hi Gerka,

I see that you are sliding into Peematch Valley.
It's easy to do, it's easy to lose your grip when dealing with a wayward.
They push buttons and see only red.

Their goal is to make you REACT in a way that justifies the way that they ACT.

You need to get your focus back, not only for your M, but for you.
Read her irrational words as just that, irrational. I was pretty entertained with all that I read from her in these last pages.
I'm not sure if this will help you or not, it did help me. Allow yourself one liner statements of your goal and only one.
By doing this I felt that I was still standing my ground, it didn't allow a pee match to happen and stopped me from going off into a rant.
You do have the control here in this situation, it's just not feeling like that to you.

What's being said about educating a wayward is so true, you can't, they don't hear it. They are offended by it, it is 100% lovebusting.

Can you step back a bit, move your focus to something other than the chaos in your life right now ..... what do you do to take time out, relax ?

You've mentioned that you go to the gym, this is good.
Dr. Harley has said that when we are worked up, it is best to do something that slows our adrenalin, not support it.

When I first read about WW's news of her Dad, my first thought was 'verify this'.
I have no idea if what WW says is all truth, since she is grasping at straws right now and will use any means to manipulate you.
Verifying is your new way in dealing with a WW and a FWW if she reaches that.
I don't understand blackberries etc., I wondered if you could have forwarded her message along with your own, to her family.
This way her family would know what info you had received from her and the reason for your concerned reply.

I think the idea of recording your calls with her, is a very smart move.

I read the OM's name, while I don't give a hoot if it's here for his sake, I do wonder if it may have some harm to his children at some point.
These threads are around for a long time and there are thousands of people who read them.

Hang in there Gerka, time will tell if she chooses to stay broke.

M'd 22 years
D-Day 08/08 LTA