Well, obviously Tyk is right about not being a doormat, and I agree...kind of 50/50 on that one myself. The ONLY reason you would let her have the surgery is STRATEGICAL on your part-- to keep her home and laid up while you Plan A her...NOT to be a doormat...get it? Logic obviously points out that getting a boob job isn't going to help her major self-esteem issues right now (band-aid on a gaping wound). She WILL have to deal with these issues eventually, your goal right now is to keep her in NC as much as you can. Surgery keeps her immobile and away from others who may negatively influence her, as she is extremely vulnerable right now.

If you want to address the issue of "no SF until I have the surgery" I would reverse babble this rather than sound "demanding" or "controlling." Something like "Well dear, I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with YOU until you are tested and are safe for ME. Besides, I think you are sexy just the way you are...what would you like for dinner?" Make SURE you change the subject and then walk away if she blows a gasket...no getting sucked into heated debates or R and A talks right now! It is futile to try and educate her, but imperative that you maintain your boundaries. Mulan had a great post on boundaries, which is now in Peperband's "Notable Posts" thread on the board (one of the last posts, as she just added it a couple days ago).