


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Do you parallel parent? Does the contact you have with her bother you? You don't have any hard feelings towards her?

My Ex is a doctor and basically said I needed to have primary custody of the DDs because of her work schedule. There was no custody battle, no arguments there...she pays me child support (and alimony...i walked away from four careers to support her medical career and was a stay-at-home dad for 4 years).

Kids sleep at my house all but four nights a month (the two weekends she has them). Ex does pick kiddos up from school some days in the month, and keeps them with her until bringing them back to my house at 8 PM on those days. I'm primary custodial parent and have final say.

Hard feelings? Not so much now. Our divorce dragged out 1.5 years, and that was a little tough. My sense was that Ex was trying to protect her business and $$, but in the end, we settled without putting it in front of judge. It was a fair settlement.

Met a wonderful woman on match-dot-com two years ago. Like I said before, life is GRAND! smile


3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
Originally Posted by LawfulGood
Met a wonderful woman on match-dot-com two years ago. Like I said before, life is GRAND! smile
Before your divorce was final?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by LawfulGood
Met a wonderful woman on match-dot-com two years ago. Like I said before, life is GRAND! smile
Before your divorce was final?

I was going to ask the same thing. Those dang foreigners. laugh beating me to the punch.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
You have to get up early in the morning to beat the Brits, Brainy!

Wait...you're usually up all night...


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,386
Likes: 3
Originally Posted by SugarCane
You have to get up early in the morning to beat the Brits, Brainy!

Wait...you're usually up all night...

Haha yup that dang night shift. Lack of sleep makes me slow and I have to be on my toes to compete with those Brits.

Hey to not t/j LG's thread can you take a look in on zouzouni's thread?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
It makes sense now ... thanks for the clarification LG

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Plan D enacted May, 2009...final decree paperwork signed Dec 2010.


3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Well hello people of MB.com

Has it really been FOUR years since Plan-D activated? Why yes, YES it has been four years!

I am here to report life is grand. DD's are adjusting well, playing club sports, oldest is getting ready for high school next year. My Redhead and I continue to raise our "blended" family to the best of our abilities.

The Ex is getting married in October to a good man. DD's tell me he's nice, treats them well, and treats Ex well...and that is all that I can ask for. Ex and I are very cordial, e-mail / text often and are on the same page with DD's. She supports my decisions and I her's.

Keep the faith people. Stay strong. Do NOT be a doormat, stand up for what you believe in and what you need in life. I am a shinning example that there is life after Plan-D.

Take care, LG


3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Does her soon to be new husband know she is a serial adulteress?

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
JK,

Glad you brought that up, because it is one aspect of adultery the adulterers don't anticipate...

When the affair and marriage fail how do reestablish honesty with the next spouse? I think many compound their error by lying about how their marriage ended, allowing their affair to continue into the third relationship.

God Bless
Gamma

Last edited by Gamma; 05/21/13 10:06 AM.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Hi Lawfulgood,

Glad to hear from you. This is your infrequent responder.

I guess that you ex has proved to you to be a serial cheater. I wonder whether her interaction with marriage builders forum has in any way changed her tune. Certainly the divorce with you should give a strong Pavlovian response. Please keep infrequently posting.

Tell us more abut the redhead. Is she a copy of the Ex?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 173
Jedi: Not sure if the new man in Ex life knows her history. Rumor on the street is that he is a "cheater" and cheated on her in their relationship. But that is just rumor / hearsay. I cannot confirm.

Thanks Gamma!

Imagine: I hope the Ex has learned from the experience, and learned from this site (in her brief time here). I do wish her the best, and hope that it all works out for her. That would also be best for our DD's.

Red is wonderful! Not much like the Ex. Red is fiery, outspoken, wears her emotions on her sleeve, kind, family oriented, caring and loving.

We were completely honest and open about our history coming in to this relationship. She knows that I will not be a doormat and will not tolerate cheating. That is a major deal-breaker...no questions asked. I know her deal-breakers. We treat each other with respect. There are challenges, as with all relationships. And it takes work. She is a good woman and I appreciate all that she brings to this relationship. She treats me right.

LG


3-DDays, 4-OMs*, Plan-D May 9, 2009, final Dec 2010 (FREEDOM!)
Custody of DDs / new job(s) / "I'm alive...and well"
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,493
Likes: 9
Originally Posted by LawfulGood
My Redhead and I continue to raise our "blended" family to the best of our abilities.
Are you and the "Redhead" married, or living together, LG?



BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Page 5 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 225 guests, and 56 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
raysunshine, BuckeyeGrad, A12345bc, light124, DORA SMITH
71,770 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,564
Posts2,323,014
Members71,770
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5