EE, I don't intend on going around and around this again with you. My points are still valid that there is NO HARD EVIDENCE from DrH that states that a WW will NEVER come back.
So far, you are not going around and around with me. I never said never. I said it was so rare (nearly impossible were my exact words) that to me, it's not worth pursuing.
So if you want to take exception with me, then please, you and the others read and understand what I'm saying and don't distort it to mean something I never said.
We have seen it over and over again(and I haven't even been here a year yet). I even mentioned that I often found it interesting that DrH used a WW as the example in SAA. Even while I was reading SAA for the first time, I thought, "Huh, he used an example of a woman in a PA and a man in an EA when in my RL experiences, I would have seen the opposite. I wonder why he did that?" I then come on here and see that there are not really gender specifics other than the amount of time spent in plan A.
Could be any number of reasons. Why does Dr H tell guys in the letters about their wives leaving that it may be too late? Because he knows there is a time where it's too late to entice the wayward wife back.
Likewise, my anecdote is just as valuable as yours. I've seen dozens of men, good men, betrayed and their wives never looked back, just like my ex wife.
So we can trade anecdotes, or we can see if we can find real numbers.
I'd like to hear from Dr H of how many who come to him to win back a wayward wife, what percentage successfully marriage build?
Anything else is speculation, no matter which side of the issue one sits.
It was mentioned previously that it could be the BS's gender that more directly affects our view on this board. In a more general way, BHs tend not to be looking for a way to save their marriage on a website about MB(a pure generalization, there are MANY men posting on this site and to this very thread who go against this). They may even try to go it alone(as in the case of my father). Whereas many women discuss ways to fix things in their lives and a website such as this would be an extension of the support they have IRL. Who knows? Well, DrH is the only one that could tell us for sure which way his numbers weigh.
In my experience however, I don't see any advice from DrH that says, "If you are a BH, give up, it's over." I think it's worth a try no matter what gender you are. JMHO
The thing is, I have the experience. Maybe I'm cynical, but remember, I'm the one who actually spent my money with Steve Harley, and while I agree it's a great program to build a marriage, and it's how marriages should be run, I would not tell someone to try to win back a wayward wife.
I wouldn't talk them out of it either. I'm answering as if someone asked me, "If you were in my shoes, what would you do?"
I don't pretend to know it all, or to know the best answer.
If a friend came to me and wanted my advice on how to win back his wayward wife, I'd point him here and tell him it's a tough journey.
But if he asked me what would I do, I'd tell him I'd cut her from the team.
It depends on how the quesiton is asked. If I'm not asked for my advice on how to proceed, then I'm not going to tell someone what to do. They have to decide.
For me, having experience on wayward wife who never once joined a call with Steve Harley, I wouldn't waste my time on another wayward wife, period.
