Originally Posted by MarriedForever
I've always wondered why folks stick around here when they do not use (or sometimes even agree with) the MB concepts.

There are many other infidelity forums out there ~ why stick around here and complain? Why not go to a forum that doesn't advocate a PROGRAM to deal with infidelity or improving your marriage?

Why disrespect Dr. Harley and all the work he has done?

:::waving hand wildly::: Ooo, ooo, pick me! Pick me! laugh

I've wondered that, and here's what I came up with: this site appears to have the best, most solid plan for ending and recovering from an A. I think posters go to other sites and realize that there really isn't help there, just commiseration. And while they need some commiseration, what they really need are tools. They just don't know what those tools are.

Then they make it to this site, battered and bleeding, and we tell them what it's going to take to recover themselves and/or their M. Many times they don't like hearing what we have to say. It sounds counter-intuitive. It sounds scary. It makes even the bravest sometimes say "Isn't there another way?" It requires them to completely change the way they think. They want to be coddled in many cases, because they instinctively realize that they are a victim. Some just can't get out of that victim mode.

You know something else? Tom2010 made an interesting point - that more men than women are unwilling to do the work to kill the A. And I think he's right, at least on the threads I've read. Why do you think that is? (Sorry, MF - don't mean to t/j blush )

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!