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No i did not email corporate, I emailed the Store manager.
Yes I was 25 and she was 16 - as I said I was NOT planning anything. She was smart, and I made a poor choice. A very poor choice. Please do not lecture I have heard well enough. I know.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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This should be a clear sign that you can never drink alcohol again. Have you completely quit drinking alcohol?
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No i did not email corporate, I emailed the Store manager. You need to FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS on this website and email the letter to corporate senior officers (CEO and VP)
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No I do not drink that was a first and last.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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No i did not email corporate, I emailed the Store manager. You need to FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS on this website and email the letter to corporate senior officers (CEO and VP) Done
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Tell us about the circumstances in which you come to have an "other child" (OC). Not many believe this, but it was confirmed with the OW. 8 years ago, we had a babysitter. I was not the husband I wanted to be and I thought I was ruining my wife's life. I questioned staying with her. I never had nor made friends and at the tie I needed someone to talk to about whether to stay married or not. I stupidly chose the baby sitter. There was No emotional connection. My wife liked to party and drink all the time. I hated it and Never drank, ever. I did not understand the buzz about drinking so one night I decided to drink to get drunk while my wife was away with family. During my stupor, and unable to hold my liquor, the babysitter came down from the upstairs apartment (she lived with her aunt, our friend). She was hitting on me, and I said no, you have to go. But since I do not remember anything beyond this point - this is what the OW told me: I left the living room and went to my room and passed out. The OW came in the room and tried to wake me, she could not. At this point, she got my pants off and had her way with me while I was passed out. - reminder I never drank before and had downed a 12 pack in about 20 minutes. When I came to (very hazy to remember), I thought I had urinated in my sleep - did not understand then, after OW story it made sense. My wife suspected I was cheating, but I never had a plan nor did I want to. A few weeks later, OW said she was raped at a party and was pregnant. My wife and I both argued over it, nether of us knew anything more than the other. I assured her the child could not be mine, and she never heard the story from the OW, so never really believed me. Several years later, OW calls up and claims she needed help with medical for the child and named me as the father. I was still unaware of the story. And here came the blood test. I had no contact with the OW, and ended up paying support. After our first separation, I finally contacted the OW, and she then told me what happened, but by this point there was no legal recourse, and my wife wanted nothing to do with it. I would not believe this story for an iota of a second. Have you offered to take a polygraph? You cannot possibly expect your wife to believe this wild tale based on your word, or that of your OW! Have her write a list of questions about the nature of this A (or anything else she questions) and answer them fully. Arrange to have a polygraph to confirm your answers.
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I second what unwritten is saying - you need to back up your story with a polygraph examination.
I don't believe anything less than a transformation of the way you have been living would save your marriage - or make it worth it for your wife to remain married to you. No more drinking, no more lying or privacy, no more independent behavior (never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your wife), no more neglecting the children (put at least 15 hours a week on your schedule for spending quality time with your children, and your wife if possible), no more neglecting your wife (put at least 15 hours a week on your schedule for meeting your wife's intimate emotional needs), and absolutely no more angry outbursts, ever, or even being disrespectful or demanding.
That is a tall order, but it is what any man needs to do if he wants his wife to be in love with him.
Last edited by markos; 11/08/14 08:13 PM.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I don't believe anything less than a transformation of the way you have been living would save your marriage - or make it worth it for your wife to remain married to you. No more drinking, no more lying or privacy, no more independent behavior (never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your wife), no more neglecting the children (put at least 15 hours a week on your schedule for spending quality time with your children, and your wife if possible), no more neglecting your wife (put at least 15 hours a week on your schedule for meeting your wife's intimate emotional needs), and absolutely no more angry outbursts, ever, or even being disrespectful or demanding.
That is a tall order, but it is what any man needs to do if he wants his wife to be in love with him. As I stated the drinking was a one and done thing. I literally never drink. The lying and privacy, not sure where that was coming from but I never hid anything from her, and never lied beyond "yes I took the garbage out" - then went and did it that moment. As far as independent behavior, I barely left the house, and worked from home, so I never went anywhere save fro walmart without her. The spending time with kids is in progress. I am working on seeing them as often as I am able given the circumstances. As far as spending time with her, I spent nights with her watching movies. She and I both neglected getting out of the house due to child watching concerns and the like. We tried to find time with each other and that was one of our biggest downfalls. And of course I cannot work on that now given the situation, but have learned it's utmost value and importance - if I ever get the opportunity again, it would be a priority.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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The term "independent behavior" doesn't mean doing something by yourself - it means behaving as if your spouse doesn't exist. i.e., doing anything that they are not enthusiastic about. If you had followed this rule in the past it would be much more likely that your wife would not now be wanting to leave you.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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The term "independent behavior" doesn't mean doing something by yourself - it means behaving as if your spouse doesn't exist. i.e., doing anything that they are not enthusiastic about. If you had followed this rule in the past it would be much more likely that your wife would not now be wanting to leave you. More understood now. Of course this was not my intent, but by being lazy and selfish I see where I had done things, or not done things. There were many times she wanted to go do stuff, and I would make an excuse for some justifiable reason, and she would concede - now knowing that the concede was just admitting defeat not agreement.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question. Will you write Dr. Harley?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am not sure yet what my questions should be. During the course of this affair, I have become stronger and smarter to what has cause our marriage to crumble. I have come to realizations that i never even considered an issue in the past.
I know what I must do in order or my wife to see me again as the man she fell in love with and be able to do it again in the future. My only dilemma at the moment is the waiting for the affair to end, and the chance to have real conversations with her again, conversations that are more than just about the children.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Do you have the list of OM family and friends? Did you prepare your exposure letter? Did you copy the letter from this website?
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Do you have the list of OM family and friends? I do, I only question who to send to. I know many people have FB friends that are just added for the sake of adding.
Did you prepare your exposure letter? I did, and it is ready to go.
Did you copy the letter from this website? It is not verbatim, but mostly copy pasted. And with all that I am still terrified, more so of divorce as cleared up earlier.
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Send it to all of the OM family and friends and then post his picture on www.cheaterville.comYou need to get moving on this so exposure is done Sunday/Monday
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What do you think about the polygraph, is this something you will do?
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What do you think about the polygraph, is this something you will do? I wouldn't have a clue how to go about it, but I would not object
Me: 35 Her: 31 Together: 05/03/2002 Married: 10/14/2004 Children: D10,D8,S5 Bomb: 08/26/2014 Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015 Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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I just googled 'how to find a polygraph examiner' and the first link allowed me to enter my zip code and brought up several examiners in my area. It took me about 30 seconds from reading this post.
I assume you know how to google.
I am not trying to be sassy here, but these are the differences between someone who is willing to be a bulldog to get what he wants, and someone who is too lazy to do the obvious.
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What do you think about the polygraph, is this something you will do? I wouldn't have a clue how to go about it, but I would not object Here Polygraph Testing
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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