</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by neverenough:
<strong> Thanks Orchird.

I don't have it in me to Plan A. It takes everything I have just to make it through the day. Dh has said he would give me some time for me to work on me. Get myself where I need to be.

I don't even know if there is an A. I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what is the truth, what's not. I just know I am tired of being lied to, of always questioning, of second guessing.. I am tired of it. I don't want to do this anymore. I dont' want to be nice to him, I don't want anything to do with him. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">U seriously need to work on you. I strongly urge you to work with Penny. Steve is great also. His insight along with Penny and Jennifer is priceless.

Why continue down the path of the unknown, when you c/b in recovery? I recall my dark days when I felt like I was in a very dark room with obstacles all around me. Hanging from the ceiling were sharp square objects, protruding from the walls were 3 dimensional figures and from the floor sprang odd shaped obstacles. All the while I had to keep moving, carrying with me my most prized posession, my child. That was all I could carry. Stopping meant losing my life so I cotinued to struggle through the darkness. No light showed anywhere, it was a dark time. With persistence and a bit of stubborness, I found the light that helped me in turn find the will to survive. Is it dramatic? Yes because it was a dramatic time. That is how I felt not that long ago. Yet it felt like a looong time ago.

Get back into counseling. Pray for patience, a clear mind and a calm heart. Get your mind and heart in sync. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugz,
L.