I hope you had a great Memorial Day! We had my parents watch DD and went to play tennis - we had a lot of fun! RC isn't anywhere near the top of either of our ENs, but it certainly added units to the Love Bank for each of us!

The Gaslighting posts have been very informational ... I quit reading Larry178's post when there was drama (what's with all the MB arguments these days?). There isn't a lot of info on here, or out there (on the www), about how to react to the Gaslighting. I must say that I have found that saying - "I'm not listening to this", "You are making this about something that it is not. When you are ready to discuss the real issue, I'll talk" or just walking away all seem to work well. My H has noticed that I won't take that garbage anymore - and I think that he respects me more for it. My opinion on reacting to Gaslighting is that its a boundary issue. But that's JMO, and I'm no expert!

I think I'm going to approach POJA on layman's terms ... by just saying something like "We've been working so well as a team lately and I'm so happy about that! I think that its important that we continue to grow as a team. Something that would help me feel like that would be for us to make more decisions together. How would you feel about that?" I'm certainly open to suggestions on this ...

IBs are a lifelong habit for my H ... I'm not expecting changes overnight. (My patience is growing!) But he has made a conscious decision to work on communicating and I think he will continue on this path ...