I'm going to have to disagree with the other posters. Some people are more private and just don't express their emotions to strangers. We're used to seeing BS's who are falling apart and at their rope's end.

I see that you have realized and admitted where you messed up in your marriage. I did wonder about the sugarmomma comment though, is that how your WH sees you? Men are funny creatures (no offense guys) but sometimes they need to feel needed. Yes, you are trying to meet your WH's needs, but do YOU have any needs that he could meet? Does he know this? Or does he think you're totally independent and self-sufficient?

I would say that in your Plan A you should LOOK for ways for your WH to meet your needs (i.e., WH, I've got this problem and I just can't figure it out (computer, whatever) will you help me? See? You may be able to do it just fine... there's nothing wrong with letting your husband be a man. He may feel emasculated by your independence. I know, because I was that way prior to my H's affair(s).

What can you do to improve yourself and become a better wife? Not just a partner... but a wife. Men thrive on compliments, recognition for their abilities, HEARING the things they do right. Not fake... but REAL things.

Give up your job. Let your husband provide for you, spiritually, emotionally and mentally for awhile, if he will. Maybe it's not too late.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story