Gerka --

Your wife and SOL's and several others are ACTIVE waywards.
They require special handling in terms of Plan A.
Male waywards just lap up Plan A like a cat with cream.
But WOMEN are different.

She thinks she is in luuuuv with OM. In contrast, she is in a state of withdrawal from you. She does not feel in love with you. So trying to flirt or entice her isn't going to be well received right now -- especially since she blames you PRIMARILY for the problems in her affair.

Right now she feels extreme anger towards you. She does not give a rats [censored] what you do with your hair. Prior to the affair-implosion she probably felt affection but not that "in-love" feeling that she has for OM. So prior to the recent events she might have made some kind of positive comment about it -- but right now you should just expect it to irritate her.