Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Dr H has already said what he would do if Joyce would betray him, he would divorce her.

He knows what the program entails, knows how well it works and yet his stated position is that he would divorce his wife if she's unfaithful.

Dr Harley has said that most people say they will divorce their spouse but when it really happens they change their mind. He doesn't know how he would feel if it really happened.

Originally Posted by Dr Harley
One of the most remarkable discoveries of my career as a marriage counselor is that marriages can thrive after infidelity. I would never have guessed it, based on my own reactions. My wife, Joyce, let me know early on that if I ever had an affair, she would not divorce me, she would KILL me (maybe that's why I have taken such extraordinary precautions to avoid it). My own reaction to an affair by Joyce would be as drastic. But I wouldn't kill her, I'd just never see or talk to her again.

That's the way almost all couples feel about infidelity before it actually happens. They can't imagine living with someone who's been unfaithful. But what people think they will do, isn't what they usually do in this case. Surprisingly enough, after the dust settles, most couples try to reconcile.


Even so, it is entirely a personal decision whether or not to save a marriage after an affair. With 2 interested parties, it is very possible to achieve a happy, romantic marriage after an affair. MANY people here have done so. So when people come here for help and WANT to save their marriage, we can show them how to do that.

I use MB to work on my marriage, but I would not advise anyone to save a marriage to an unfaithful spouse given my experience with such an experience.

But they are not here for your personal experience. People come here for help saving their marriages. And that is what we have to offer.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101