I know that I'm a voice that isn't necessarily saying things you wish to hear. I was in your shoes and didn't wish to hear it either.

There is life after divorce. This woman has cheated on you repeatedly with this guy, you haven't been married long, and you have no kids.

Separate your finances, as she is doing. This is for your own protection.

I don't understand the desire to save something with a woman who shows she doesn't have any respect for marriage and that you have no kids with.

You are looking at a life of deployment so long as you're in the service. You want to worry each time you head out or would you rather have a woman you don't worry about?

Just consider what I say. When I was in your shoes I got mad when the chaplain, of all people, told me that if my WW didn't wish to reconcile and work on things and I headed toward divorce that I should fight tooth and nail for everything.

I didn't want to hear it. I had a commander who told me that I wasn't the problem, my wife was. He told me to D her.

I didn't listen because I didn't want to.

You're young. You deserve better than this. Keep doing what you're doing as far as exposure goes. Just keep a realistic eye on things. I have very rarely seen these things end in recovery on these boards. It happens, but I've rarely seen it with wayward wives. It more often than not ends up with the WW pursuing the D and the BH coming here through the years dealing with personal recovery. The men who emerge from this gauntlet are shining examples for many of us. Chrisner comes to mind, so do a few others.

This is a terrible time for you professionally as well. Seek the support you need, but if you make it through this, focus on your career. Forget about women for a while if you end up divorced. Deploy a lot, do the job, buck up the credentials, and then think of dating again down the road. You won't regret that path.

I'm pulling for you though. It will take a miracle for her to see the error of her ways, but I'm still pulling for you.